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I was empty and you filled me, and I thought it was good like flowers growing in the cracks, but I was wrong; you were a tree that took root in the middle of my sidewalk and broke the cement apart and left me crumbling
Can I tell you my secrets
Can I feed you my lies
I don't belong here, it doesn't feel right
Let me escape into the night
While you look into my eyes,
Let me die at the knees of your shrine
I don't know what I want
But I know it's not to hold this light
Let me run, run away tonight

My fate, the blue face
My stomach turning to the sick pace
The tell of the end
As my heartbeat goes,
My skin turns
Say goodbye for me
As I should
Say goodbye to me
If you could
Let me rest
Let me go with ease
It was never the morning
That made me sick
Born to rot
Here with the return of the sick tongue
Everyday ******* in the death of tomorrow
Through these poison lips
**** me before it does
**** me before I slip
And I am taken without consent  
I feel it coming
Say goodbye for me
I want to say hello to the end
It's the way Petrucci's guitar paints
Itself with one long stroke onto

LaBrie's voice at the
Beginning of the solo,

And the way we both look
Up at each other with eyes that

Know more about Dream Theater
Than most, smiling in new born

Infatuation and goosebumps
Shared, that I know that I'm in

The kind of sweet, sweet trouble
That sneaks in through your

Guard without you noticing; the
Path-to-heart that has been cleared

By little things upon little things;
How a good producer uses

Barely audible elements to lift a
Song into grace and perfection.

Lunch pack made with fresh love,  
Something like soft electricity

Between our skins; relaxed islands
In a carefree ocean. Music, music,

Music. She shreds the fastest air
Guitar this side of the coast, and

I just want to stay. Dig. Hang. Hold. I
Have nothing I want to escape to,

And with the song that will be ours
As long as she's mine, and remind

Me of us forever after, I find peace
In restlessness on the floor of her

Apartment, as if it's her singing
*This distance in my voice

Isn’t leaving you a choice,
So if you’re looking for a time to

Run away... you won’t find it here,
Look another way.

You won’t find it here.  
So try another day.
who will read aloud
my poems
when I'm gone?

that old unfriended thot,
a nagging merry query
was for awhile forgot,
put on the back of an upper shelf,
where dust motes and mites
fear to trend

thoughts,
that I thought
I had dispensed with,
letting time
build illusionary wry walls,
fooling World Trade Center tall

morose forlorn,
pensiveness of
red ant armies,
incapable of
black marker redaction,
there is always one
a lingering malingerer
a sole fado singer,
playing woeful jazz in
the Quarter
on an empty emoty street,
dressed and guised
as the soul of a solitary
cancerous cell
"survivor"

cur overlooked,
biding time,
the surgeons gone,
the drugs flushed,
radiation burning
no more

begins then
the unholy
trilogy cycle

worn out, overused...
invasive categorically relentless
maybes,
what ifs,
then
oh goddamnnotagain

because believed, on knee,
I oathed that
loathed, raven nevermore,
ought
that
cracked door would be open

yet like the
New Orleans levee aged locks
hurricane succumbed
overflowed, overcome,
keyholed, infiltrated,
falllen to the enemy,
mes enfilade,
rumps up the black flag of
surrender

brain sneers
periodically,
like every other
minute, ok,
second,
coyly asking
penny for your
worthless thoughts?

just when you believed
"no mas"
was a prayer that had been heard,
teeth kicked in,
body snatching
hordes and boors
bad boys and ******,
sitting high in the
saddle again,
grinning torturous
tarty smiles
at who,
at you, fool!

you're as alone in that place
as insufficiently as that
impoverished overused
word can ere convey

the nagging realization
that when asking

no one answers

when your thinkings
perish you
your cutesy sweatshirt reads
last standing poet alive,
stabbed ded by awful-truths,
you failed and
all the black cats,
have fled the neighborhood,
just when need was greatest

who will read aloud
my poems when I'm gone,
has been silently answered

by silent applause,
the last theater goer
shuffles out, and turns
and extends his *******
his review leaves a
singular impression,
he looks familiar,
gauntly ghost,
he has accompanied me always
and his finger is his
triumphal parting shot
 Aug 2014 ComplicatedCharmer
meg
I remember when I was in the hospital and I didn't sleep for two days straight because I swore to god that if I did the demons would step out from under the bed and seep into my head.

