As we sat on your couch
Early in the morning
Sun shining through the windows
Cold air creeping in
My head started to spin

You set your alarm
Hockey was waiting
Your favorite thing

I kept you next to me
For just a little bit longer
But you eventually walked downstairs
And left me to sleep

As tired as I was
I could not sleep
Your voice echoing through the silent house
My mind and heart racing
Wanting to be with you

I gave in to your call
Tucked myself behind your legs
Watched you watch your lifelong dream

I didn't expect anything
Except to be ignored
Or meerly unnoticed
For I was just a girl in your house
Not a hero on ice

You wrapped your fingers around mine
I felt your stare
Your lips pressed to my head
How did I deserve
To steal your attention?

Counting down the seconds on the screen
Time before I need to go
1:06, 1:05, 1:04
Is this what life with you is like?
What it would be if it were just us two?
0:31, 0:30, 0:29
I could stay here all day
Like you asked me to do
0:02, 0:01, 0:00
For the next few minutes
All you want is me

I tell you I need to leave
Right now? you ask
Right now. I say
You tell me I should stay

The stairs creak under my feet
The zipper on my boots resist
My fingers and the buttons fight

You stand for me
As I walk down the stairs
Morning-after royalty in the castle of her prince
Will you bow as I remove my crown?

You have never kissed me
As hard as you did
In that moment before I left

It felt as though
You were trying to shoot your soul
Through my lips instead of
Forcing your body around my tongue
So that I could only say your name

Goodbye, my seven hour valentine
The only one I've ever had
You asked at two in the morning
On February 15th
But I like to think it still counts

A little less than a year ago, you kissed me in your room
I spent the rest of the weekend freaking out because you didn't talk to me
I thought you regretted it
I thought I had done something wrong

A little less than a year later, you did more than kiss me in your bed
I spent the rest of the weekend thinking that things were fine
And then your best friend posted on Facebook
That you were searching for a girlfriend

I have no idea what you think about me
If when people ask about your love life, my face flashes in your mind
You call yourself "very single"
But if I know everything about you, including all your friends
If at the end of the night, you're the one tipping the bartender
If no matter how many girls you meet, I'm still the one you call
If you've started treating me the same when you're sober
Does the word "very" still apply?

I would agree with you--you are single
You can do whatever you want with whoever you like
Just know that it's at the expense of my heart

They say that there's always someone who cares more
I like to think that person is you
But you have nothing to lose
My heart starts to break every time you talk about another girl
I never say a word about another guy
It's only you
So maybe you do care more, but I'm the one getting hurt
Tell me, how is that fair?

I have always noticed
That while this city is filled with females
The library is filled with men
Middle-aged; average, maybe less
Sitting at computers
Afternoons
Weekdays

Today I saw them, for the hundreth time
I finally realized
These men have nowhere else to go
Some of them, maybe
But nowhere they would rather be
They're looking for jobs
To feed their families, themselves
This library is their 9-5
No qualifications necessary

I sit in the Bates Room
Surrounded by green lamps and wood tables
Books line the walls, and the gray clouds do not let the sun shine in
The image of academia, the most scholarly of steeples
A man sits across the room
In a navy hat and gray sweater
Book open in front of him
Exactly halfway through

He dozes off
Time and time again
The security guard wakes him up

People walk in and out
Taking pictures and admiring the architecture

I wonder what he's thinking