Alternate persona
Smart for someone
"Spitting Fire"
But can't even light a match

Swipe
Swipe
Snap

Your chance just broke
An unfufulling fire
To couple with your unfufulling verse

If a battle of blades you desire
Then don't worry about your precious little knife
It won't be dented as it will never touch mine
My sword will split you
Head to toe

Let me build up some lyrical ammo
Throw on some camo
I'll lyrical burry you in snow
In the spring food for crow
Just, so you know

Ain't no "bandersnatch" gonna scare this country kid away
I'll take your mythical mut
Hunt it
**** it
Gut it
Deep-fry it
Serve with some pork gravy
And a some iced tea

So maybe you should call off your dog
Before it ends up on the dinning room table with my family saying our pre dinner prayers to God.

Poetfreak was my first poetry home
Skill and pants optional

It brought me in and introduced me
To possibilities.

Ones that I alone contained,

But it was not hard to try.
In every post was people giving affirmation,
In every clever prose there was a wave
If encouragement and advice.

Then the cruelty of someone who loves destroying a community corrupted my home.

It broke down rules,
It took over people's profiles.

Ultimately it shut us down.

It's not the same here.

It's not that HP is bad,
It's just not home.

I feel like I'm on an awkward first date
During our first dance
And I'm being held at arm's length.
Even though I'm trying to get closer.

I just want to be closer.
I want this to be a new home.

I've been here long enough to wonder if that's possible.

When the waters of a rising ocean quench the fires of a burning society maybe people will believe in the science that could have prevented it all.

I'm not a gentlemen I'm a thief.

Just ask my beloved
She knows how it is,

At a young age I courted her,
I pursued her,

I told her how her eyes were the full moon
Glistening  in the night
Full of mystery and curiosity.

I convinced her that her voice was smoother than fresh honey,
And sweeter than any sugar candy.

I breathed into her the fact that
I, am in Love with her.

But I didn't do this as a gentleman.

Nay.

I did this as a theif.

My goal was not to get her heart but to steal it instead,

No heart should be freely given but instead stile away by a craftsmen worthy of stealing it.

So I stole the world's most pressious gem,

I tossed her into the get away car with
Campbell's soup cans tied to the back of it
Neat handwriting spelling
J-U-S-T M-A-R-R-E-I-D

We raced across the streets hair billowing in the wind and smiles and hands held together
So that no one else may steal either of us.

So no,
Sonnet number 23 beauty is you
Written by me
Is not the act of a gentleman,

It is the act of a thief
But one that will never steal again.

Sifting threw my numerous papers of
Stuff to learn
AP biology with the synapse of the nerve cell
And the phosphorylation of
Well
Something.

I numbly flicker threw these pages
Resigned deep within myself to a deep and dark and silent place.
Full of self doubt
Inadequacy
Failure

So much to do with so little will
But my mind is off ---

Never mind.
This poem isn't very good
The meter ***** and the allusions don't allude.
I'm better off just going to sleep
Laying their to miserable to weep

My mind will drift away across the waves
Of a far off lake
A while back

When all I had to worry about
Was what to have for a snack
But crap.

I'll never know those days again
I'll never be able to easily pick up a pen
To write my auto biography
Of the ups and downs I guess the topography
Of my life.

I'm bleeding my sorrows into the paper
But in reality I don't bleed

I'm instead sitting here on bended knee to plead

God don't let my life be known as a pesky ****

Give me some confidence so that I might lead

A life respectable to help those in need

With their suffering and pain
Lord lift me from my pit
Of despair and show me the smell of clean air
Put my feed under me and say "Go"

Little child, my love so sweet
Rest your head and go to sleep

In the morn I'll be there
Rest your head and not a care

I love you sweet child of mine
I love you sweet child of mine

Little child, my love so sweet
Peaceful dreams and go to sleep

Tomorrow's a new day for you to see
Sleep now for new energy

I love you sweet child of mine
I love you sweet child of mine

(Repeat)

My thoughts are a canvas painted in spray paint along a rundown subway.

I look back on my nearly twenty years of life and I'm amazed

At how much I've done.
How much I haven't.
How much I should or shouldn't have done.

