the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

I can see you
inside the closet
as I watch you from
under the covers
your eyes peak out
through the darkness
hiding
and I can tell you know I'm
scared
I know you're
there
I can see you

(now read up)

I didn't want you,
I wanted love
and I have realised
that they are not the same thing.

You were a mould
that I poured my insecurities in,
a computer I tried to program.

But you are a sky,
stormy and clear and rainy and warm.

You were so blue when I longed for red.

I didn't want you.
I wanted the thought.

The smile you offered me as a parting gift is still growing wider and wider in my heart.

as i reached
and stroked your hair
untangling the knots
watching you stir
eyes closed
lips parting slightly
i realized how comfortable
silence was for us
how a caress to your skin
agitated my heart
and i think i've grown used
to loving you like this
loving you in silence