maybe i fell  in  love  with the
way  you  would  look  at  me
and look away when i caught
you staring or maybe i fell  in
love  with  your   smile  when
you felt brave enough to keep
your gaze and maybe i fell  in
love   with   your  demanding
personality and your reckless
ability to abandon everything
or  maybe  i  fell  in  love with
your     dreams,     fears     and
twisted    thoughts   and   you
only   fell   in   love   with  my
s      u      r        f       a      c      e

they tell  you  that  when  you  meet  'the one',
you just know. there are fireworks and sparks
and  your  heart  finally  begins  beating like it
should  but  no  one  told  me  that  i'd  be  in a
*******   library  and  i'd   look   up,   feel   my
stomach  drop  to the floor and sell my soul to
a  boy  that  appeared  like  a  dream  but  was
made                 of                 hell's                 fires.

the star in the sky
that will guide me home.
the flicker of light i've been waiting for to make this journey through darkness less treacherous.
finally a shard of hope i've been awaiting for far too long.  
i'm trying to engrave myself
smiling alongside the four of you.
it's nothing compared to what it would be like being there.
there i would be home
and i'd feel warm.
it'd rid me of this emptiness,
this heart would finally feel whole again.

maybe then i would feel...

                                                  *complete

What a cruel game we play.
we wish it away only to wish we could have it back!

It's laughing at us all the while.

i chose to be inebriated by you
and no antidote can recover me anymore,
so i lay here prone,
overthinking about you.
your words, they penetrated me.
internally and externally, so smile
with happiness so the purpose
of your words can exist on me.
as i close my eyes to go to lay dormant
i can mentally see images of you
as if they are embedded
to the interior of my eyelids.
promise me you will stay.

the only thing
i find myself comfortable with,
are the long lonely bus rides.
i find myself memorizing things
i could care less about,
but i just can't stop myself from letting
these eyes wander and take in surroundings
that are no longer new to me.
(i close my eyes)
the same familiar faces come through
the automatic door.
workers, children, or that grumpy old man
who forgets where he's headed,
never the person i'm hoping for.
the only thing keeping me from given up,
is the thought of you on the other
end of this map waiting for me.
i just hope i'm not too late.

i'm dying on the inside.
the ghost that follows can't seem
to neglect even a single step.
the ground i've built for myself
isn't strong enough,
i'm beginning to fall.
my demons are sewn to my shoulder,
constantly whispering (give up)
the thought flurries
throughout my head.
the future is bleak, dark like my past.
i don't know,

            I JUST DON'T KNOW!

this cannot be living,
i'm already dead to myself.
i ran out of the last little  
bit of hope i had invested...
that light went out a long time ago.

What if today you were told would be your last
Could you say you lived life to the fullest?
Are you proud of your legacy?
Did you make a difference?
If the answer to these questions are not to your liking than you are in luck because for you there is a tomorrow.
For you it's not to late to make a difference.
From this moment on make every minute count.
Make your life matter!