It's an ecstasy.

Something that you can't live without,
something that you keep craving for,
something that you keep wanting more.

It's more than a fire, like a hypernova inside of me:
reaching every inch of me, locking my thought, my conscious, my movement….

You're the drug that keeps me awake, sedation that puts me to sleep.
You're the ocean that I'm drowning into, the oxygen that I needed.
You're are the light in my midnight sky.
It's you.

But when I look around, all I see is this haze that slowly suffocating me.
When I turn around, all I can see is you.
The little hope in me grew a little every time I see you.
But when I look around, every things suddenly sinks.

You.
Drugged me into this chaotic world.
I.
Fell so hard for you, it's getting hard to breathe.

It's you.

putting away my silent mask,
pulling away my oxygen tank,
my heart beat won't slow down,
my pulse stopped when I saw….

it's alright, you're out of my sight anyway,
I'm alright, sitting in a plane to Neverland,
it's alright, yes it's alright

cause she got those trusting lips,
and she got those thrusting hips,
I'm left out with a flat empty feeling,
but it's alright, yes it's alright

you know you scored so **** well,
yet I'm struggling with a basic plan,
but it's alright, cause you're just an imitation
of a mind game, that I tried so hard to re-create

so it's alright.

but you got that golden ticket at the back of your head
you got that eyes that wonder around the world
and I'm left with nothing but an empty state

I'm wired to not pull the trigger but to anchor and drown.
The deep blue ocean where it holds all the pain and sorrow.
Swept by the currents and waves and to be lost within it.
I never wanted this.

Truth was, this kills me as much as it kills you.
It jabbed right through me, deeper than your wound.
It felt like the world was against me and I can't breathe.

I can't escape.

from ashes to ashes, I carried myself in return for a sense.
from the demon of my broken youth, I thought I could teach the timekeeper to fence.
from my heartache that lingers, I slowly losing my own defence.

the golden child will pull the trigger
the golden child will pull the anchor
the golden child will pull the dagger

pass my youth, I kept myself under the radar.
but it didn't stop me from being filled with wonder.
unfortunately, it had to stop ever since the blunder.

thunderstorm.

it's too late anyway.

In a well lit room...
slowly dancing,
heart burning,
mind racing:

"when there's a smoke, there's fire but I'm such a good liar"

The arsonist kept its distance, carving its fuel in silence.
But it wasn't enough to ignite a spark, yet it burned the diamonds.
No ashes but to combust, consumed by the hour: lost in a timeless horizon.

for all eternity: all I wanted was just to breathe the chlorinated mind that I closed to peak.

but I can't carve the music that impend my arrival;
I'm swaying with the rhythmic of the bloodstream in my vein;
I'm merely a suggestion, not strong enough to ignite the sparks,
not a fireworks that bleed for beautiful thoughts at night.