"Babe, you were my last thought in 2014, and now you're my first thought in 2015...
I love you."

That's what I texted you last year, at midnight, on New Years Eve.
You replied with, "Aw, thanks."

It's December 28th, 2015, and I haven't gone a day this year without you on my mind.
I don't think anyone understands what I feel towards you, you especially don't.

I feel like at one point you might have loved me.  Now I feel like you tolerate me, but even that can only last for so long.

I've spent a year loving someone who didn't love me back.  I've spent a year trying to make things work, with someone who never cared to try.  I don't think it was the healthiest year for me.  But the thing is, I can't blame anyone for it. It's been my choice, and it always has been.  I choose to make this year about you, I choose to put you first, I keep picking you.

Will 2016 be another year of you?  I guess it's my choice, let's see what I pick.

I guess
I'm just scared
You'll wake up one day
And tell me you don't love me
Anymore

Because if you did
I wouldn't know
Where to put
All this love

This is how I realized I'm over you.

I do not miss you anymore.
My soul that used to seek warmth
from your curt, unfeeling replies
now burn with an unwavering flame
fueled by the love I have for myself.
The eyes that used to hold galaxies and hidden universes
are now miles of sand,
a desert in nighttime.
Cold, dangerous, unforgiving.
A warning to stay away
or I will be lost forever.
That smile that makes your face
the brightest thing in the world--
my world--
reminds me of forgotten promises and an empty future.
I do not want any of that.
I do not need any of that.

But I do not hate you.
I hated the nagging silence,
the growing distance,
the poor excuses.
I hated that we fell apart.
But I never hated you.
I never could.
You were my escape
and my time with you had been filled
with fluttering butterflies, days of sunlight, and endless wonders.
For that, I'm thankful.

I'm over you.

A turning point in someone's life.
Either to
make you
or
break you,
just
*don't give up
to life,
especially
to love.

Water ebbs and flows like the gentle breeze
Tourists lounge in chairs, watching with practiced ease
Bright blue skies dotted with clouds roll by
*** in hand, I sit and let out a contented sigh

Flashing back to the times of years long past
When wiffleball, sleepovers, and cookouts trended; not the latest reality cast
When movies, delivered pizza , and cake felt like the perfect day
And no one obsessed  over what social media had to say

Let’s bring back the joy of those  pure summer days
With nothing to do but let them pass in a daze
A fog over my mind, past worries but a whisper
Looking forward to good memories  with my brother and sister

Whether school-age or not, what a great time of year
Visits await with friends and relatives; vacation is drawing near
Take a moment just to savor it and let that feeling stay
For life will roll in like the tide and try to take it all away.