To: The brokenhearted girl

And to the boy who broke your heart,
I honestly hope he's happy,
I hope he's pleased with what he had done.
I hope he's sleeping peacefully, because you aren't.

I hope he shivers in pain, when he thinks of you
I hope his ears get tired of hearing your name
Over, and over and over again
Especially on nights when he's restless.
Especially on nights when he can't sleep
Especially on nights when his eye lids won't shut.
I hope he remembers the taste of your lips
And yearns for it when your lips hits the lips of another man.
I hope his dreams are filled with images of you
Images of you happier than ever,
Images of you finding someone that's better.
I hope when he eats, he remembers how your hand cradled the food
How your lips surrounded it and how your jaws turned almost hypnotically as you savoured the food the same way you did to his tongue.

And I hope when the lips of another are on him, they'll feel like yours
And her touch, will feel like your touch,
And her hair,
Her hair ..
I hope it smells like yours.
And I hope the kisses of another, will feel like lashes compared to yours
And i hope their touch, will feel like burns compared to yours
As if he's receiving a punishment for letting you go
As if he's receiving a punishment for falling in the arms of another.
As if he's receiving a punishment for using the word "love" too much.

And i hope the minute he utters "I love you" , he'll remember the times he told you,
He'll remember each one of them as if it was yesterday,
Remember which ones were lies,
Break down in tears
And comes crawling back to you.

But darling, don't forget to tell him it's too late.

Sincerely,
An onlooker
(h.s)

And I'm sorry that I left your heart at the peak of that cliff
The cliff that we had climbed to,
Yeah that cliff we reached
That cliff where you liked me
That cliff where I liked me.

And I'm sorry that I walked away,
You just weren't giving off light anymore
No spark, no flame. Nothing
You were dull, things got dull.

And I'm sorry I told you to that we should go separate ways.
I thought that was best.
You were falling,
And I wasn't about to catch you
Because at the bottom of that cliff, I was frolicking with another.
Too bad he turned me down days later, for another.

AND I AM SORRY THAT I CANNOT LIKE YOU IN THE WAY THAT YOU LIKE ME ANYMORE
AND I'M SORRY THAT YOUR HEART ACHED THE DAY I LEFT
And your mind .. ?
I'm sorry that it's stuck on me.
I'm sorry that you still think about me,
I'm sorry I'm still in your dreams
And I'm sorry that your shirt still smells like me from the last time we hugged.

And I'm sorry that until now, I've never been able to write a proper poem about you,
I'm sorry that I cannot finish this one, because I'm in tears and my fingers are getting weak and I just can't .. I'm sorry

And I'm sorry that I left your heart at the peak of that cliff
The cliff that we had climbed to,
Yeah that cliff we reached
That cliff where you liked me
That cliff where I liked me.

And I'm sorry that I walked away,
You just weren't giving off light anymore
No spark, no flame. Nothing
You were dull, things got dull.

And I'm sorry I told you to that we should go separate ways.
I thought that was best.
You were falling,
And I wasn't about to catch you
Because at the bottom of that cliff, I was frolicking with another.
Too bad he turned me down days later, for another.

AND I AM SORRY THAT I CANNOT LIKE YOU IN THE WAY THAT YOU LIKE ME ANYMORE
AND I'M SORRY THAT YOUR HEART ACHED THE DAY I LEFT
And your mind .. ?
I'm sorry that it's stuck on me.
I'm sorry that you still think about me,
I'm sorry I'm still in your dreams
And I'm sorry that your shirt still smells like me from the last time we hugged.

And I'm sorry that until now, I've never been able to write a proper poem about you,
I'm sorry that I cannot finish this one, because I'm in tears and my fingers are getting weak and I just can't .. I'm sorry

11:11 (2)

Wish I could take back that "*******"
Wish I could take it crush it,
Use my tears as kerosene & burn it.
That "*******" ruined everything,
That "*******" changed me since.

& if I could apologise a million times I  would.
I would've written at your doorsteps,
I would've written on your sheets
I would've written it in your notebooks
& in every single place we'd meet.
I would've written it in your palms
I would've written it over your walls
I would've written it upon the ground on which you trod.

And when we meet instead of saying "hi" I'd say "I'm sorry".

Wish I could rewind to the day you said "Marry me?"
I swear that was the funniest, but best day of my life
& you made me laugh like no other
Smile like no other
And it's still the same five months later.

Wish I could rewind to the day we first kissed,
And if I knew it was the last,
I would've made the best of it.
I would've held on so tight
That you eventually start begging me to let go.

Wish you didn't want *** so much
Wish we could've thrived on just love.
Wish nudes weren't your requirements
Wish you never gave up.

Wish my heart would stop calling your name !
If only you knew, it's in constant quarrels with my brain
My heart wants you,
But my mind's saying "just let him fade away"

Wish you could make you me smile one more time.
And I wish you'd give us one more try.

I know it's only wishful thinking, because you'd never want back a mess like me.

Am I really over you,
When I constantly wish to taste your lips once more
To cling onto you for a bit more,
To laugh at your jokes once more
And to gaze in your eyes for 3 more seconds, because that's the longest i could manage ?

Am I really over you,
When every poem since then has a bit of you,
When everything someone says & every little thing I come across reminds me of you ?

I think at 11:11 tonight, I'll wish for you.

And if someone asked me how much I miss you, & even though words cannot formulate how much my being aches for you I'd say:

"I think I miss him the way how the football field misses the knees of men, as they kneel in victory.

Think I miss him in the way how a child misses her mother's breast, as she has gotten too old for that now.

Think I miss him the way a mother misses the bulge in her belly, after she has given birth.

Think I miss him the way how the playground misses the children, because they're on summer break.

Think I miss him the way how a druggie misses the smell of *******.

Think I miss him the way how a stripper misses the pole after work and the way how a ******* misses being penetrated.

Think I miss him the way how a mother miss her cold blooded, murdered son

Think I miss him the way how the sheet misses lovers after nights of *** only to find out they're lovers no more.

Think I miss him the way the trees miss leaves during fall
And the way how the ground misses the leaves during spring.

Think I miss him the way how the sky misses the moon during the day and the way how it misses the sun during the night.

Think I miss him the way how my lips misses his, and in the way how my finger misses his skin."

And if they ask when I miss you the most:

"I think realize I miss him when the most, when days get rough, and the days when forcing a smile just isn't enough."

it's almost 1am and I'm wide awake
thinking about how i could never get you to stay,
how i could never get you to understand that you're important in every way.
thinking how did things end up this way
knowing there's no "right" thing to say
knowing though i see you everyday
things will never be the same.

and I'll forever remember our last "proper" conversation,
where you cried because of me leaving.

and I'll never know if those tears were genuine,
if you felt something tug at your heart
or you just didn't want to seem bad.
because in that moment,
all i could think about is how much i miss you,
though you were right there

because at that moment,
all i could feel was you slipping away
though you were in my arms

because at that moment
i realised, things will probably never be the same,                                  
because whatever we are, i still remember the way we were.

and I'm sorry for whatever i had done or whatever I had not done

because all i really wanted was to show you that love is actually real

wanted to show you that someone can actually care for you

wanted to make you happy,

wanted you to feel something you had never felt before

and I'm not angry, neither am i upset.
I am just confused, sad and bitter,
wishing you'd come home
wishing you would say why.

just want you to know that i miss you,
and whenever you're ready,
even if it's never
there'll still be room for us.
(h.s)