Saying I love you just hurts
its a void that can't be filled within me
because inadequacy has made me numb again
it has made you numb again.
So I settle for never being yours-
I settle for the freedom
you have mapped out in your veins
they travel through your skin
like roads you have yet to take
and I wonder if you will bring me with you..
But I already know the answer-
love is never enough to rid of these worries
you carry with you like luggage
and I am the worst kind of baggage.
People search a lifetime for a love like this
I have searched for 18 years
trying to convince myself it is real
but I have discovered just like everything else
it is eventually masked by the pain
and thrown away for self-preservation.
I am too selfless
maybe it's because I have little self worth-
spending too much time
making sure others do not feel the pain I do
but when it does come
this pain of mine-
no one knows how to react
they stand there because
this is not what they expected.
Leave me be if you must-
wander to places you will never see
follow the roadmap inside your arms
and the signs within your eyes.
I will never be fine
but I was this way before you traveled through me.
I was just a destination you had to reach-
another point on your map.
You always knew you weren't gonna stay
and I guess I was the last to know.

Love train:
Kushu! Kushu! Kushu!
As it start to move and accelerate
From my heart to yours
By the aorta through the ateries and back
From your heart to mine
By the veins through the superior and the inferior it goes.

Love train:
From the love factories - our cardiacs
All over the rail ways - our veins
Transporting minerals - our feelings
Boiling our blood hot evaporating

Love train:
Keeping us connected even when apart,
Breaking the bounderies and passing through the caves and bridges of hate.

Honestly I am so done with your ****
*               I need help, won't you do this?
This time no, I don't think that I will
I'm tired of trying to do a good deed
just for you and it comes right back-
freezing my heart some worn out
number below zero degrees. I'm
so tired of trying to be there for you
always 100 percent and you just not
seeing it. you made me go from types
of sublime to forms of somber. You
were never really-TRULY-there for
me I now can remember that, simply.
This is my goodbye, don't contact me
again in this life.

Look inside
the black holes
of his eyes
and find
a nightmare
meeting your gaze.

Look inside
past the crimson
of her lies
and find
a terrible tale
hiding just behind.

Look inside
beneath the flawless skin
that protects the beast within
and find
that cruelty is born
when kindness is not seen.

Look inside
Deep in my eyes
Made of starry skies
and find
that the shadows
are reflected there.

Tight hugs
Sitting close
Playful shoves
Eyes closed

Breathing in
Breathing out
Lips are silent
Heart shouts

My guy friend
Is a part of me
A part that you
May someday meet

The time we spend
Is so precious
My favorite memories
Are of us

I guess there's nothing
More to say
I'll think of something
Another day.