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I have been told multiple times that I talk about my mental health issues way too much. I have been accused of sharing my story to gain attention. I have been accused of using my past as a way to get people to feel sorry for me. However, that could not be further from the truth. I talk about my mental health issues openly because I know what it's like to be alone and suffer in silence. I do it for the ones who are struggling and who do not have a voice out of fear of being told to shut up. I am not the one that needs attention. The topic of mental health issues are what needs attention. I do not need anyone feeling sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for me. Everyone goes through some kind of hell in their lives  and my battle with mental health is my hell. The ones who complain about me speaking out are always the ones who get off on telling people to be quiet. They are the kind of people who are ignorant and are so quick to judge issues they know nothing about. I refuse to be silenced. I refuse to let others who are in my shoes to be silenced. I refuse to let negative people get to me. I spent so long living in silence as well as many others trying to cover up the mental health issues in our world today because it makes people uncomfortable. It's time to speak up. It's time to be educated on these issues. It's time to make a difference so we can save more lives.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 1, 2016 Tuesday 12:09 PM
My hands have had it, I look at them now,
Holding a pencil, is like strangling a cow.
My thumb and forefinger, seize like a vice,
The other digits join in, they don't need to ask twice.

The scar on my palm was from Ninety-Four,
Club Hammer versus Chisel, lets call it a draw.
The **** on my thigh, shaped like an "M" for Mother,
From when I stepped through, a rusty manhole cover
Thirty stitches later, "Och, keep still Hen . . . . "
I never drank Whiskey on that Site again.

The pain in the elbows, from pushing a wheelbarrow,
Up Bostal Hill, Steyning, that was three foot too narrow,
To get a Dumper through, so we shifted it by hand,
Eight cubic metres of concrete, to the promised land.

The copper complexion, the grey in the hair,
Every crease, every wrinkle, shows the way that we wear.
A revelation I had
While watching a lad
Who swore, he was President Lincoln

Couldn't be, I did say
What had made him this way
Seriously, what was he thinkin

Oh so happy he seemed
He was living his dream
If only the Doctors could see

He was content just to stay
In his dream world all day
So I prayed this would happen to me

Now my sadness has lifted
And my thoughts are all sifted
Only delusions remain

I might seem a bit odd
In my mind I'm a God
Yes, as you guessed, I'm insane

Yours truly,

George Washington
You were always strong.
The world is only
giving you
The chance
To show it
Somewhat ironic, but mostly true. We all need a reminder of how strong we really are.
Tear
Gas
Has
No
Use
When
People
Are
Already
Crying
And these dreams will be the death of me.
Broken sleep &
relentless lethargy.
I'm out of control,
so I'm told.
I've slipped outside of my soul,
or so I'm told.
My nose runs consistently,
Yet I don't have a cold.
Now everything hurts,
and yet I feel so cold.
REM dream sequences;
play me on repeat.
play on repeat,
Everybody hurts too but they carry on,
Won't admit defeat.
Not me,
I bend under the pressure,
Malleable,
& then break what's,
Valuable.
I'm weak at the knees,
alieness in alloness of stress;
Please let me rest,
Stop stealing my shut eye by looking in to mine,
I walked the line,
But crossed it,
No going back now I think,
I shudder each time I blink.
And in dreams I believe I could be happy,
Or at least not so sad,
Wishing to feel those feelings
That I've predominately lacked.
Now in dreams I wait to see a GP
in reality,
So he can endorse these feelings into clarity,
Prescribe me patronisingly with 50mg of setraline;
"I'm sure alls not as bad as it seems"
He says so candidly,
Whilst I'm sat here,
can't even speak,
trapped at the mercy of these endorphinemachines.
All aboard the crazy train
were going for a ride
tickets out! bags are packed
let's see the countryside

No stops until we get there
a day trip to remember
Still a passenger in spring
though I boarded in September

I pull the cord to stop the ride
This wasn't mentioned in the brochure
'Hang on tight!!'  the driver calls
'It's a crazy, mad adventure!'

Corners that just twist and turn
slamming baggage, luggage flies
hanging on for dear life
'Ain't this fun!' the driver cries

Speeding past the stations
never stopping, never slowing
passengers are screaming
drivers eyes are red and glowing

The devil rides beside me
holds my hand and screams my name
the ride, a rolling death trap
and drives me fearfully insane

This was not what I signed up for
The train hurtles off the track
wreckage, twisted metal
I want my money back
Inspired somewhat by the crazy ride in
***** Wonker and the Chocolate Factory.
:o)
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