They said my lines were weak
So I learned not to speak
     I decided not to speak

Now the lines are stuck in my mind
Driving me insane
Stay in your lane

I'm a girl who loves to dance
Yet too afraid to give it a chance
Utterly bored with myself
Wishing to purely connect

Aching for
the courage
the tools
the words
To get out of this rut

All my ideas swirl into gray lines
That fill my mind
And fuel the emptiness
That keeps me from feeling alive
Left only with a penchant for pleasing

I just laugh it off
Then cry dry tears at night
Where did I go?
Can you see me?
I'm lost in the monotony
Can you save me?
Can I save me?

my legs are closed now
so it's all through to you

you say:
what a night
you're fantastic
well
that was fun
while it lasted

I say:
oh yeah
well
go on now
get gone

but despite my efforts
to deny it
to hide it

my young heart
is ripped open,
in two
because
it's through

wondering your answers
to the questions
left behind
in my mind

what's your middle name?
where do you take proper girls
on a first date?
am i just a flake,
full of hate?

do you have a favorite
cursive letter?
if you loved someone,
when would you tell her?

how will you make a living?
(certainly not by drinking)

does your mother know you're
a lying lush?
do you know that you're
a lousy ****?

will you remember me?
i hope to forget you soon
although it's doubtful
but i have to
to get my soul full
again

wondering the answers
until I indulge once more
and my heart is torn
into 4, then 8
until it disintegrates

I say:
go on
get gone
don't make
me late

Puke puke puke
Pity self pity puke
Laugh
Smile pity puke
Help
Pity puke
Ignore
Puke puke puke
Pity help puke
Ignore
Ignore
Ignore again
Puke again
Yell
Again
Loud. Very loud. Scream
Rudabega
Fade
Where do we go from here

She rests in the emptiness,
full of love, full of pain.
She spins in the light,
She shines.

Full of love, full of greed,
She cries in the darkness.
Full of love, full of hate,
She shines.

She twirls through the void,
full of love, full of love.
She suffers a birth,
She shines.

She screams to her children,
full of love, full of fear.
Her children don't listen,
She dies.

She is dead.
She is dead.
....
She is dead.

Her children are fading,
full of fear, full of pain.
She spins in the dark,
they die.

She rests in the emptiness,
full of love, full of pain.
She spins on forever,
She shines.