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Andy
Let me just tell you
That I...
I love you.
You're my best friend
I'd never want more
Then that.
You made me smile
For weeks we would talk and laugh and I would nearly get in trouble in math class just to see what you had to say.
You're honestly one of the best friends I could hope for, you showed me purpose when I believed there wasn't any
You don't know how my face and heart would light up when you replied to me
And though we haven't talked in a while I miss you
I'd get a plane ticket out to you and help you accomplish your dreams if I could
Remember when you said we could go live in Seattle and hire an actress to go to gym for me?
Remember?
And we could go to Kansas and you could teleport to get me?
Andy, please...
I know you have no control over it
Three weeks to live...
You deserve three eternities
I'd give them to you if I could
But I can't
No one can
Though I know we all would.
So live your life to the fullest
Use those three weeks to the max,
And never, never give up dear Andy
Fight for us
Fight for me
But don't give in
You
Don't
Have
To
Die,
But
Even
If
You
Do
You
Will
Live
On.
Andy is the best friend I will ever have online. (When I said love for you people who will tell me "you have a boyfriend" I meant as a friend, like a best best friend)  I read last night that he had three weeks to live so I spent all night writing this. If you read this Andy, hang tight, we love you. Hang in there if you can buddy. We all love you<3
The thing is:
You **** me off.
I am literally so done with your sass.
Your stares that cut through me.
The annoying way you ignore me to get me to "chase after" you.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Im not a toy, **** it.
Either love me or don't.
Fact of the matter is, I will ALWAYS love you.
I have tried not to. I can't win.
So either leave me alone,
Or hold me while I cry.
12-18-14
  Dec 2014 Ember Evanescent
WickedHope
no matter where i look
i can see my inadequacy
reflected in
everything i do
everything i say

everyone is worse off
with me around
why can't i just fix myself
permanently

if someone else isn't
breaking me
i am
Someone get me out of my head.
AHHHHHHHH.
Ember Evanescent Dec 2014
I don't know
It's fine
No it's not fine
I'm not fine
No I'm okay
This doesn't even make any f!cking sense
I don't know
Why am I feeling like this
I need a distraction
I NEED A F!CKING DISTRACTION
why am I yelling
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm (not) okay
Whatever
Someone stop me from texting him
Before I make an even bigger pathetic ***** of myself
I feel like an emotion-****
That doesn't even make sense
I think I need to find something else to get my mind off him
I think I need to find someone else to get my mind off him
I don't care whatever
Except that I do
Don't let me text him
PLEASE stop me from texting him
My mind is driving me insane
I give up.
No, I can't give up.
I'm going to stop
I won't text him
I think.
I am a waste of space. I am worthless. I hate him. I don't know *** my emotions are doing. no.
some days they are sad. sad about the weather, sad about the thing that happened last night, sad about losing their favorite book, sad about their coffee being cold, sad about the fact that they can't find matching socks. lots of things make them sad, lots of nothings make them sad too. you see, when you have a predisposition for being sad, every little thing counts.  so when you ask her why she is sad and she cannot answer, do not press further. do not go looking for a reason that just isn't there. when you ask what you can do and she says nothing, do not be hurt. do not feel useless. when she wakes in the middle of the night and she is silent, but you can feel the bed shaking as she cries, do not assume you know what she is feeling. you don't. hold her if she wants it, don't touch her if she doesn't. if you ask her if she wants you to stay and she says yes, do. but if she tells you to walk away, do not listen. stay with her, because if you don't, she might not be there in the morning .
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