He's staring at me with his little black eyes,
trying to see all that he can see.
Why can't we live in the same place,
you've given me love,
you've given me shelter,
you've fed me well,
why can't we be together?
Why am I blue when you are white,
you look like my mother her eyes were cold as ice.
Her eyes were cold as ice, but inside she had melted,
her warmth left me filled with hope when we were forcibly parted.
It is dark in this room but we sit and we stare we see each other,
looks don't matter,
so why can't we be together?

I reply to those eyes, "you and me, Little Blue, you and me forever."

*** in the City*
and pepperoni slices
are my company.

How can I sleep
when her absence
has it's fingers
gripped tightly
around my throat
and my patience
has slipped away
with my last breath
and my words can't
make her stay? My
eyes refuse to close
until they see her
by my side hand in
hand with no
distractions her voice
ringing in my ears
and my heart
radiating with joy.

One look and her
******* eye pierces
me straight through the heart
in one blow the blood
rushes through me
I feel my knees giving
in and I fall
to the ground
I kiss the ground
she walked on
I breathe the air
she breathed
but that's as much of her
as i'll ever receive.
She will never be mine.
Not completely.

Honestly,
this feeling is so overwhelming.
I can do nothing to make this ache subside.
There is a hollow feeling within these bones,
and I know the only way to make it go is to be close to you.
We both know that is not possible, as you see me as a friend and I see you as a lover.

My clothing brushes softly against my skin
as the pole grows warm under my tight grip
I look to you to see if you approve
your eyes show you do my shirt starts to move,
down it goes falling off one shoulder then the next
my lace exposed your lips twitch with fear
but my face becomes soft and your excitement comes to play
in my six inch heels and my fishnets, I am the display.

I was so warm when I was with you,
you surrounded me with light,
you helped me find happiness in the rotting cracks,
I found love between the pages of books with you,
it's all burned away now.

Five days from now
we will be together
sitting in a dark room
spotlight shining from behind
listening to another poet's rhyme
maybe some sparks will fly.

I am completely in love
and I cannot get myself out of love.

It is like I am swimming in a pool of Jell-O,
floating, no effort,
but stuck, never moving,
forever and ever and ever.

My ears are bleeding
in the best way possible.
My soul is flying.

It's on the tip of my tongue,
a chilling breeze whipping my face
that lets me feel every ounce of blood in my veins.
It's the feeling that I could jump and fall through
the air when really I'd just hit the ground
that my feet never found the courage to leave.
It's the place hidden beneath the darkest part of
my very soul that, when touched, makes me
feel alive, no bleeding necessary,
just breathing in, breathing out.
It's standing on a broken sidewalk in the
middle of a grey city, people rushing  by,
and my body is stationary, my legs
molded to cement like weeds pushing
through the cracks because when you
think about it we are not just breathing in
the air, we are breathing in the sky,
constellations filling my lungs, I throw
my head back and laugh them out
again with joy.  I'll take your hand and
you'll take mine.  Together we'll walk
toward the sun until we make it to the
end of the earth and grow ignorant
to the passing of time.

Warmth and light rushes
through me. I think you are near.
It is but the sun.

Every passing second
makes me miss you
more and more.

Every passing second
makes me love you
more and more.

Rumor has it
I was wrong,
it was me who ****** up,
you were right all along.

I couldn't help it though,
you should've known,
those words weren't from me,
I was lost and alone.

I cried no tears,
they wouldn't come out,
just shook and screamed,
did you hear me shout?

I know it's too late
for you to want to understand,
but maybe in the future
you'll take back my hand.

What am I feeling? I can't do this.
I can't.
Everyone is right. What am I doing?
I feel empty.

I won't be able to sleep tonight.

My black tulip kept me up all night.
     Her eyes were in the back of my head
     Her lips were on the tip of my tongue.
     If only she'd been in my bed, she'd know how much I'd hate to run.

I cut out my own heart
It's bleed...

Heart pounding,
blood pumping,
muscles tense,
It's gonna beat right out of my empty chest.

Tears pouring,
eyes burning,
lashes fall,
did you ever really care at all?

Mind racing,
head aching,
jaws tight,
when you left you took all of my light.

Body shaking,
hands quaking,
arms outstretched,
thinking you'll come back is so far-fetched.

Tonight I looked up
and searched for you in the sky
hoping to find you looking down on me
while you slept with sadness dancing behind your eyes.
Tonight I found you way up high
reflecting the sun's light into darkness
I found comfort watching you shine.
Tonight I saw each crater etched into your skin
you didn't try to hide them
you let all of my love in.
Tonight I faced my fears
and I let each one of them go
as your glowing surface uncovered my path
and I found my way home.

Another poet's words slammed into our faces,
crushing our bones with truths held like fire,
a burn on the hand but worth every sting,
running in circles from thoughts we can't speak of,
knowing what the other is feeling,
why can't I hold you when inside you're weeping?

We connect, you can't deny it,
arms brushing one against the other,
heat surging rebuilding shattered ribs,
sewing my lungs back in,
allowing me to breathe again.

