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Ellenah Jun 2014
I keep my heart locked
Behind castle walls
Unable to be touched
Unable to be hurt.
But the walls are weak
Made of straw and mud
With holes and scars lining the back
Easy to sneak through and break.
I opened the gate wide
Just for you.
And you healed my scars and holes
That I hid on the back wall
But you did something worse.
You took your Greek fire
And burned my straw walls
Taking anything left behind
And yet I sit here now
Trying to rebuild my walls
Just to open the gate
And let you back in.
Ellenah Jun 2014
Sitting here,  I wonder
Maybe we aren't so different
Maybe there is good in you
After all.

My faith it grows,
Just a drop,
But enough for me to
Escape my small shell of hatred.

But just like that
My drop evaporates
And I am stuck
Back in my shell again.
Ellenah Jun 2014
I don't feel
Your touch
Anymore.

Or hear you
Calling my name.
I love you (past tense)

I don't taste
You on my
Tongue

Or smell your
Sweet, sweet
Scent.

Because
I love you
(Past tense)

I don't see
You in my
Dreams

Or think of
You that often
Anymore

Because
I love you
(Past tense)

But sometimes
At night
I lie awake

And I feel
Your touch
On my skin

I hear
Your voice
Calling me.

I taste
You on
My tongue

I catch
A whiff of
Your scent

I think
Of you.
Just you.

And hope
I'll dream
Of you again.

Because I
Don't love you
Past tense

Still,
I love you.
(Present tense)
Ellenah Aug 2013
Walking the long path toward recovery
Sometimes I find myself dropping
Stumbling, and tripping
Into a small pit of darkness.
Simple to climb out of.

Sometimes I may need
A glorious white angel
To reach down and pull me out.
They would hold my hand
And walk the path beside me.

I gather many angels this way.
Linking hands, and pulling me to safety
Though one of them stands out above all.
He convinces me to drop the angels hands
And I do without hesitation.  

He grabs my hand tightly
Telling me he will never let go
And I believe him wholeheartedly
Not doubting in the slightest.
Not preparing for the worst.

I find myself dropping
Into the pit of darkness
And look up towards him to save me.
He chuckles darkly; lets me slip from his grasp.
And I fall.

I drop like a stone
Farther than ever before.
All of my angels gone astray
Nowhere to be found
As my screams echo so silently.

When I reach the bottom
I am silent.
I knew my silent screams would not be heard.
I am stuck with no one to save me.
Still sitting here in the pit of despair.
Ellenah Aug 2013
I’m done with the disappointment
With the heartache and tears
I’m done with the promises
Always postponed, never fulfilled

I'm finished with the "I love you"s
With the confusion between truths and sweet nothings
I’m spent with the let downs
With the excuses and "I’m sorry”s

I say I am finished with the romance
With the kisses and heartbreaks
Yet my every wish it to have such
To be wrapped in a lovers arms; to be loved

I say I am done with the disappointment
With the heartache and the tears
But I have yet to give it up
Nor do I honestly want to.

— The End —