I hope you love her & not the idea...of...her

Oh wow
You're like a summer breeze
         nonexistent
hot
dry
vivid
    I can't look at you
you burn brighter
I hide inside
to stay cool
cold
buried
Arizona sunrise
Alaskan sunset
Stars dance
painfully distant
too close
  Pools form in your eyes
galaxies
  
I swim in the empty spaces

I'm a prisoner in my own mind

It tells me that I'm a nobody and that I'm just letting my life go to waste.

I will stand here and feel sorry for myself, knowing that every day that goes by I'm one day closer to dying without doing anything special in my life.

It's a daily reminder that I'm running out of time to do what I really want to do with my life.

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night,  they are the thoughts that make me realize sometimes I'm not okay and honestly it's okay not to be okay.

I'm just tired of pretending and living a life full of lies.

Cause on the outside everything seems calm but in my mind it is full of loud and anxious thoughts telling me that I'm not good enough.

It's an endless battle between my  life and my mind, and it's time to admit that I'm scared I'm going to lose this war.

Anxiety never stops eating you alive, and it will make you believe that every little piece of anxiousness or sadness that you get is your fault.

I don't want to feel hopeless

and I always told myself I never will be

But then you noticed me

and all of a sudden

I didn't believe in hope.

in the depth of the night
i awake
my head hurts like my heart
am i betrayed
are there lies left to say

you find me upside down
knifethrower
put a knife in my core
need to discover
it doesn't matter anymore

it's only me now
face the emotional loneliness
be close to yourself
they say
and nothing less