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Why can't I dream of you?

I think of you every minute of every day,
But when I lay my head on my pillow and drift away,
You are never there, I don't like it this way!

While I sleep my head maybe empty, but my heart is laden
My sorrow is endless and I don't want to awaken

I want to see you now in my dreams, I insist
To dream that it is you I kissed
Now you are gone it's almost like I no longer exist
That's life, when things are good theres always a nasty twist

Please come to me soon, I will be waiting
My heart is aching.
I can't dream of my lost love
I don't know how,
To tell you I am broken,
Without feeling needy,

I don't know how,
To open up,
Without feeling judged,

I don't know how,
To cry when,
My tears feel like acid,

I just need you,
To see that I,
Am hurting,
Without me telling you,
Because my words,
Are bleeding out of my mouth,
Waiting for you to,
Stitch me up,
And make me fine,
Although I know,
That's not your job,
And you're better off without me,

I just need,
You too see me,
One last time..
She kissed me on perfect spaces,
     With stars,
          Into constellations.*

© 2015 J.S.P.
Draft.
  Feb 2015 dhanumitha surendran
Myriah
I'm sure this is real
Our broken hearts will heel in time
You leave me confused, breathless,
Wanting more,
More of you .
  Feb 2015 dhanumitha surendran
angela
there you were, lying right next to me. our bodies entangled with each other, fingers intertwined, legs wrapped around each other - it was almost as if our souls were about to become one. i lie awake, staring right next to me where you were - perfection, yes perfection, perfection is all i see right now. your tired eyes gently shut, eyelashes that looked like a butterfly's fragile wing, the bridge of your nose constructed so perfectly, your cheeks that were tinted pink, i wanted to run my fingers through all the edges of your faces, just to make sure that you were real and this is not another one of those daydreams i've been having for so long now, that this is really happening, that you, my dreams, yes, you are my dreams, that this is reality. "what did i do to get myself so lucky?" i wondered. there you were, such a divine creation of god, accompanied by a wonderful melody that consisted of the rise and sighs of your breath, a melody that made me feel blessed for you, my love, existed. before this, i was in love with the idea of you. the thought of you that kept running through my mind whether i was alone or not, i was so in love and infatuated by you, just by you existing in my mind. it was hard to believe that something as simple as your existence can make me so happy. i had no control over how you were multiplying the butterflies that were now flying viciously inside of me, how you make my veins pump with adrenaline, how you make my heart play a mean bass drum whenever you're around. home was now your arms, and my heart was now yours, but the best part was that you were mine, now and what feels like forever. there you were, lying right next to me, gently inhaling and exhaling. i can't help but plant a kiss on your pink tinted cheeks and bury my face in your chest, and under my breath i say, "oh god, i'm so in love with you."
was very inspired to write this by someone special. i love him so much.
my love for you could never fade away
could never wash away
could never be forgotten
my heart wont let me forget you
wont let me forget what we once had
everything you done for me
everything i done for you
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