I'd let you slice open my veins because I know you'd stitch them up.

Dear You,

It was March 22, 2013. It was a cold, wet day and I decided that rather that risk frostbite I would go online, maybe go on twitter, check some stuff, little did I know this was the day you would tell me it was all over, that after 12 years. 12 YEARS. That is 144 months, 4383 days, and a **** ton of hours and minutes. That there would be 1 paragraph, 6 ******* sentences telling me it was all over, you were leaving me to fend for my self in this dark cruel world.

You said that you were just a concept, an idea, I was strong enough to carry on without you,... Well I call *******!

Cause you were there for me when no one else was, you got me, you understood how much society freaking ***** and you kept me strong.

Maybe I do scare the living **** out of you, maybe you just stopped caring...

You tell me to “look alive, sunshine” But how can I look alive when you leaving left me so dead inside?

Yet, I still hold on to the hope that some day you will come back to join us in the black parade, and lead this army of killjoys.

Until then, however, I am not okay (I promise)

sometimes i go off
about these worlds
that i make up
in my head.

because when the world
is so messed up,
don't you
want another?

i spend
so much time
just living
in these worlds,
     just thinking.

about
trivial things

     like:
how come clouds
get to be so high
that it's like they're flying,
when all they do is bring rain?

     or:
why do we spend
so much time
obsessing over the fact
that we don't have much time at all?

but i think
that maybe
in these worlds i make up,
it's not so bad.

sure,
there are bad guys
but when are there not?

the thing is,
in my world,
i'm not one of those
bad guys.

i'm the one
with the cape
and the mask
and i am the one
     who saves the day.

the mirror
divides where
the partition begins
between broken and free

i touch the glass
it imitates me
copies my every move
i must be confused

i touch the glass again
it still imitates me
showing the contour lines
of my every ****** expression
but then its gone
i must be very confused

i look hard into the glass
i see my face
i look harder
but this time its different

i first see my flaws
my imperfect perfections
what makes me whole
why should i look like a brainless doll?

i look harder once more
into the glass
and i see something
far more different

i see the girl
with the piercing
dark grey eyes
who has everything in
her life just sorted out

but then i see
the girl
with dark black
holes in her sockets
instead of eyes

this girl has
many marks on her body
signifying how many times
she has been hurting

i see a marking
on her forehead
it says LOST
it then begins to
cut a wound
into her scull

i try to forget
all these disturbing images
i have seen in this mirror
forgive and forget

hasn't it always been about forgiving and forgetting?

i'm not sure i want to forget anymore.

i want to remember.

i turn back
and look at the girl
with the deep dark eyes
i then see her mouth move

who are you?

(b.d.s.)

I sometimes stand alone and stare
at time worn face and wayward hair
that frames green eyes with brightest red 
and do not recognise myself

Where is the girl that once belonged
to laughter, dancing, love and song
who always saw with lovers eyes
and sugar coated all her lies

She lingers somewhere far from here
a memory vague to those held dear
too long she has been kept apart
from you, the captor of her heart.

I look in the mirror
And all I see now are
Black holes threatening to
Swallow my red-rimmed eyes.

I never moved with grace
But my body tremors
More than it ever did,
Thinking of unseen fears.

I reach with my fingers
Towards my old reflection
To discover the tips
Are now cracked and bleeding.

Hollow shell, hollow shell.
I am losing myself.
Every step that I take
Destroys my sanity.