you left my heart much like yours,
smoldering,
like a boulder turned pebble.
tumbling,
before settling,
in a space between bass and treble.

i find myself content within torment,
i feel bright when i'm blue.
i'm not broken, just bent,
and without wanting to,
that's something i resent.

I walked alone.
Ran apart.

Here we go,
That's what I'd tell myself.

I'd run in,
Throughout puddles,

Into heartlessness.
But that's fine,

I'll be just alright.
That's what I'd tell myself.

why write,
why lie,
during the depths of nighttime,
when it's always dry,
always read by brown eyes,
under morning skies.

a pack a day.
feel yourself waste away,
let your teeth decay,
so you can put your addiction on display.

You wake,
I sleep,

You dance,
I dream,

Of all the things,
We couldn't be.

Holding hearts,
Walking apart,

I'll hold you,
Like I need to,

I don't mean to,
I don't need you.

You know you,
No better,
Than I know myself.
Infatuated.
With the dying ideas,
Of glimmers.
Not of hope, but,
Impossibilities.
I don't mean to.

Builds ups.
Racing hearts and,
Escalating chests.
Precursing,
The death of everything.
Not made.

Hectic clashes of empowered,
Godlike forces.
Torrential.
All within,
The unsteady beating of my heart.

Until I learn to die,
I'll thrive, in the cesspool of my mind.

After I learn to shine,
I'll realize that the stars never tried to align.

What won't **** me, deepens.
Shattering what's left, sending me off the deep end.

I'll never learn to condemn it,
And you're sheltered by my effort to transcend it.

flip the script,
try again.
don't condemn.
try your best to make amends.

Now, I've heard of writer's block.
But is there such a thing as thinker's block?
Creative thoughts and habits have suddenly stopped.
Past securities and emotional bombs have been dropped.
Now all my thoughts have stopped, everything has stopped, as if blocked.

-------------------
your sweet, lips,
forming into sick,
kiss.
your brown eyes insist,
on swallowing me into
your abyss.
this,
bliss
is purely just a glitch
surely can't exist,
but it sorely will be missed.
i know, this:
we clearly can't coexist,
no matter how much we resist
no matter how much we wish,
this rift,
just can't be dismissed.
it's not a simple slip
that can easily be fixed,
it's a partnership apocalypse.
we're living in a counterfeit relationship.

buy yourself a new lie,
you know it's cheap.
bring me to the graveyard
please, don't forget to weep.
then take my heart.
it's yours to keep.

i flatline my way through life.

being in the way
of absolutely nothing
is the way to be

Crippling ideas and curiosities spark my emotional engine to turn long forgotten gears back into action as I look at pictures of her.
The soft lips softly speaking words that were violently engraved into my thoughts, ironically contrasting the simple meaning, helping me remember and overthink them yet again, months after she ruined me.

Skin stretched like a drawn canvas over an empty rib cage where my heart used to beat.
It wandered off, and fluttered away, as if it had given up all hope on getting better.
Much like my mind is slowly but very surely losing grip, losing faith.
My poor mind isn't getting better.
I sometimes wonder if it can, or if it will, ever.
I'm only hoping,
That hope is a glue strong enough to hold the pieces of my shattered heart together.

Recurrent words, boiled your blood,
The same that painted my roses red.
But those flowers no longer grow,
Where your thoughts turned sour.
We parted with seeds left to sow,
In strong minds full of power, no more.
Where the rain turns beautiful,
An unusual question becomes an answer.
In a deeply melancholic cave,
The surface of a stoic puddle, turns dancer.

anomalous, employing confidence despite artlessness,
effortlessly emending residual callowness.
seldom forgetting to find the time and peace of mind
to wield my puerilism as a social chisel,
avoiding parergies, attempting to carve out a balance
in between conscious frivolity and daily drivel.

Spotted glints,
of lost luster,
in sealed oyster.
Still I obeyed the tape.
Navigating devoid of footholds,
simply stepped to the next petal, and strode.
Sundered squeaks, creaky hinges, floorboards, still,
there are inklings every other instant.
Uncertain of furls in the sail, wrent the rotten rudder from the stern.
Still there are tints in the stitching,
at the fringes. They billow.
The thievery was unintended.

His mother's gift was not desirable.
All that he really wanted,
Was something soft,
Something short,
Something sweet,
Something that wouldn't make his nose bleed.

a ruby motive.
pruriently evolving,
to a lotus tree.

Can eyes boil?
Frothy, glazed gazes,
Steaming into all-seeing clouds.

Minds can melt, I'm sure.
Flowing into tendrils of emotion,
Searching for victims to soothe.

Hearts cannot sing, cannot weep,
With tears forming worlds, purely out of desire,
Creating remembering ebbs, longing for limerence.

I haven't written a poem all day,
That fact makes me a little sad.
Sometimes, I have less to say,
And I guess that isn't all that bad.

I'm stricken with poet's block,
My heart is sickened with a lack of love.
I can't find anyone, with whom to talk,
And that loneliness is helpful, sort of.

i love your rose hair when it's rushed.
maybe it's a crush, maybe i'm just entranced,
but i'm in love with your blush,
and every chance i get to exchange a glance.

from trust to crush,
chances to advances,
your eyes look like stardust,
through my amber tinted glasses.

i hate my shyness,
stuck in my nervous trances.
but i love your inner brightness,
every time we engage in our verbal dances.

from lust to dust,
passion to ashes,
i find myself hopelessly romanced,
by amber tinted glasses.

