Things are well for once all the negative people are gone he was on his path and was determined to make it to the next level. He didn't ask or want others influence because in his mind he had the plan and vision in his head even if the outcome did not come out accordingly. He learned to love himself and put his needs first. Things were better figuring out what he wanted building up confidence and courage to make his decision without others throwing their monkey wrench into his plans. He found passion in what he loves! Not worried if it was cool all that mattered was it made him happy. He had promised himself to be happy and let go of the past that kept surfacing because it was history and no longer mattered. He did change for people some for good and others didn't appreciate the sacrifice so it became for himself. The women that claimed to love him but with someone else he was not one to move on so ****** but did learn they are gone not coming back so no point in waiting around. He had many friends he valued deeply but they bad mouth him or holding a grudge because he called them out he was a good friend that told the truth. He would not be fake or a friend if he did lie.

Haven't been writing as much but reading more need to be more vivid with details that make the reader use their five sense and be able to see what I'm talking about. I'm currently appreciating  the humor in freaks and geeks has James Franco and Seth Rogan they are an awesome team I like their chemistry so fresh and organic. It cracks me up how social awkward people can be but sometimes it's just a natural thing for some. The more I read the voice in my head thinks of how it should be said and the tone. I'd like to do more comedy but I think silence will make it more intense than funny. It's easy to be honest and find humor in well thought out stuff. It can be complicated since people don't look for funny in the bad or tough times. I don't like to let bad ruin my good time or make the fun lose it's value. Times have changed what's new growing up is now a classic or oldie time has flown by. Learned to embrace age gray hair and chubs looking in the mirror seeing more wrinkles and dark circles around my eyes no matter how much sleep I get. What bugs you or gets on your nerves you let go of speak the truth makes me feel great because I don't need to be liked because most of the people I like don't like me behind my back but if I don't like them I do it to their face. Not into fake people anymore I don't need to I press or prove myself to anyone just myself and I could be my own nightmare to deal with

He got tired of social media and picked up books he started. It was time to finish them without any distractions. He reached out to people they left him hanging. He didn't take it personal but realized he was different and not like everyone else. He loved reading he even turned his tv off he loved his shows too but it wasn't stimulating his mind. He didn't always fit in but he always did what made him happy. He learned so much about himself over the past couple of years. He didn't make resolutions but everyday told himself be better don't settle.
He made his world better he always wanted to share it but the world of dating was like a shallow puddle of mud he dared not go there. He was a hopeless romantic but the romance he encountered lately made him feel hopeless. He was a late bloomer but willing to try. He never based the new off the old always seen it as new and a clean slate. He didn't want a movie romance it came close but like all movies it comes to an end.
He had great social skills but so many lost in their phone texting or pretending to be important when you see the reality the internet use to be a place to escape reality but everyone make the social network the reality. People don't communicate and their are so many ways to keep contact.
He loved his family but to lower yourself and be ridiculed to accepted was not the way to go so he learned to go without he wanted to be his own person. He dreamed big and did way more than his siblings but didn't take praise or hang on to a moment but was ready to make it happen in whatever he was doing. He didn't want to like or be like them everything he did they criticized him and it angered him but later everyone else would do the same he was annoyed how the doubled standards made him out to be the bad guy. How his way was wrong but the credit was given when someone else did what he was already doing.

He use to get nervous when she would talk to him. He feared rejection and how she viewed him and seen him differently. He always dated the wrong women but with her things felt right. He never trusted his gut when it came to giving his heart to others. He was weird and different part of his charm. He cared for people even though they never treated him right or fair. He was always positive how he seen the world looked for good when most things were bad or went wrong. He would mind his business and did his own thing. He would worry for others but they didn't want to be helped or saved he prayed for them even though he wasn't a priority his friendship was an option even though it would be turned down because everyone got older focused on relationships or getting married plus having kids. He wanted that life but it was not the time. He wanted to make the most of life and enjoy his youth while time passed it would slip away.
He was not driven by money but did want to make a career and money off what he loved. People always inspired him or made him be more because he can't do it all by himself.

He woke up late, and still felt restless. I debated what to have for breakfast. He walked into work knowing his crush would be there but he kept it professional. He never had good luck with the ladies. If he liked them they weren't interested or he never acted on those urges. They had unique conversations that shared a laugh or two. He never got the hit or cues because he was interested. He didn't want his feelings and urges to get the best of him. She was smart and determined to get her degree while he was hard working. They ran with different crowds might cause a conflict of interest.
He over thought and imagined the outcome, but still has yet to act on these thoughts. He has been wrong before.
He once admitted his feelings to a high school crush and she got with his so called best friend. Years later in college he met another girl no label but it did seek the benefits of a relationship. He decided maybe they should make it official turns out she had other plans he was a fling and got hurt in the process.
He always enjoyed his job even if it ****** found good in the people this made his job more tolerable. He was always focused on his career despite setbacks and detours he was determined. The hard part for him was finding balance.

Those eyes
So sad
So loving, loyal and true.
Who can resist that look
From a dog?

Best family member
Of the animal kind.
So devoted to his Mum and Dad
And even uncle.

No fickleness here:
Unflinchingly faithful.
Loving to run and fetch
For his master or mistress.
Even bring in the ‘paper.

See him jump for joy
As you grab the lead
That he’s brought you.
It’s “That time”…

If you let him,
He’ll lick you all over
Before rolling on his back
For a belly rub.
(And his Missus is just the same)!

But those eyes have it:
Bottomlessly sad
So you just have to give him
Strokes and cuddles.

Paul Butters

© PB 21\1\2018.