Maybe you traveled a lot,
Buy have you ever been to hell?
Or in my head?
It's kinda the same thing,

It's dark
And cold
Memories walk alone like ghost
feelings are waist like clouds in sky
Love is cracked by hate
And scars are bleeding.

Maybe one day my head will be like paradies,
But for now it's hell.

I am Élodie.
I am a Human being.
I am a Girl
I am the third choice.
I am sometime the second.
I am never the first.
I am the depressif girl.
I am the girl who read lots a book.
I am the girl with the long sleves.
I am someone some people call "attention seeker"
I am girl
I am a human being.
I am Élodie.
I am broken.

I fell in love 3 time.
The first time with a guy,
Who loved my two best friend and couldn't care less of me.
The second one friendzoned me because i'm not a size2.
Le last one will never know that i love him.
Cauz i wont say anything.
Cauz it hurt too much.
Love ******* ***** guys.

She was the one who made me belive in happiness.
She was the one who was there two years ago,
With me.
And now,
I think she dosen't need me anymore.
Well, yes.
She comes back when she's crying,
And I'm the one who conforts her,
But after this,
She just runs away.
But, what about me?
What if I'M sad?
What if I'M crying.
Nothing.

I call this a game.
She's playing with me.
And I let her.
Cause I know Karma will take care of her.

Hanna says it: Sometimes you poke the bear. Other times, the bear pokes you."

Love.
Love is wonderfull.
Love is painfull.
Love is strange.
Love blind you.
Love is rare.
Love is everywhere .
Love makes you forget.
Love makes you forgive.
Love makes you smile and laught
Love makes you cry.
Love is true.
Love is fake.
Love is you.

this morning i woke up,
With the feeling i haven't slept in days.
That my voice was gone forever,
but i took a deep breath,
"I can do this"
thats what i told myself
and I got out of bed,
and got dressed.
Went to school.
No breakfast, no lunch.
People were always making comment about me.
"Walk faster, you're slow"
Thanks i know, i don't have any energie.
That's what i said in my head.
"You're not eating."
Are you sherlock holmes? Yes i'm not eating, i'm not hungry
Or thats what i tell myself.
"You look sad"
I am, and i want to throw up.
But i did not say anything
"You look Fat I mean, more than usual."
Thanks. Realy thank.

When i got home,
I went in my room,
Cried in my bed.
Got up,
Took my favorite tool,
And made myself feel beter.
At lest, that's what i told myself when i was hiding the blood runing threw my finger.
That's what i tell Myself.

When I'm with you,
I feel like i'm more than the depressive girl i usualy feel like,
When I'm with you,
I feel like i'm wanted and pretty and funny.
When I'm with you,
I feel good and the moment you're gone i keep hearing your voice and your laugh, i keep seing  the way you sake your head to move your hair.
When I'm with you,
you make me laugh and make me wonder if i'm crazy because of how ****** up some of our conversations are wierd,
but,
i love it that way.
I love you that way.
When I'm with you,
I love you,
And when i'm not with you,
I still love you