I failed a test for the first time in my life.
I failed.
Does the results of one test make me a failure?
I mean, people have failed many times before!
Then why,
does this failure affect me so much?
I try so hard to be perfect.
Not a toe out of line.
Balancing my studies and passion for acting.
I've been able to do it for the past three years!
Why am I crumbling now?
Did perfection leave cracks on the inside that could not be seen?
Was perfection something I used to covered up the imperfections?
I can see them all.
The blemishes,
The flaws.
Makes my skin itch.
It's not perfect.
It's not in order!
It's not the way it should be!
I'm not the way I should be

Everything,
blown out of proportion.
Is not being able to print something a reason for you to cry?
Does it allow you to shout at your mother?
You rude *****.
She does everything for you and you can't be appreciative.
She may irritate you to no end.
She irritates me too.
But, there is never a valid reason for you to shout at your mother.
Your mother.
The only person who'll love you unconditionally.
So, shut your mouth.
Have some respect and stop crying for every single thing.
*God!

Technically, we are all dying.
We'll die eventually, in 80 years, in a month, in a day.
We all die.
Truth is, not all deaths are equal.
That homeless man on the street?
He died yesterday.
Not a single soul mourned.
But that famous actor who died because of a drug overdose?
Yeah, millions mourned, though they did not know him.
Some deaths hurt you more than other deaths.
Just like how his death hurt me.
He didn't die per say, but, he died on the inside.
That killed me too.
Eventually everyone dies.
Everyone will just be a memory and after that, nothing.
But I don't want to just be a memory.
I don't want to be nothing.
I want to impact lives.
I want to stay alive in the work I have done.
But.
Everyone will be a memory.
Just like how you will forget about this poem five minutes after you read it.
One day the earth will forget me.

I'm
F
  A
     L
        L
           I
             N
                G
Through thin air,
Nothing is suspending me.
Falling.
Falling
No one notices.
And then,
I'm gone.
*Fallen

People speak through colours
But they don't realise
Sometimes they hide behind them
Their a reflection of the eyes

Colours are a language
That each of us convey
A way we all communicate
In a subtle kind of way

When we choose  the colour yellow
Our child within seeks fun
The heart feels warm and gentle
Radiant like the sun

White displays purity
A need to start a new
A calmness found
Security sought
When we choose the colour blue

Red speaks of a confidence
Of one who likes to dance
One who dares
One who dreams
Of beauty and romance

Green it tells a story
Of one who's brave and bold
Not afraid to speak their mind
But doesn't like being told

Orange speaks of someone
Full of energy and zest
One who likes to sing out loud
And always does their best

Purple wearers like the peace
Of quiet natures sound
They are not ones to meddle
Their feet firmly on the ground

Pink reflects a gentleness
A reluctance to fight
Preferring nothing heavy
Keeping all things light

Black ~beige and grey
All neutral
Speak of those in the background
they'd rather be spectators
Of others all around

My aim when writing this poem
Was Simply to amuse
But has it got you thinking
About the colours
That you choose?

And when you,
you find yourself
alone
in the throes
of your
self-induced
scintillating
intoxication,
do you find peace there
gasping?

So much has changed since childhood
No more kisses goodnight
No more night lights
No more mommy and daddy

No more tucks into bed
No more "don't let the bed bugs bite"
No more XOXOs, or "I love you"
No more "see ya later alligator"
No more hugs, or kisses

Still afraid
Afraid of the dark.
Still needing the night light
To keep me lite, and bright with innocence

Afraid of the monsters under the bed
All the innocence is gone
Still there are monsters
Except they are mine

All alone
Still with monsters
My own monsters,
that haunt and terrorize me

All alone
Surrounded by monsters
Some my own
Most are the people is the world

Where is the light,
That keeps burning bright
That keeps my innocence alive
I need that night light back
Before my light goes completely out