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dth Apr 2016
i've always been wondering why did i attract the most broken people
but it wasn't until i met you

you were never the prince on a white horse
but as the time goes on, every imperfection of yours becomes a clarity for me
and i cling to your beautiful mess of a flaw like my life depends on it

i want to mend the crippled parts within you
but you're the one who fixed me instead
i want to save you from the surging sadness
but you're the one who saved me instead

we're the broken pieces in the land of misfit toys
the misfits among the misfits
but we fit each other perfectly, pieces by pieces
dth Apr 2016
all this time,
i could never imagine that
this day would eventually come.

the day when someone would actually make me a priority.
the day when someone would actually be willing to stay awake for me.
the day when someone would actually be willing to take risks for me.
the day when someone would actually look at me dead in the eye and tell me that i'm beautiful.
the day when i could actually feel that i'm being loved unconditionally.
the day when i could actually bare myself until the very last fragment; until the deepest, darkest piece of me.

all hell breaks loose when you and i found each other.
dth Apr 2016
Cinta bukan melulu soal siapa yang lebih dulu. Yang telah lama singgah bisa jadi sama rapuhnya dengan yang sekedar lalu-lalang.

Cinta bukan melulu soal detak jantung yang berdegup kencang, bukan melulu soal pupil yang melebar. Yang telah kehilangan nafasnya bisa jadi yang semenjak dahulu telah menyimpan asa.

Cinta bukan melulu soal hukum tawar-menawar. Saat sudah kehabisan apa yang ditawarkan, terkadang cinta dengan naifnya tetap menyambut dengan tangan terbuka. Persetan dengan hukum ekonomi, yang memberi kurang bisa jadi telah memberi seluruh yang mereka miliki.

Cinta bukan melulu soal mengabaikan ketidaksempurnaan. Justru cinta menerima seutuhnya, segala kesempurnaan maupun ketidaksempurnaan. Setiap gores dan luka, bukalah mata dan terimalah mereka dengan utuh. Yang terlihat baik bisa jadi membuatmu menutup mata atas keburukan mereka.

Cinta bukan melulu soal apa yang terlihat, karena bisa jadi indera kita dibuatnya luluh lantak di hadapannya.
“Tak ada cinta yang muncul mendadak, karena dia anak kebudayaan, bukan batu dari langit.”
—Pramoedya Ananta Toer,
'Bumi Manusia'
dth Mar 2016
Some say she’s a maverick. She refuses to play by the rule, she’d rather create her own rule. Not that much of a rebel, just a bit free-spirited by heart.

Some say she’s a square peg in a round hole. A black dress amidst a wedding party. Ripped jeans among trousers. A pair of sneakers among pairs of high heels. A cup of tequila between white wines. But really, she’s only a misfit. She has always been one. An unorthodox individual living in a world where people must be the same in order to be freed of scrutiny. She isn’t afraid to cross the line of conformity. Even ever since she was little, she has always frowned upon the game of pretentious act that people around her have been playing. She often finds herself in question, for she is non-adhering to the idea of being a sheep flocking to the herd.

Some say she’s the epitome of late night shots taken by the distressed. Not as the last, desperate resort, but as the first aid.

Some say she’s the embodiment of the bitter aftertaste when you sip a cup of coffee that you got from a store stood on the roadside during your impromptu midnight road trip. She shows up by chance, looking plain as ever. But really, she’s a mild surprise once she gets her way into you. One that you might not expect.

Some say she’s a thorn wire disguised in vineyard. It isn’t quite easy to strip away of her self-defense. But once she’s provoked, she’s provoked.

Some say she’s a train wreck. And boy, weren’t they right. Her life might be a mess, but it is one hell of a beautiful mess she’s proudly living. If anything, she has mastered the art of living in perpetual, concomitant tragedies.

Some say she’s more of a goodbye than a hello. A bittersweet memory than a sugarcoated present. She’s never one of a dreamer, but she puts her hopes in the beauty of imperfections – of the feeling of loss. Experience has taught her not to make people her happiness, for they are but a fleeting moment of enchantment.
dth Nov 2015
don't tell me how to love.

not today, not now, not tomorrow, not ever. no, never.

show me.
dth Aug 2015
black is achromatic, neutral, having no hue.
black is the color of void, the very epitome of nothingness - the absence of entity.
black is the symbol of uncleanness and impurities.

it is non-deity.
it is the only color that could perfectly capture our existence, for we are the mortals, we are the sinners.

without lights, darkness would still remain.
but without darkness, lights' significance would cease to exist.
  Mar 2015 dth
Moksha
You are vile, cruel to women and callous,
This is not my country...this is not my home.


Your men fight battles over themselves
Cowards who wag tails for authority
and are not ashamed to beat up the weak
This is not my country...this is not my home

You who have silenced so many
On the topic of ****, ****** harassment and other crimes

You who have given me no choice as a woman
but to cleave my way through your vile judgments

Your insolence is all I can see, and I don't wish to return

I don't wish to be loyal to one who cannot hold any respect


For me or my fellow women


this is not my country.


this is not my home.
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