On scraps of paper
strewn about the house,
I catch a glimpse of your handwriting
and it resurrects you from the dead.
Amongst the living,
I can hear your whistle
as it echos in the hall
and I remember how I thought that,
'one day, you would make a good dad'.
Amongst the living,
I forget for a moment
that you’re thirsty
for my blood.
and that dust now gathers
in the spaces
where the blood used to flow.
Amongst the living,
I forget for a moment
that you’re haunting me.
That you’re still here
but I can’t speak to you.
That your corpse still lies
in the next room
Still.
Tv blaring,
The smell lingers
and it’s getting bad.
my phone lights up with your name
and I jump.
Amongst the living,
I remember
that you’re only broken.
I can see your smile
in my mind’s eye,
Your freckles
and how I used to count them.
I wonder now
how much time I’ve spent
staring at your face
and how I knew our baby
would have those eyes too.
primal, astral, ancestral,
blue.
I loved you once
and for a moment,
I remember.