"Why do I always spill?
I feel it coming out my throat
Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap
God, I wish I never spoke"

Please don't hurt me
I swear I didn't mean it
I know I blurt too much
Please just blame in on the caffeine

God, I wish I never spoke
I really can't take back what I said
Don't choke me
Don't leave me dead

Just let me go
I can't do it
Because I know
That you can hit

I'll stitch my mouth shut
I've taken enough punches to the gut
Don't call me a snitch
Next thing you know
I'm on crutches

"come take my hand
and run through play land
so high, too high
at the carnival"

Just come hold my hand
Or take me to dinner
Don't just stand there
Come on, I'm a winner

You're more than this
Don't make a fool of yourself
Shut up and kiss me
Push me against the shelves

Give me a night to remember
Make me happy
Don't you remember that night in December
I still haven't paid for therapy

Run your hands through my hair
Surprise me
Make this fair
Fill the air with lustful glee

"smile for the picture
pose with your brother
won't you be a good sister"

My family files
Together in a line
We all pull fake smiles
And act like we're fine

We are all secretly dying
No can know
We're all buying
Happiness from shopping carts
We're all sad, though

No one sees my brother down pills
Or my dad postpone bills
No one sees my pull out the blade
Or my mom get played
By two guys or ten

But everyone should know
We are perfect
We are pros at pretending
Even if our lives are completely wrecked

We are happy
And perfect
And beautiful
And lovely
We are perfectly fine

"I'm laughing, I'm crying
It feels like I'm dying"

All the times
I sit at the edge of my table
Thinking I'll be able
To break my face on it
My cute prepared outfit
White turned red
Like they said
I should just die
No one would show up to my party of tears
Three cheers for broken hearts

He looks cute, right?
My lips bleed from the bite
                                                         I think I like him, hey you okay?
           “Oh yeah, just feeling a bit grey”
Her eyes fall on him as mine fall on her
                                                           You know, I’m not sure
My eyes move to the vapor
She blows out
              “About what”
I stare at her pretty pink lips
Reality weighs me down like bricks
I’m just- nothing
She’s quick to smile
Hiding everything she thinks
Her lips stay curved
Her eyes stay scrunched up
For a while
The spotted boy winks
It takes everything to not shout
She’s mine
                                                       Um, I’m kinda-
My eyes turn away from her and to the bar line
She’ll be more happy with him, anyway
I shouldn’t stay
       “I’ll be over here”
                                                        No, come bac-
My body argues my mind
No, you’re confined to boys
You don’t love her
You are above this
Normal  
           “One ***** martini, *****”
The smell of marijuana
Overpowering anything else
My heartbeat, my pulse
Speeding up as I order a second
                                                        What the hell are you doing?!
The sound of her words
Now intoxicate me
         “Go to him”
I slur my words
But to her they’re clear
                                                              Wh­at are you doing, stop!
         “No, go **** on a lollipop”
                                                               Listen to me!
My fingers now turned 90 degrees
                                                                ­ You’re only fifteen!
She yells in my face
Is it broken? Let’s check just in case
Her delicate warm hands
Feel like the calm in the storm
                                                                ­       It’s broke
            “Thanks a lot”
She slaps me in to reality
Her mouth opens wide
Showing her cute tooth gap
I can’t adore
I start to cry as I fall to the floor
             “I hate you!”
My words full of hatred
What mess have I created
                                                                ­      Great because I loved you

This fear, as heavy as lead
A sea of worry weighs me down in bed
There’s nothing to do
I can’t live without you
I can’t ignore the things I think
It’s walking around
Half of a pair
People swimming in bliss
As you gasp for air
It’s cold and it’s dark and I need you now
I need you here, please there is no way out
It’s walking around
Half of a pair
People swimming in bliss
As you gasp for air
It’s cold and it’s dark and I need you now
I need you here, please there is no way out
You can’t undo my brain
Because now it is trained to open up that vein
There’s nothing to do
I can’t live without you
Just watch them play
While I stay in, afraid

You had a question
It did seem strange
But about my lungs
They aren’t in pain
I don’t care
But do tell me why
Tell me why I should try
Oh, would you be so kind
As to leave me alone
You see
I’m trying
I know that you like me
But just please go away
So if you will
Please leave me alone
I think it’s only fair
I swear there’s no butterflies
Don’t share
You like me
Yeah, it’ not enough
But just if you will
Leave me alone
I don’t wanna write a story
I’ll be in my own book
I’m not joining you
But I’ll take a look
Oh, where are your manners
I think you need some time
Keep your chest today
I don’t want to decide
Oh, would you be so kind
As to leave me alone
You see
I’m trying
I know that you like me
But just please go away
So if you will
Please leave me alone
I think it’s only fair
I swear there’s no butterflies
Don’t share
You like me
Yeah, it’ not enough
But just if you will
Leave me alone
Oh, do me a favor
Can your heart rate slow down a little
Oh, do me a favor
Can your heart rate slow down a little
Oh, would you be so kind
As to leave me alone
You see
I’m trying
I know that you like me
But just please go away
So if you will
Please leave me alone
I think it’s only fair
I swear there’s no butterflies
Don’t share
You like me
Yeah, it’ not enough
But just if you will
Leave me alone