I was going to write a poem
about how I stood on the corner after
work, gripping a squishy handlebar with
my left hand and holding K’s flip phone
in the other.
My stomach flip-flopped across JFK blvd, down 20th street, and to that little alleyway where I stood alone for a while.
An old lady stared at me...
did I trigger a happy memory of her
youth,
or was she just smirking at the beads of
sweat on my forehead and disintegrating
soles of my ballet flats?
My black dress slouched over my body
like I was going to a funeral.
And even though my acro class was yesterday, I still felt upside down. There’s no way I could stay in a handstand that long, but I would’ve done it if it gave me a different explanation for why I was so sick.
Inside of me were those cropping rainbow scribbles that I used to make on Paint, you know, the ones that seemed like they could create a picture but ended up turning into shaking lines?
I could feel the lack of your presence, I could FEEL your not being there. As the minutes passed and I kept standing and waiting my face drooped and it was hard not to cry right there on the spot.
It was just past lunchtime but there was still a steady flow of businessmen filling the sidewalk.
They glanced at me but I just looked
away because they were my father's age
and gave me familiar half-smiles.
I said that I was going to write a poem because I didn't have enough energy to do anything but list words,
but I guess this just turned into a ******
one.