I see my deep past,
The part of me I earnestly tell people
At three in the morning.

I see school days flickering by
Like an old school flip book that measured My life.

As the pages flicker by
A clear picture becomes evident:

Where one is not enough,
Many together can overcome.

My friends as life would so have it
We are getting pulled to different parts of the world.
Some of us may thrive,

Others may fall,

It is up to us to hold together;

If one can not overcome, many together can.

For a long while I held myself together
Nobody got anything from me

My opinion was mine alone

My ideas were self contained

My words rarely left my lips

My heart most definently was locked away

One day you came along
My first mistake was telling you what I thought of you
My next was what I wanted to do
Worse yet were the three words "I love you"

It took you years to make me truly ***** up though
One day I messed it all up and finnaly delivered my whole heart to you

You gladly took it in two hands
Looked up to me and smiled
That's when you tossed it over my head
You ran and caught it

I stamped my foot and told you no
You threw it back again

I started to have fear

You tore my heart in three
Started juggling with me

I cried and pleaded no
But you wouldent let me go

Eventually you got bored

Tore my heart to confetti
And showered it on me

I feel knees to the floor
I gathered what was once at my core

I looked to God and threw what was left of my heart

What came down was whole and pure
No longer was I broken
No longer must I fear

I can live threw anything
My God is hear

My heart I hold in my hands,
I cup it and hide it,
Only very few can see

Occasionally I give someone a piece
The first one left it on the ground,
It took up to much space for someone else's,
Tunes our he did the same to her

The second one I handed out,
Hoping not to be buned
She amounted quite a mass
Before she spoiled and threw it all in the trash

Now I had very little heart lef to give.
But a third came along, different from the rest,
Baffled a small loan was made
I went bankrupt.

So one came around
I hadn't hardly a heart to give
The chunk I did,
Was squeezed so tight
That it
Died.

So then you came back.
Lucky number three,
My last chunk of love is in your hands,
But it seems you let it fall

My love casted upon the ground
I fall to my knees,
As my heart crumbles into dust,
A chrimson stain upon the ground
I am broken

My heart in pieces
Pulled apart and broken down
I now so lie,
Heartless
To numb
To ask why
As my heart whimpers in the dark

If beautify is in the eyes of the beholder,
Then the world should look threw the lens of my camera.

I'm a hairline fracture one hug from breaking apart.

And I'm falling apart anyway.

I'm a melting *** of emotions dumped into the floor.

So, thanks for asking, I am not okay.

Dark flashes and
Bright shadows make me wonder

where am I

More importantly endless
Pitter patter
Contemplating through the snow.

Wind gusts smooth silk
Over stationary

Ink stains through my reality.

I do not know where I am.
Who I am.
Or where I must be going.

Teeter totter towers
tumble

The floors gone out below
So I walk on the ceiling

And rise to my downfall

I would like to know why.
Why someone feels the need
The drive
The ambition to impose their agenda on those who are innocent.

Why an eighteen year old young woman had to go to bed in tears because either
Her body was
Objectified
Toyed with
Lusted over

Not to forget **** shamed,
Judged
Assumed fat probably
And objectified again

Then because she wore a "low cut shirt"
She
"Wants it". - (That sentence disgusts me so much I would go back in time to spit on the original misogynist who phrased it together.) -
Or is flaunting.

Sense when is a tank top so grossly sexualized?

Sense the idea of a 'perfect woman' has no body fat
He's an hour Glass figure
To match her perfect hands that
Don't touch anything outside the kitchen
And children

That way us men can keep our women pure. -(The fact that this is true for so many makes me sick)-

The fact that me writing the truth hurts people so badly that they might comment
"Hey, keep yourself to yourself, don't go telling me how to treat my woman."
While in actuality all they would do is prove my point by laying claim to "my" woman. Essentially placing ownership.

I want to know why a friend could be so offended by someone they care about so badly that they don't even confront the person.

I want to know what drives a person to minipulat
Constrict
Exaggerate
Propagate
And push to have someone friendship severed due to their own displeasure.

