It's hard to talk on the phone
Can't quite focus on what they're saying
Stuttering and stammering for words
At loss for what to say
Then you have the words again
You say the words you mean to say
They come out sounding weak and jagged,
Meek and lame
And you feel useless in the department of speaking
Your heart beats and jumps wildly at the attention you never wanted, the attention that seems to put an untold amount of pressure and judgement upon you
You never feel like talking again, except to maybe voice an opinion someone might actually care about
You panic when someone new talks to you
Heart thumping madly to get out of your chest, telling you to get out of this situation

This is not a cold, not the flu
Not something you can get over too

How do you explain anxiety,
With out any profounaties?
Do you start with the intense urge to hide?
The overwhelming nervousness,
Worse yet followed by sickness.
Your throat begins to burn as the bile churns.
You know it's coming,
Uncontrollable,
Gone,
So you're on the floor again but how many times can you pick your self up?

Imagine paranio
Even your mother is against you
No matter what help reaches out
You believe it's all in spite
But spite of what you can not answer
To trust would be a disaster.
Walls so high most people give up,
And they wonder why you say you aren't good enough?

Then there's the depression
It cuddles these two
Like a evil little family
It could destroy you.
Sadness so deep,
It's hard to move on.
Trying to remind yourself you weren't made wrong.

Your heart beat, thats all you hear
Getting faster and faster
Your head is pounding every second that goes by
and you don't know why
Its as if someone took your sanity
and thats making you go blind
Your lungs somehow reject the oxygen that is getting put into them
Making it even harder to breathe
All you can think about is getting out
Getting out of where ever you are
and being alone
Cause when you are alone
No one can know how vulnerable you are.

In your bones, in your muscles
twitching restlessness.
That foul pit in your stomach
(oh God I'm gonna puke)
and your lungs can't keep up
and your mind races
races
races
And the real kicker
is that there's nothing
that you can do.
*nothing.