everyday I’m stared into
cried to, confessed to
when the face appears in my vision,
she usually stays a while,
never looking the same from the time she arrives
to the moment she leaves,
face outline and colorful one moment
smudged and plain the next

on occasion she has a lover to show me
taking up a space I could never fill,
telling her sweet little words that ring in her ears
but they come and they go,
never long to stay,
no one like me.
they don’t see it all
the highs, the lows
her smiles and bright eyes
as they dim at night

when her hope seems lost
i wish to cradle her
wrap her in arms that i cannot afford
i wish she saw herself the way i see her
i wish those she brought around gave her more
but she always returns to me, day after day
staring into my eyes and speaking to me
she knows i am voiceless yet she feels me listening
unless

unless she speaks only to herself
the reflection she stares at
she doesn’t see me,
just her eyes in my sight
that’s the thing about mirrors
we’re all an illusion

Today a year ago
I was a different person
nothing but dread for the future
fear of the past
fright for the days to come

But times change
and people, too

Some things come
blessings in disguise
masked by the shadow
holding light down inside

With love guiding the way,
a passionate embrace,
I can truly say

We'll make it out alive.

When I write, I feel free
Because there's power in my words
And freedom in my voice

When I write, I feel free
Because my thoughts make a difference
To me and those who view it

When I write, I feel free
Because there's a moment of escape
Each time I touch the keys

So I thank this moment for its power
As my mind releases thoughts
And my heart embraces freedom

Artists and designers,
Schemers and conspirators.
The deeper the meaning,
the harder to cope.
With every brush stroke,
a new sliver of hope.
Like poets and authors,
each page is their canvas,
a place to create
a moment of magic.
Wrote from the heart,
this beautiful art,
evoking feelings
for all who are able
to marvel it.

Burial grounds stand
Where guarded walls once stood

The shots blazed through,
Shattering impermeable pieces

Now I’m laying here,
terrified,
wounded,
defenseless.

I wake up and my face is red
From tears the night before
I do my makeup all nice
I put my best clothes on
And wear a smile on my lips
But don’t get too close
Because if you look in my eyes

You’ll see all that I hid away.

I sat in class today,
a longing look in my eye
as I watched the clock
tick as the minutes went by.

It was a monotonous morning
with the teacher's long lecture,
so I proceeded to turn
my attention elsewhere.

I looked out the window
and to my surprise,
a flurry of snowflakes
fell from the sky.

Who would have thought
that April Fools Day would be followed
by a day full of snow, so bright and so careful?

It's both beautiful and terrifying,
the unseen effects a collection of words
can have on a person.

And you may never know your impact.

If I cannot convince myself
that I am all right,

How could I possibly
convince anyone else?

From the inside view
of the raging waters,
everything spun, twisted,
overwhelmed in a flurry.

I took a deep breath,
opened my eyes;
and to my surprise,
you were there to guide me.

You're a beautiful beacon in my sullen storms.

Sunlight brightens
tips of trees,
melting into
purple and blue
What a beautiful
afternoon

Don't tell a soul,
You say when you're through.
Don't tell a soul that I did this to you.
I nod my head silently,
Face covered in tears.
I have to comply,
You're the worst of my fears.

I’m choking on sobs,
My hurt is overflowing.
But you’re sitting there smug,
Amused and glowing.

You walked away that day with little to say,
Not caring about the way I felt,
Not caring about me; without a doubt.
You left me and my ravished skin,
You left me, your most heinous sin.

Though you've moved on and gone your way,
I'll never forget that horrible day.

After the pain is less noticeable,
after the teardrop count lessens,
after the hurt becomes a dull ring
instead of a blaring siren,
you're left in a dreary state,
a frame of mind where
you're not bothered
by the same sadness
you're just wandering,
solemn, emotionless, and
numb.

I’m like a game
I’ll return to the shelf
for I have been played

It’s never too late to decide
that you want to change your mind

The stars sing
The deer dance
The trees tremble

The wind whines
The moon murmurs
The wolves whimper

And the curtains close
as you open your eyes
and behold the dreamy dawn.

