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  May 2016 Star Gazer
summer
I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,
it started like a dream,
a girl like you,
confident and willing to talk to me,
despite my looks and my thoughts about myself,
i remember the days we spent,
sitting and talking,
laughing and smiling,
talking about art,
about flowers,
about our different taste in music,
it's okay because i wanted to be near you,
i wanted you to know me,
like me,
but then things changed,
you changed,
your jokes began to get more real,
too painful for me to bear,
i started to get upset,
feel things i never felt before,
you,
you shouldn't be having this effect in me,
you,
i love you,
a little too late for that,
a little too late for everything,
you moved on,
did i mean anything to you?
did you love me?
the way i loved you,
did you feel the same?

i guess not,
you moved on,
as if i was nothing but a chapter,
in your book,
i tried,
i tried to move on,
soo badly i wanted something more,
than to feel this craving for you,
and to know,
i couldn't have you,
i tried to listen,
to the other girls,
tried to take my mind away from you,
but it always,
always came back to
you,

i heard them,
but i wasn't listening,
all i could really hear,
was your voice,
and the last thing you said to me,
sorry,
a stupid little word,
sorry,
i ****** up,
sorry,
i wasn't enough,
sorry,
you had to leave,

what's the point anymore,
of anything,
of caring for you,
only to have you use me,
what's the point,
on wanting love again,
wanting someone else,
for them to do the same thing,
find someone better,
leave me,
without telling me,
and break my heart,

yes,
you broke my heart,
yes,
it will take a while,
yes,
i still think about you,
yes,
this is all too painful,

i message you,
i waited and waited,
for your reply,
my eager little heart,
thinking maybe you will say something else,
but no,
all you said was sorry,
i thought that maybe,
i would feel something from it,
feel closure,
let it go,
but it didn't,
these feeling won't go away,
and i need them to go away,
please,
can you just,
go away,

I knew i shouldn't have gotten close,
shouldn't have risked everything,
to make you happy,
to be there for you,
only to have you hurt me,
i wrote this poem on request from a friend. he was going through heartbreak. we share the same story, the same pain, the same ache and desire for the person who left us. i thought i would help him get it out of his system, so i wrote him this poem. but i didn't think it would have a huge effect on me. but it did. so here it is, our shared heartbreak story.
  May 2016 Star Gazer
Julia Mae
96.
the patterns i traced along your back
the warmth i found within your hair
the security i felt within your hands
the laughter i stole from your smiles
the dreams i searched inside of your eyes
and all of the words i clutched closely to my chest

i simply love you -
what more can suffice?
  May 2016 Star Gazer
AM
for me, you are
the brightest star
I've been wishing upon
to fall
  May 2016 Star Gazer
Adrian Alberts
And in the night
We danced among the dead
Our feet moved swift
The strike of a match on its head
The Earth, black with dew
Whistled for me and you

We drank under the moonlight,
Velvet and pearl
And put ourselves to rest
Upon engravings of the past

Death never felt closer
And as we woke in the birth of dawn
Our passions were remembered
By the traits of the moist cement
That so generously scuffed our skin
Star Gazer May 2016
Meeting you...

*It was like learning to ride a bike
Without the comfort of training wheels
And
It was like learning to swim
Without the dangers of water
I will carry it through the rest of my life.
Star Gazer May 2016
There she was with a smile
And though the scent of
Sadness lingered amongst me
Things were alright for a while.

And alright is more than I deserve...
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