Why do I do this
You hurt me so badly
But I always seem to go back to you
I always try to talk to you
You barely notice me at school
It is unbearable the amount of tension
We share many memories in that one night
I lust for you, I see you do too
Why can't we be together once more?
I just wish I could be yours once again
What happened? You pushed me out and away
Not talking, talking
I just want to be your friend at the least
I am here for you always
          I think I love you.

How do things get so much better
I let my guard down.
I thought it could stay better
I forgot all the bad things
that have ever happened

I shouldn't have done that
Things always get worse
It was all too good to be true
I gave up on my happy ending

I don't deserve life
I can take it way
Who would care
Things are so bad

Could I actually do it?
Drown? Overdose?
Knife? Jump?
When could I get away

I have friends
I know they care
Even though they are
Never there

I feel so alone
Un loved, unwanted
A disappointment
I can't live up to my expectations

So much potential
I can't see inside me
They say I could do so much
I don't believe

T
  H
      I
         S
                  I
                     S
                                G
                                     O
                                         O
                                              D
                                                  B
                                                      Y
                                                         E

Never will it be said
That she was a genius.
Never will it be said
That she was talented.
Never will it be said
That she spoke kindly.
Never will it be said
That she was beautiful.
Never will it be said
That she carried value.

What will be said
Is that she was normal.
That she was average.
That she was capable
of ******* everything up.
That she didn't try enough,
didn't achieve enough,
didn't listen to what
would have saved her soul.
What will be said
Is that she wasn't terrible,
just mean.
Is that she wasn't stupid,
just dumb.
Is that she wasn't a gem,
just a pebble.

Scuffed soul,
scuffed body.
Imperfections layered
to cover the disappointments
of never being
anything
of worth.