I turn my music louder so I don't have to hear myself cry
I turn my back to reality and choose to sit on the naive part of the bench
Won't let the blue slide distract me....
My problems seem much more vibrant than the thick plastic makeup of this childhood playground
My own childhood recedes as love envelopes me
Your voice lingers in my head, whispering "I love you"
but it shouts when I hear you say "I can't"
I write my feelings down on paper so as not to spoil the sweet, innocent air that surrounds me
My pain is poured out of my pen and onto this paper,
Out of my eyes and onto this wooden bench
thats been marked with love and promises of forever
Promises that will never float off of your lips and kiss my ears
I love you
I turn my music louder so I don't have to hear myself cry

I want you so badly
to hold you in my arms and to be held in yours
but how can you and I be,
when I am just a shadow underneath a shaded tree?
A better view they cannot see
see me crying
trying to impress the less knowledgable
skimming through your details
bypassing the fine print
in which i have made my mind a home
yet i'm hidden
blended with the clouds that passersby admire and watch
while you fill their heads with your beautiful words
Ears were meant for hearing but mine filter your sounds
into love
life's filters are meant to cleanse the vile and harmful thoughts
that are trapped in my mind
polluting us
for I am your secret
a hidden shadow too outspoken to be heard
too quiet to be listened to
I want so badly to be discovered
remove that stain which blocks your view of me
that area not polished
for its landscape is too rough to house
my most tender and buried emotions
strumming your heart strings with calloused fingers
your heart strings even more so
Perhaps that's why the sounds are so sweet
to us and no one more
open up to me
it is time to walk through that crooked door
together
I, me, and your shadow

does absense truly make the heart grow fonder?
or does it string along a road towards forgetfulness?
my worries deepen as the clock's hands run
by now their bodies emaciated due to time passed

i suffer from
that kind of
sadness that only
creeps in the
darkness of night,
forcing tears out
of my eyes.

                      i suffer from
                      that kind of
                      sadness that swings
                      like a pendulum
                      in your ribcage
                      for days, destroying
                      every heart vessel,
                      that soul-blackening
                      sadness.

...............................................  on the.................................................
            ­                            moth eaten pages,  
                                                   i pen
                                            the discovery,
                                                i dread
                                             my existence
                                             in this world.
                                in the abode of black men,
                               among the filth of mankind,
                        scattered in those dimly lighten ghettos
                            relaying an unforgivable legacy
                                                i stood
                                   as a moss covered relic
                              silhouetted against the light
                                             a moppet,
                                born in this tabooed world
                                    a scar upon my kins
                                who likely preferred a boy
                                                biped,
      ­                           standing alone in the moor
                                          beheld a future
                                        turned into debris
                                                like flies ,
                                  swarming around a glare
                                  many a cold hapless eyes ,
                                                   i met
                                        hovering over me
                                      eyeing me - a hellion
                                 and soon they drew my fate
                                                every door
                                         shut upon my face
                                                forcing me
                                        to creep in to corners
                                                  and live
                                          under the shadows
                                   to defy them proved grim
                                        only to be hugged
                                    often by heartless whips
                                 or burnt by cigarette thuds
                                          thus like a ****
                                      amid st the bean stalk
                                          they uprooted me
                                             from their lives
                                      and thawed my efforts
                                           to seek the world  
                                           after all who am i
                                                     a girl
                                                  yes a girl
                                                   a taboo....
                                               or a disgrace?
                                                 i was killed
                              murdered...in my mothers womb
                                            my blood spilled
                                            before i was born
                                            before i could see
                                         before i could breath
                                             they choked me
                                                   to death
                                                   from life
                                                    from
                                                       me ....