The future is in a plastic bag,
easy to see and possible to reach.
The contents are all muddled inside,
one big blur of possibilities.

I could stick my hand in and feel around,
blindly grasping shapes and outcomes.
Or I could wait it out, see them spill out,
and have it all revealed at once.

But when I look inside, the only truth
is that I can hope and wait.

rise in the sun,
flourish and grow.
spread the delicacy,
open up to the world.
let the light shine
and beginnings begin,
because flowers seize opportunity.

overwhelmed
by fear, by passion, by pain

burdened
by memories, by reminders, by faces

and yet

prepared
for joy, for care, for love

hopeful
for growth, for improvement, for change

people get on
     and people get off.

young and old,
     fraile and bold.

i often wonder
     will my time come?

but a torn ticket
seems to say

     i'll be here
           another day.

Through your eyes, the world is gray
Not much to smile upon, a blurry disarray
You approach the day with an endless frown,
Your only wish is that you weren't around.
You curse the heavens and blame the stars,
Because there's a torment inside you, you hate who you are.
You hate the cold glares as you walk through the halls,
You're desperate to hide so you stick to the walls.

But there's a single escape, an easy remedy
A way to reach serenity.

It's a thought bubbling in your mind,
A simple solution, redefined.
It'll end all your troubles and end all your pains,
Releasing the throb from yesterday.

As you pick up the bottle and hear the pills rattle inside,
You take a deep breath and realize you're terrified.
You're overcome with emotion as you imagine a friend,
How would they feel if your life were to end?
You have family and friends and teachers and peers
A future ahead, where everything clears.

It may take some time, perhaps even years,
But you know in the end you'll get rid of your fears.

You imagine a dog, a pup you adore
Laying beside you with a little snore.
You envision the beach, your toes in the sand
A lover beside you, holding your hand.
You picture a snow day, you're inside with the heat
A mug in your hand, hot chocolate so sweet.
You see young children laughing, a grandmother grinning
A colorful playground, and that’s just the beginning.

These are all little things, moments so small,
But you realize you'd be heartbroken to miss out on them all.
Though the present is tough, it’s not tougher than you,
There's so much to live for, and that much is true.

a long dreary day
and a cold lonely night

sad music flowing
and salty tears falling

pen on the paper
and words coming out

closing my eyes
sleep’s overcoming

I’ve read too much romance,
each page is my poison
filling me with hopes and expectations so grand
but deep down I know how unlikely it is
because a fairytale romance is exactly that
just a story someone made to fill their desire
how could the author be such a beautiful liar

they see my face and see my smile
but they don't want to listen and stay for a while.
I keep my emotions private,
hide my deepest thoughts
leaving everyone seeing tiny snapshots.
a view through a haze,
an unnerving gaze,
no one will know my point of view.
no one will know what's really true.

delicate flowers
like a fragile heart
easy to tear
soft to the touch

blossoming under the warm
the rays of tender care

but quick to wilt and crumple

under a stormy sky,
the flower hides
afraid of the tears,
the rain

but all that it needs
is the thing many perceive

is it really love?

Lost and forgotten are the whispers and the promises
The start was floating, drifting around
Surrounded by a sea of mystery, of pain, of sadness
In the present I’m stranded
Standing on an island of betrayal
The waves are the disappointment lapping at my toes and flooding my senses
Nowhere to be free, nowhere to escape

Feelings are like chains bound to the ground
The ground the expectations, the plans, and the broken dreams
The chains the haunting memories, the nightmares, and the many missing hopes

Everyday it’s harder to breathe,
harder to rise,
harder to strive for the old carefree self that I once knew
Suffocated by his face, his words, his strong hold on everything I thought to be mine

Consumed by a feeling so many desire
A feeling that rips and tears and mercilessly destroys

There’s no control when there’s pain inside you
There’s no control when the images slip by you
There’s no control when the warnings breeze past you

How can one thing, one moment in time
Break you, shake you, leave you stumbling around the broken world
Everything’s different;
nothing’s the same
When your heart is torn and ripped away

Piece by piece—
Nothing more than whispers and promises