I decided that you and me
Can't be an us
You are not like me
And though, once upon a time our differences attracted each other, it united us to become one
I can't no longer live with this fact
You're the old me
Selfish, immature, dramatic, impatient, unable to love yourself
My counselor told me that we do this thing where we don't allow ourselves to see the truth until we are ready
I honestly don't know how ready I am to have days and nights without you
But I do know that I am ready for long hours of meditation, alone
For days and nights, alone
Allowing myself to grow
Allowing myself to fall, to learn
To love me, to appreciate me
I just hope that you as well grow, that the hate that you feel towards me becomes what it was before, love...
-S.A.M.M

Someday, maybe a little while from now, we'll remember why we seperated.

When you and I awoke:

Disappearing without explanation is cause for resentment.

You had me at the palm of your hand, ignored without reason

-I wondered for so long,

"What did I do?"

But no, the real thought should  have been, "what  had happened?", not whose fault it had been.

I spent so much time questioning how I had caused the end of something that quite honestly, never even was.

As I laid alone at night, questioning what I had done to push you away, I'd failed to realize that I am not the default option.

You can only exist in my fantasies,
Where there would be no boundaries.
You can only exist in my fantasies,
Where I would wait for you every night-
Shattering every despair of silent light.
You can only live in my fantasies,
Where it would be okay for me to stay-
Wrapped in your arms my love won't decay.
Because you can only live in my fantasies-
Somewhere I will be safe and protected
Knowing that I will never feel neglected.
You live in my fantasies like an ephemeral dream-
Wishing upon the stars I thought I've already seen-
The beauty of your eyes gazing into my soul
Loosing my breath it almost feels unreal-
To think that you only live in my fantasies
This place that I can mold and fix-
Every single tear and broken script
In this world of mine I can pretend I am not alone-
I can pretend that you're here with me
Because I am scared to open my eyes to this cold reality-
Where souls like me can't feel no more sympathy
In those fantasies of mine I will hurt myself
Over and over again I am becoming hopeless
To find the strength inside of me to let you see-
That without this world of fantasies-
I have no secure place to be the real me.

Remember me
-
Remember me from the days we first met
The days where we would talk for hours on end
Talk about nothing
But at the same time it was something
Those words still echo in my head
They still play on this horrible loop
This loop that seems to never end
Maybe i don't want it to never end
If it ends then that means i've moved on
I can't move on
What if you come back
Come back and make everything okay
Thing will never be okay again
Will they?
How could they?
We are both so broken from this
This what was this?
There was nothing
Nothing but empty promise
Promises that will never come true
Promise that you made that kept me hanging on
Now they just keep up all night
They keep me from sleeping
All i do when i sleep is dream about you
Chasing you but never getting you
Maybe i never actually had you
Maybe that was always your plan
To get me hooked to you like a drug
Than leave me begging for you
Because once i laid my eyes upon you
I was hooked
I knew it
I was in too deep
Swallowed by all your i love you’s and you're beautiful’s
All the stupid things
That made me fall for you
Now leave me shattered
Alone
Picking up my own pieces
Broken and shattered
So please just remember me
Remember me as that girl you fell in love with
Fell in love with that lived a thousand miles away
But she still would have given the world to be with you
If that would have made you stay
So don't remember as the girl who begs you to come back
Begs you to come back in tears
Sends you long messages about how much she misses you
Remember me as that girl you loved and thought was beautiful.

when u look at your own reflection. what do u really see. a mistake or a broken record that just skips on the needle going round and round. what thoughts play into action when u think u see whats really not there. the dark thoughts that linger around your sleepless nights laying awake. laying in bed all night awake wondering if every time u look at your reflection what might be next with the darkness in your thoughts. what do you say when you go a whole day silent just pondering.  every time u see your refection  what do u see to accept what natural beauty you have of your self all along.

life is a play,
   and when the curtain falls

well,
      youre dead.