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Emily Nemec Feb 2015
I have this horrible thing where I don’t feel worthy of anything. I don’t really feel worthy of a job or worth any kind of wage because in all honesty I don’t see that I have much to offer the world.
I never feel entitled to a break. I can never relax and guilt basically runs my life. I always feel like I should be doing something because otherwise I’m a waste of time and space.
I never feel like I’m worth anyone’s attention or time. Being a burden on people is one of my greatest fears and it’s why I never ask for help. I don’t want to be a daily burden on any person - not that I’d be worth a person’s time in any regard.
I don’t feel like I’m worth love. Or friendship, for that matter. I’m at a point where I don’t even know what the word ‘friendship’ really means.
I guess some people will say “change your mindset”, but that’s such an easy thing to say and not something I’ve been able to do. It’s been this way since I was a child and I guess I can hope things will get better, but right now all I’m trying to do is manage my mental state and avoid another breakdown
Emily Nemec Feb 2015
--
i need to kiss you so badly. one of those kisses where
i am pressed against you as much as possible and my hands are in your hair moving down your back, clutching to you in any way
i possibly can, kissing you as deeply as possible and thinking
you're
mine
mine
*mine
Emily Nemec Feb 2015
Him
He dosent write poems but you hope he loves you like one you hope he see you like a symphony, like a sculpture, like paint or clay, like something he can get his hands on. you hope hes painting you in colors that dont even exist just so he can give them a name. you hope he see you like every sunset he has ever missed. you dont understand the way he thinks but you hope he thinks of you often.. i hope you think of me as *art.
Emily Nemec Feb 2015
Why do bad things happen?"
“Why does evil exist?”
“Why is the world becoming more sinful everyday?”
These are questions that are asked on a regular basis and it is proven that no answer is perfect enough to respond with. It is healthy to question the sadism on earth and it is normal to be concerned about all of the evil that took and is taking place in history. But a question that is asked very seldom today is, “why do good things happen?”
I think cancer is the most talked about killer in all of the world. It’s murderous, it’s dreadful, and unfortunately, there is no way to stop it. Humans do not have control over some bad things, like cancer. We physically cannot stop the spreading of diseases in a moment’s notice like how we would like to. Bad things WILL happen and some of those things will be out of our control.
Take thunderstorms, for example. We cannot physically halt the demolition of a thunderstorm and we have no control over what it annihilates. But, the one thing we can control is our reaction. Humans can control reactions. Do we rush for shelter? Do we pretend that its power to destroy every fabric of the city is nonexistent? Do we panic? Do we hide our loved ones first? We control the answers to these questions.
The beauty of life falls under the definition of a storm passing. The bad things are temporary. The bad things will always pass and once they do, it leaves another muscle in our hearts. Every lightning strike, every roar of thunder, every gray cloud, and every rainy day prepares us for the next storm. Our reaction to the eradication will be much more courageous than our last. Maybe we’ll know a quicker route to shelter. Maybe we’ll think in a greater sense of serenity. Maybe we’ll know a better position to be in, in order for the storm to not hurt us. The second time around we will take more advantage of what we can do to allay the storms in our lives. The bad things in life will always promise strength.
"Why do the good things happen?" is a question that is very rarely asked.
And well, good things happen because they are supposed to.
It was never God’s intention to make a world that consisted of bad. It was never in His heart to have sin enter the world because good always originates from the source of God. Goodness is God and Love is God, as well. And since Love is God, He gives us the choice to do whatever is in our will. If we love someone, we will not program them into robots, where we control every move they make. If we love someone, we will give them the freedom to perform any action they would like. So when man decided to bring sin in the world, God did not stop it from happening because He loved man so much that He was compelled to let him do whatever man wanted. Before man’s decision to sin, God made sure the world was spotless. But since His love gives us a choice, we chose to bring sin in the world.
Bad things happen because it was chosen by us to let them happen. Sometimes, we cannot control the bad things in the world but we can control our reactions. The downsides in life will never fail to be a life lesson, will never fail to soften our hearts if they need to be a softened and toughen our hearts if they need to be toughened. There is no telling when a bad thing will occur and we are allowed to acknowledge its jeopardy. But, the second time around, we will be prepared. The bad times only strengthen us.
Emily Nemec Feb 2015
People say im to picky, too choosey. That i have too much of a say in who i let bruise me that my guard is up to so high i cant see anything but it. That if i stepped off the edge of my walls, i'd plummet. I say i am like a shirt buttoned-up incorrectly.that i am a moment that lasts indefinitely. The problem with me is i love until i dont. That i will always stay till i wont. i am though trying to move into a person like they are a home. Every time i pack my bags, i know im am better off alone. people say i need to open up and let people in. but what if they are a tsunami and i dont know how to swim?

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