I am lost
for words
for feelings
for everything in between you and what could be
for all that cannot be.

I am lost
in your eyes
in this confusion
in this complicated mix of delusions and false reassurances
in my own dreams and goals.

There are still a lot of things I need to prove
to you
to everyone else
and most especially, to myself.

You’re still;
You’ll always be;
A part of me.
The thought of you
hits the spot
like the first time:
warm and easy.
Your home
is in my heart;
custom-made
to fit you
entirely;
still.

And when I think of you
I feel good about myself
And it doesn't matter if I'm broke
Or if 3am makes me sad

Because when I think of you
I am proud of myself
And it doesn't matter if I'm a mess
Or if some things can't be fixed

As I think of you
And realize all these
I fear for my life

I can't contain these feelings
Or cage them in my heart

So here is my ink, my blood
My skin made of paper,
I surrender all that matters
Please
Don't come to me with matches
Or with the fire in your soul
Because I easily burn.