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 Feb 2016 Curlan Eiruc
enin
drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin

separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin

screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the  acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real

obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in

remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.
 Feb 2016 Curlan Eiruc
tc
i am a prisoner to your fingertips and i am recidivating and falling in love with a jail cell is not glamorous but i’m not sure how to stop
i have scraped my fingernails with barbed wire trying to get rid of you, why won’t you leave?
there are gaps between our teeth so the breath between you and i can keep us alive during the times we binge on kisses
is this what it feels like to be an addict?
i cannot rest until your lungs have swallowed my consciousness and for a heart to keep beating there must be a reason and this is why people die of heartbreak because ******* it, there is no reason without you
my heart hasn’t stopped beating; i think it is just as hopeful
teeth don’t always have to bite so why do you use them as weapons?
not only am i a prisoner to your fingertips but to your mind, to the gaps between your teeth even when you can’t bear to kiss me, to the idea that one day i’ll receive a get-out-jail-free card and you’ll be waiting at the iron gates for me
i don’t have a release date but i expect i’ll be serving a lifelong sentence
i am barricaded in and all i can hear is your voice all i can see is your face all i can do is clutch on to the voice i lost a long time ago but i would scream if i could and do you know how lonely it is being a prisoner in an abandoned jail?
i am a prisoner to your body and every time you demand my touch, i am there and every time you throw me away, locked up and silenced for days, i am not plotting my escape
i am famished and starved and famished and starved, i think it’s because you keep swallowing my consciousness and no amount of food will fill me; i have grown accustomed to being empty
i am a prisoner to your fingertips and i have fallen in love with this jail cell home
recidivating:
legal term for reoffending
Tell me who can
Catch a toucan?
Lou can.

Just how few can
Ride the toucan?
Two can.

What kind of goo can
Stick you to the toucan?
Glue can.

Who can write some
More about the toucan?
You can!
I saw her sitting on a bar chair
Tall ebony skinned and dark hair
I couldn't take off my gaze on her
I watch her lips as she sip through the glass
Her skin shining and glowing like a black diamond
I couldn't think of anything else but her
Deep inside me I know I fell for her
I haven't seen her before, but it seems as if I have known her all my life

Never knew she was also taking a gaze at me not until our eyes meet each other
I never wanted her to notice I was into her, but I felt she knew already cos she gave me a welcome smile
I was overwhelm by her smile, I started having stupid thoughts about her
Maybe she is also into me
Maybe she fell for me as I did
Maybe the feelings  is mutual

I left my seat to hers
Never. Said a word
She said to me take me home
Its a **** cold night
Take me by the hands
Take me somewhere new
Yes I don't know u
But am with u
I feel I knew u from far
I felt so excited cos am actually right about the smile she gave me
We felt same for each other for the first time
We felt we have known each other for a life time
We felt same thing
Same day
Same time
Same moment
We felt love at first sight

Love at first sight is for real
Cos we human love our mums at first at sight at birth
it's easy to forget I'm human isn't it?
I'm not ungrateful I just express my feelings differently
I often keep them to myself and when that doesn't work I'll lay then into a rhyming pattern that hopefully people read

so yes I'm weird as all get out and I don't think the way you do
I'm human or did you forget that fact too?
I guess its easy to forget that when you misread the ***** under my hat
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