Maybe I should just stop this
Hours on end, waiting
Everytime I tell myself to stop
You come back to life in vivid detail
Every smile from your lips
Every glorious moment of your laughter
All the joy, all the love, all the pain
Comes back
Open doors lead to dead ends
So maybe I should just stop this

To: R

I want you to know that the way I feel for you is too great to be able to put in words

I want you to know that what you are to me is far more than just a love
No, you're more than that

I want you to know that I'm drowning in a pool of emotions, and it's all for you, only you, always you

I want you in my life
It's just that maybe somehow you don't see that

And that's okay

Maybe it's just that life is always in the way and there's no way in hell that I can be as important to you as your everyday life

And no, I don't blame you

I don't blame you that each time I reach out to you, you don't notice me the way that I think you will

I don't blame you that when I talk to you, you ignore the fact that I want more than just a simple hello maybe because you don't see me the same as everyone else

I don't blame you that you don't return my calls, nor that your only excuse everytime is that you're busy

I don't blame you for being independent

I don't blame you for having a life

I don't blame you for not seeing me as a first option

I don't blame you for your lack of interest sometimes, hell I don't blame you for your lack of attention

I don't blame you for the way you make me feel when we see each other

I don't blame you for the times that when our eyes meet, I come undone

I don't blame you for having me on a pedestal, a travesty for everyone to see

I don't blame you for keeping me up at night, just wondering what the hell you could possibly be doing

I don't blame you for making me have these thoughts

I don't blame you for the anchors in my chest

I don't blame you for the times I doubted what would become of this

I don't blame you for making me hope

I don't blame you for this letter

I don't blame you for these tears

I don't blame you for making me feel this way

I don't blame you for making me fall

No, I don't blame you for anything

This is my fault from the beginning

I knew you'd be something special, it's just that maybe you see the world in a different light

See, I want you in my life so bad, but  it just can't be so

I just wanted you to know that I can't have you, and this is all my fault

I love you

I have to give up on you, so this is goodbye

When we were children
We learned to fight
Fight the monsters
Under our bed
But how do you fight
How do you fight
The monsters in your head

Lock me up
Throw away the key
Walk away
Maybe then will you understand
How much I'm willing
To wait for you

You **** me in different ways
But I'd still choose you
Because you break my heart like no one else does