..     - .... .. -. -.-     ..     .-.. --- ...- .     -.-- --- ..-

Black are the eyes,
Brutal are the kin,
Blind are the unwise and
Bruised is the skin

we laughed together,
like two birds sharing the same feather.
what a tragedy, majesty displayed,
every time we flew, never in fair weather.

Soldiers stand, corralled like sheep,
Peaceful times turn to violence,
Even at night I cannot sleep,
And in this time there is no silence.

"I'll tell you a secret if you tell me three."
She was lying, of course,
she'd spill the beans.

Feeling memories of soft voices floating across the arid forests that are my memories of you,
Through the bleak terrain I see you, and your all too elusive smile.
Please come back, I think it'd be wonderfully unhealthy for my state of mind.
It's not often someone says "I love you." without thinking they mean it, but I think I do.
Trance-like remembrances of curly hair and deep thoughts permeate my head,
And I cannot help but wish that life was something that it is not,
Because it is worth the while, through mind's eye staring at your ghost.

Once connected,
Facets jaded, and
Faces faded.

Once departed,
Always behind, but
Never unkind.

Once forgotten,
Love ended, and
Wounds never tended.

time flies by,
when the night sky,
shines so bright,
that my mind's eye goes blind.
i've had far too much wine.

The night sky,
Never fades to black,
As many think their souls do,
It just fades to a darker shade of bright blue.

I'm cutting my hands to bone,
Trying to pick them up,
Shattered memories of heart,
That I never wore upon my sleeve.
Quick, painful glances,
No longer longing stares, stealing.
Lost words, shared thoughts and,
Differing views of past futures,
All coiled into a cold noose,
By which I'll enter your world.

i want to take you to a babbling creek.
to play hopscotch on lily pads,
and maybe dance through cattails,
to forget what makes us sad.

Take this,
Read that,
Eat this,
Buy that,

Orders issued,
Traps laid,
Information seeded,
Robots made,

Clean you up,
Hold you back,
Dull you down,
Here's another Prozac.

Sit back down,
Wait until dismissed.
Don't worry, don't think,
Ignorance is bliss.

i'm a weeping willow tree,
a hot cup of black irish tea,
a door-less skeleton key,
i'm an undefined wannabe.
pedantic as can be.

I seem to be overrun with myself.
My thoughts bubble over,
As boiling water from of a ***.
Feelings and phrases bounce about,
Between the walls of my head.
I cannot help but seek an escape,
From lowly emotions,
That make my heart feel dead.

I messed up.
I wasted days away, never letting you be.
I never did this, or that, I was never that, or this.
I keep trying to figure it out.
I keep making excuses, I don't know what happened.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Too much distance, never enough for you.
I keep regretting, but nevertheless it was nothing to you.
Never too real, never too serious.
You never truly answered, never not being mysterious.
I write poems to cope, I draw pictures to remember.
From you I lost all my hope, never bitter.
I was never bitter, always despairing.
I was never this, or that. Why, however, is what I wonder.
I'm trying to figure it out.

You'll be okay with me,
And I with you.
Set ablaze, burn the sea.
Eyes bright, an indigo hue.
With the crushing weight of nothing,
Fallacies are born,
Setting fire to your words, never bluffing.

noting notions as a *** boils over
I'm standing dead still
still in the jig, just clinking
plodding soil as expectants fold in
popped then flicked it
pleasant patina of the mechanism
ceramic pulses in useless scripture
miracle unclipping of a dorsal fin
spectators stack irrelevances in several heaps
haphazard riptides in shared seas of subjection pull dully
slipping through and about subtle reactants
bridling a flood, lock sabotage
nil for a filter, sending catalysts roaring into battle
eating wartime victories and empty advice to be immersed in humility
gifted in living the suffering of the freedom of bearing suffrage
warring wingtips against space edges with abruptness

Wandering,
Into the silky sadness.
Traveling,
Into the murky madness.

Bustling,
To the place I waited.
Clinging,
To the same words you hated.

I wonder,
What it's like,
To fly.

I tried too hard,
You were often,
Too shy.

And then,
When we met,
I got by.

Even now,
When we part,
I partly die.

I now regret,
The final time,
We said goodbye.

torpedo ink, some doubts to sink,
another mouthful, bruising to bethink.
without lexical integrity,
they're solecistic towards pedagogy, amusingly distinct.
basking in the blasphemy, armed to the teeth, blameless and bruised,
putting on another comical skit, guiltlessly bemused.
but don't sit next to me at this ball,
i'm pensively perusing the aisles of protocol.
baffled, more putrid than pellucid,
this hobnobbing appalls me, the exclusively reclusive.
a nuisance shindig, conversations far too allusive.
enough with the palaver, and this shallow vernacular,
far too stupid, far too human, forehead now growing vascular.
make way for me to make hastily for the exit, please,
my apologies, but i'm far too pedantic to revel in this cesspit, jeez.

the sequence requires a temporal pretense,
thusly prescribing time to thoughts that i tend to frequently frequent,
learning to liken my notions to pen strokes, ascensive.
harmonizing with the world, instead of agonizing over it,
prosperous from this defective preemptive pension.
remaining aggressively pensive, and peaceably gamboling,
towards a dangerously receptive conscious-less contemplation.
never unrelenting with the questioning, iron-****** in the leavening.
perpending, then comprehending viable praxis and cognation.
flirting with what i initially anticipated, practicing diurnal satiation.

Through this looking glass, opting out,
From this windowed hole, I hope this makes you less sad.
We'll both grow older, as many tend to do,
And move separate ways with thoughts never leaving,
Forever bitter, never regretting, never bitter, never.