Jeanette: Favorites

Sep 2015 Jeanette

Depression

Sep 2015 Jeanette

Jax levii

Depression is a war
A battle against yourself,
Every thought is a bullet,
Every movement is a punch.
Every word is a stab in the heart,
Depression is a thief
It steals everything you once had
Everything left behind is the things
that keep you trapped
Depression is a ******
It killed the boy I use to be
I look in the mirror,
And I see this thing
Depression is a zombie.
You aren't alive but you're alive
But you're unaware of what's happening
You're the walking dead
Depression is a nightmare
You wake up into hell
You're afraid of living.
Everything seems impossible to bear.
Depression is an ocean.
A sea of emotions
You're drowning everyday
However you're never saved
Depression is a bottomless pit.
Never ending pain,
Never ending struggles
There is no light
There is no escape
depression is a war.
A constant battles within
Yourself
I think I might surrender for I had enough
Depression is a war
You either win
Or you die trying
And I'm afraid to say I'm losing..

Sep 2015 Jeanette

First Poem for You

Sep 2015 Jeanette

Mike Essig

First Poem for You

By Kim Addonizio*

I like to touch your tattoos in complete

darkness, when I can’t see them. I’m sure of

where they are, know by heart the neat

lines of lightning pulsing just above

your ******, can find, as if by instinct, the blue

swirls of water on your shoulder where a serpent

twists, facing a dragon. When I pull you

to me, taking you until we’re spent

and quiet on the sheets, I love to kiss

the pictures in your skin. They’ll last until

you’re seared to ashes; whatever persists

or turns to pain between us, they will still

be there. Such permanence is terrifying.

So I touch them in the dark; but touch them, trying.

Aug 2015 Jeanette

more high poetry

Aug 2015 Jeanette

Sea

more high poetry

Under the identical night sky as yours,
I fill my lungs with the sweet smoke,
knowing you're doing the same thing
miles away.
you, the need to fit in,
me, wishing to forget my sins
you, a sense of belonging with your friends,
me, alone, wondering who I became.

through the haze, I see your face.

Aug 2015 Jeanette

Beds of Asphalt

Aug 2015 Jeanette

Steele

Beds of Asphalt

Shall we lie upon an aching bed,
and speak of gentler things?
The sheets are rough on calloused hands,
broken from the onus of strangling, stifling rings.
The pillows feel like granite tombstones,
and though your cries are loud and low,
I feel us drifting apart together.
In this bed of dirt, we are alone.

#pain #alone #bed #isolation #connection #separate

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Hopeless

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Turn Off The Lights

Hopeless

There are memories between those walls
Places I put my head on your chest
My hand engulfed in yours
It may be stupid but I thought
For a while...
Maybe.

Jul 2015 Jeanette

you are how you are

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Julia Elise

you are how you are

you are not the clothes you wear
but you are how you wear them

you are not the words you say
but you are how you say them

you are not the way you look
but you are how you look at other people

you are not the person you're with
but you are how you work with them

you are not the lies told about you
but you are how you respond to them

you are not your bad decisions
but you are how you deal with them

you are not your friends
but you are how you treat them

you are not anything...
but you are how you are.

#self #yourself #you

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Wings that didn't really care

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Ambient Destruction

Wings that didn't really care

Land of unfollowed dreams
Memories that warn "Better not call us"
"We'll call you"
Never did
Had red string mittens as a kid
Thought they'd be mine forever
Lost them anyway
"Come find me"
Thought I did
"Don't blink"
She said
Life will **** you in your sleep
Tears are only water
And blood is only red
Good looking out
You're only dead
Fishhooks once got buried in my heart
And now I'm afraid to breathe
To pull them out
They'll only dig deep
If tragedy breathes hope
Then hope is the last thing I need
Rumor has it gravity is sometimes broken
So I'm stuck here waiting for
Other people
Including you
To free-float off this planet
See I once kissed this girl and regretted
Nothing as I fell upwards to my doom
Still remember how
Her silky hair blossoms like newborn spring
And since then
Every flower smells exactly the same
Needed you
Couldn't admit to
You left the cage door open when you
Got up and left
But I don't go outside anymore
Threw my favorite ball
And it never came back
A defining moment was when
You suggested we should have shots
And then you shot me dead
I'd draw lines in the sand
You'd draw circles in the sky
And I'd mistakingly try to walk on air
Just to catch up
I'm creative that way
In pretending
Thought I had wings like you
But they weren't really there.

#love #heartbreak #gravity #life #lost #wings

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Getting Drunk in a Church

Jul 2015 Jeanette

TDN

Getting Drunk in a Church

I fell asleep against
the stained glass that painted
the ground with colors that
children only see through
the lenses of kaleidoscopes;
vividness that blind men
only see when holding the
warm hands of their lovers.

I woke up to the bells
singing tunes of the eschaton
and the priest muttering
damnation upon the half-empty
bottle of Jim Beam resting in my lap.

"Want a swig?" I asked with a stagger.
"No," he replied. "Whiskey is the devil's elixir

and besides,
there are plenty a bottle of Christ's blood behind the altar from which to choose."

Jul 2015 Jeanette

Shadow Puppets

Jul 2015 Jeanette

TDN

Shadow Puppets

In the waiting room,
I watched two little boys
play with shadow puppets.
They transformed their hands
into figments of imagination
under the ghostly sterile lights
as doors swung wide
and gurneys and white coats
escorted the suffering
into rooms dressed with
pleasant paintings of peaceful woods -
placed on wall that have seen
far too many flat lines;
windows that have heard
far too many last words.