Why an honest man gets accused of heinous crimes when they simply were avoiding the problem.

Why is it that they are so brutally persecuted when the antagonist is let free.

(The entire fact that I have to weave this poem into existence bothers me. If people could be kind and loving, the world might not go to **** every three days)

The more people stay silent and think someone else will step up is
The sooner the entire
Populous will
Fall
And
Crumble

I love you

Oh look now you did it
She now thinks your
So
Into her!

But you're not.
You grew up with this girl
She is basically your little sister

But society dictates that you are now
In a relationship

Word will get back to your own girlfriend
She will listen to society
All of a sudden nothing you say matters
She is gone

Word gets back to your parents
They kick you out of the house for adultery
No Mennonite family is going to let that happen

As your world falls around you
You realize that you are no longer
Alowed to
Love

Love is such a taboo word
Twisted by societies
Contorted and circus glass reflected view
Of love

The Spanish have it good
They have many ways to express love
Only te amo counting for a spouse

But in America. Home of the rash and quick to judge, we have one phrase

One phrase to cover them
One phrase for them
One phrase for them all and in ignorance confine them.

I sleep deprived mumbled my way into a thunderstorm today
The clapping of the thunder and the
Flashing of the lighting
Made music to my ears

The drilling of water pellets upon my self produced a sensation
Of cold validation
That I was human

Up unto today I wasn't sure how to handle the rain
Seems as when it rains it pours

But today I shrugged off a monsoon
Let my clothes get soaked and kept walking

The goal now is not to fall into a puddles.

Okay, sorry this isn't a poem, but it's for many more poems. I'm going be starting a year long series. Each day I will be taking a verse from the Bible and writing a poem about it. Eventually my app will give me a hard verse, so I would like it if any of you have a favorite verse or more, please share it below and I'll add it in eventually. I won't be posting everyday, but I will be writting everyday (time allowing).

I didn't know I was broken until today

You always hear about that kid
The one with a rough past
Maybe his or her heart was broken

Maybe their dad left

Maybe their mother hit the bottle

I always thought I was the pretzel tied together

Only now I know that in fact I'm knot OK

Don't let the puns fool you
That's just me
Trying to say hi
From the pits of self hate and despair

I'm broken and to proud to say so

To bad theirs no one listing anyway

I could show this to my loved ones and they would say well written

They wouldent even see the salt on the pretty picture that makes my eyes run dry every night

It's OK though
I'll just learn to live as a broken knot
Seems as the core of me was broken long ago

If you shatter me you could see right threw me.

If you cared to look, you would find
The decay of my heart manifesting on the floor.

If you cared to look you would see my hands,
Drawn thin and white knuckled

Grasping

Grasping for you

---

A nest of small tinder laying in a blackened pit,
Surrounded by large blocky logs

A small spark-
So small even the tinder barely feels it,
Prods itself deep into the nest.

It grows it's own angry roots,
It flickers them up the pile,
It consumes the nest in its
Small chance of survival.

It is overbearing.

So let me dash the fire with my fist-
Inhale the aroma of a chance-
Burn myself upon my hope.

---

A lost boy wanders in the woods,
Hoplessly lost without a clue what to do
He wanders eternally.

---

A young woman is curled upon her run down sofa,
Numbly wondering why his name can't get out of her head

She likes him
A lot
She just can't bring herself to spark a fire
She won't call his name
She closed herself off...
Again
-

A young man sits dumbfounded on the floor in the center of his room.
He can't understand why,
Why she won't feel the same

His passion is tender and transparent and his hope is ever-grasping

His soul is lost without guidance
His heart is lost without love.

-

So why must our love be broken my sweet...

I know why you're mad...
I don't blame you for that
I would be too.

Your sister isn't the only one I hurt,
Yes believe it or not you have feelings too
But we are fixing what we broke.

So I hope someday you'll move past this,
I know it won't be easy
But I almost lost your sister,
And it would **** to lose you too.