Reverberating words from raw poetry in our heads,
I  can see it in your face, the relevance they had,
you lie falling next to me, I know they're still there,
why are you letting her get you down when you know i'm right here?

Dreams overtake you, dead asleep in the night,
the darkness can't consume all of your light,
you're safe with me as we loll asleep,
my fingers laced in your hair to wake you from dreaming.

Don't leave me now,
your scent lingers in the air,
i'll stay cuddled in this blanket forever,
i'll pretend that you're there.

The echo of your words keeps me warm in my slumber,
like the poems we silently cried together over.

You don't need to be
the brightest star in the sky
to be someone, my dear.

Everything you do in life
will matter, please don't fear.

The love you share,
the words you say,
the dresses that you make,

a smile on his face,
a laugh from her lips,
the confidence gained
from the dress that fits.

You don't have to be
the brightest star in the sky
to be someone, my dear.

Every breath you take,
every word, every stitch,
every step you make,

effects another,
one change at a time,
making you somebody,
stitching together you.

I drowned my pages in letters and words,
under trees found behind museums hidden in parks,
near rocks, under stars that were hidden by daylight,
in a touch shared by lovers holding hands in sight,
through flower gardens and wings of birds taking flight.

I drowned my pages in letters and words,
in sleepless nights and twisted lullabies,
on strangers faces as they stroll down the street,
crunched up and thrown out on old receipts,
under the blazing sun in the summer heat.

And so New York made me a coffee drinker,
so that I wouldn't miss a step,
looking for letters and words to drown my pages in,
losing sleep from thoughts that need to be written,
over people who have hurt me and need to be forgotten,
and others who are loving and always have been genuine.

Walking into a familiar shop,
I had seen it before in other dreams,
a little old lady smiled at me.

I said I was just looking,
she said it was fine,
didn't notice a wicked gleam in
her eye.

I looked at the bag
I had looked at before,
the price was the same,
it was too much, I swore.

I looked back to my left,
and over my shoulder,
glanced at some pictures
that were not much older.

Wait. A closer look.
Each one. One after the
other after the other after the other.
A sea of photos of a strawberry blonde.

Bathing suits and beaches,
dresses and weddings,
ponytails and pigtails,
over and over and over.

Three years old,
four years old, five, seven, ten.
Where the **** did she get them?

Sweat beading on my body,
though I'm still in shock,
I fall back from the wall,
was this done just to mock?

I look over at her,
that wicked old one,
who looked so nice and sweet before
all of this ****.

I looked at her and through
those ******* messed up
eyes I only saw him.

'Where did you get them? Where? How?'
'Where did you get them? Tell me.'
'WHERE THE **** DID YOU GET THEM? TELL ME NOW'

Body lost control. I'm on the floor.
Curled in a ball. The numb returns.
I am sobbing uncontrollably, heaving.
I cannot breathe. I cannot feel.

'Where did you get them? Where did you get them?' 'Where did you get them?'

I'm chanting to myself.

Again I cannot move, I have been there before,
away from the one who ****** me up,
those eyes are always ******* in my mind.

I look up to see my mom looking through the door,
her brow furrowed,
she knows she can do no more.

No more because they won.
No more because it's over.
No more no more no more.

I never got my answers,
They're always looking back,
those wicked smiles and evil eyes.
Those demons in my safe haven.
No more no more no more.

*Where did you get them?

I want to go home
but today home walked away.

I feel myself slipping away,
seeping into the cracks of your soul,
you're taking all that I have left,
but with no intention to remain.
A dangerous game I feel we're playing,
knowing I want to be your lover,
only allowing me to be your friend,
this won't last as i'm losing myself,
you'll take it all and look for more,
but nothing will be left,
and you'll leave me in the end.

May the beauty of the Earth
remain in my eyes.

My lovely, new friends
are so supportive. Without
them I'd be nowhere.

That's you out there,
completely exposed,
lying sprawled across the double yellow line,
trying to keep it all together,
but you've already lost control,
your eyes are empty,
they lost their light,
I can see the dismay,
what are you doing to fill the void?
The cars may come,
their lights will shine,
they won't stop to help,
they won't see you,
it's too dark and so are you,
their tires will crush your body,
you won't be able to take the weight
and then you will be nothing.
You can't just lie there hoping it will change,
get up, move,
it's your life,
don't let it waste away.

Though in my life she
ceases to exist, my heart
beats for only hers.

thank you for staying,
you mean the world to me,
i'll tell you everyday,
as long as you know,
it doesn't matter if you feel the same,
you'll win it all,
you may sometimes fall,
but you'll end up on top,
you were made to change world,
you were made to change it all.
all my faith is in you,
your beauty is crystal clear,
when you talk about the stars,
i can see the universe being held in your two hands.
you have all of these plans,
the good in you radiates,
your soul is pure,
your love, real,
i've not met someone like you,
you are most definitely one of a kind.

You stopped talking to me.
....no, really talking.
Where are you?
        Where did you go?
How could you leave
         without actually leaving me?