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  Feb 2017 dmperez
I am not old, yet.

My skin is not powdery and white, see-through like a paper lantern.

But there is a part of me which

When I dare to reach for someone I love

Reaches with brittle ***** fingers, soft and cold and fluttering like white moths

That edge closer to a flame until they catch.

There is a part of me that feels old, and fragile.

And already even in the crest of my youth I’ve cursed this body

For its frailty, its needs.

It suffers and complains, always crying out for something,

Never sated, never still.

I’ve said it feels like living inside a porcelain doll

A look, and cracks can spider out along an arm,

A word and blood can bloom beneath the surface, seeping up into

Bruised pictures and symbols.

I must always be gentle,

I must always be


Too passionate, and fissures form, marring the cheek, spreading like shadows thrown by a lace curtain.

I stare out, burning to touch everything,

And yet I pull back:

To dare is to risk, and I’ve seen

Both reward and loss.

I have seen a thousand shining colors spread across me like sunrise,

Warming my skin,

Calling to me like prayer until a bit of light escaped through the spaces between my atoms and reached another person’s palms,

But I have also seen the pale, flat shards of myself,

Sifted through white dust in dismay

For a salvageable portion.

Indeed, there are rooms in this world where sharp edges of me still linger

Waiting in obstructed corners and beneath heavy refrigerators

To gouge a foot or snag a hem,


In the dark and hollow places where they flew when I shattered and could not gather them all.

I have known


My own fragility,

How maddeningly breakable I am

And how difficult to mend.

And there is a part of me now, always,

Which whispers to me when I would be bold,

“You are not old, yet.

But wouldn’t you just love

To live that long?”
*title is a quote from T.S. Eliot's The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock
dmperez Feb 2017
me ignoring you
    ignoring me.

  Jan 2017 dmperez
Ashlee Reyes
I can't look at the sky
I can't stare at the waves
Is happiness being by your side though
Knowing that i'll be gone in the morning
This love continuing to be unsaved

I want my eyes to forget your
I want my heart to forget
That I hadn't felt this whole
Ever since.

My lips can meet new ones
I can touch other faces
I can feel the enchanting heat of the sun,
But the thoughts of you remain
Without waste.

You remain
In fragments of my life
Even if it comes with a side of pain

The sky used to keep me sane
Until it's inconsistent patterns
Screamed your name

The waves used to be my muse
Until its source of joy in my life
Reminded me that in yours
I am not and am only of
Temporary use.
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