I'm not one to play a name game
But sometimes it's a necessary pain
When the next leader of your countries name
Is more known for fame
Than his Political game

Now my mind wouldent be in pain
If the names he named
For his cabinet weren't insane

He is a political stain
Who rubs the whole world against the grain
For his own political gain
With out caring on who he places the strain

Of staying sane
Without pain
With enough leftover for today's grain
So my life dosent go down the drain

Don't you see.

He is naming names
Without a clear end game
And when he has had his fame
The world will be left dying and in pain

Do you think it will be forever?

To answer this a story said,










Yes.

End of Story.




But wait theres more to say,
A hypocrite in the light of day!
She speaks of trust-
The rust of your new toys...
Truck.

Opinions screamed
Silently
You take to heart
All you see,
Real or fake opinion stands
Just so long as they regect your plans.

Lover lover know my tone
Nothing left for you
Not a bone.

Go find a new toy and
Wear it out.
When they treat you like ****
I wont doubt.

That you know I was better.

That you know we will never.

Be.
Together.
Again.

What a day to be alive!
The snow is falling down in
Sheets of individual art pieces all part of the mosaic,
Students are flocking to class in a vain attempt at higher education,

Workers head to work
Night shifters head home to sleep
Bar goers are getting ready to wake
To a less pleasent morning.

Then theirs me
Eyes brimfull as I kneel surrounded by my own mosaic of a collapsing life

Am I to late?
did I make it in time?
have you made a new vain,
from the vain within?

Have you colored yourself,
With that Crimson stain?
Can I help ease the pain?

If I made it then you will see,
that new lines are not needed,
when you are with me,
I'm here to help you,
just don't give up the fight.

Because those little silver lines,
they can't affect this heart of mine.

A duel you've challenged me to
One you can't hope to compare
You be the fly and I the shoe
Or maybe a rabbit i will ensnare

Go ahead make your move
Try to out verse me
You won't be this smooth
You'll be on your knees begging a plea

I'll cut threw your sappy verse
**** all over your rhyme
We can carry you out in a hearse
It won't take much time

So bring me my glory
Lay at my feet
Your fight won't be much a story
Once your deceit

I'm still awake.

I'm still awake.

My mind is foggy-
My stomach is churning-
Starbucks booster pack
Double punching me in the gut...

34 hours ago I woke up.

I'm still awake.

I'm still awake.

And it *****.

If threw love i can not speak
Then put me on mute

I have spoken word
Elegance of poetic imperfection
Intermingled with my voice

My voice
What does it sound like.
I think I have a deep voice
One that can boom across a stage
One that can make a whisper well heard

I learnt that in grade school

I say a lot of things in a day
My friends tell me quite blatantly
"Dude, you talk a lot"

So what do my words boil down to?

Are they not more than stationary constructs of pointless interaction

Will not in a year nobody, even me, remember what has been said!

Well

No.

People have a hard time forgetting what people say

In the 21st century we get the curse of picking what we hear is all.

We hear how ******* up our world is on the news all the time

Do we hear about kindness love or compassion?
Not really.

So I am going to speak in love.
There's nothing you can do about it either

Love is why the world still exsists.
Lack thereof is what's causing us to self-destruct

I should really go to bed.

But I can't.

I keep thinking of her.

And honestly I keep thinking of cheesecake.

Now I realize that I can't have either of these tonight,
And that staying up won't help that.

But I am lonely.

And I want some cheesecake.

sigh...

My feet are cold.
Maybe one too many tears froze to them now.  

Standing in my own tundra of regret,

He who should walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death...

The wind stings my face.
It whispers in my ear:
~Happiness will never find you~
I wish it would lie to me.

I take a step forward so I can look at the track I left behind.

I peer close and see the destruction of my soul,
Ripped from her hands,
Torn by my teeth,
Shredded by her words.

Laying tattered underfoot.
Discarded.
Forgotten.
Alone.

Oh God I'm alone.
With only my mistress of depression to accompany me.

I lay in the permafrost, using the snow as a blanket, and shiver.

I realized today that people are not the top if the food chain,

It may be beleaved that we are,

But that is a common misconception.

We are not the top,

Guns are

Sometimes in life.
Life just *****.
And that's life.
Which *****.
****...