I remember when it was three am, and I was shaken awake from the girl three doors down shrieking from the night terrors that her mother embedded into her skull with her fist and a belt when she was eight. But, they were then stored away until she was thirteen years old and a man swore that he'd beat her if she didn't cooperate. So, now they hide during the day, and creep back up when the sun falls.

I remember when I witnessed a boy unintentionally scratch at his skin until he bleed for an hour because the voices inside of his mind told him that if he didn't hurt anyone else, he would just have to hurt himself. and he swears he'd never hurt anyone besides himself.

I remember when I met a girl who had cuts up and down her arms and legs from when her mother told her she'd never survive the world because she isn't good enough. But, I swear to god that she was the strongest person I've ever met.

I remember when my roommate stayed up all night rocking with bloodshot eyes and deep purple circles underneath of them because she swore that if she slept the monsters inside of her head would crawl out and bleed into her soul.

I remember when the boy five doors down hit the wall so hard that it shook the entire unit because he hallucinated a man and a little girl trying to strangle him, and he swore he could feel the noose around his neck.  

even through all of this, for some odd reason teenagers think it's lovely to have deep scars and to hear voices telling them to **** themselves and everyone around them. I swear, nothing is lovely about demons eating at your brain and thoughts.

I remember when it was four am, and I was up weeping from the fact that people think my suffering is lovely.

I can swear to you, it's not.
***** hiding that I went to a mental ward. because I think that this is the best poem I've ever written.
I have an obsession with the sky
The way the sun shines through the clouds
The sun is so bright
Making everything light up
I have an obsession with the sky
Simply because it is limitless
Once you go up there is no stopping
I stare up there everyday
Wishing I could go up
Get away from down here
I have an obsession with the sky
Because it is my escape
-te
I will try.
The feeling of a hot cup of coffee on a rainy day,
The warmth of the blanket on a cold night,
The want to stay in bed every morning,
The first time witnessing snow fall,
The satisfaction of having cake,
These feelings of ecstasy,
Put altogether,
That is kind of how it feels to love you.
And much more
Of a nefarious shadow that followed
Her eyes of blue serene were nonchalant
As she wended the verdant lanes.
.
The lanes she trod like an esplanade
Her ears could perceive no rant
Of a nefarious shadow that followed.
.
The phantom to her was an Adonis
And yet, oblivion to herself she did grant
As she wended the verdant lanes.
.
The undefined was lurking closer
Unacquainted while on her errant
Of a nefarious shadow that followed.
.
That aisle could pave way to her hearse
Unaware she; of the dangers nearing every instant
As she wended the verdant lanes.
.
That peaceful sienna her eyes were at
Oblivious of the slow augury chant
Of a nefarious shadow that followed
As she wended the verdant lanes.
I am going to tell you a story.
A short story.
A terrible one.
It might be me. It might not be.
I did not know him.
I did not know anybody around.
It was a new class.
He sat behind me.
The lecture commenced.
He touched my back.
Accidentally, I assumed.
I forgave him in my mind.
And I did not turn back.
Another time.
Must be accidental, again.
Forgivance granted.
Turned back? Haha no.
Thrice?
Four times in a row?
I could have turned back and glared.
I did not.
I ignored him.
I hate myself for that.
Suddenly I felt a hand in my top.
I was shocked.
I panicked within.
But put on a calm front.
And did not turn back.
I ignored him again.
I hate myself more, for that.
His hand
Reached my right breast.
I have no clue how.
I felt as though I was dead already.
Strangely
The people around us were oblivious;
Of the heinous crime in procession.
He very casually lingered about.
And very casually pulled his hand back.
All content.
I ignored him, hahah.
Did not turn back, still.
I so hate myself for that.
This might seem insignificant to one.
A matter too trifling to controvert about.
But it was not. For me.
The lecture ended.
Later on?  
A meek complain, I did.
But it was as ignored.
As his malice was by me.
But on much persistence and support.
I stood up again.
I did not resist his advances then, yes.
That was bad.
But understand,
One cannot.
But I finally gathered some courage.
To stand up against it.
Against him.
He was a *****, hahah.
Inbox-ed me an apology on Facebook!
Had a 'sorry' been a solution,
This would have been a perfect world.
But it is not.
I had a proof now
Though.
Of his evil deed.
Thanks to Facebook.
The screenshot was shown,
And punished was he.
I had never felt so happy!
Third of August.
Twenty-thirteen.
It has been a year.
I overcame my apprehensions,
The miseries, the horrors.
To be the happy me.
That I now am.
I still regret not having taken a stand.
At the very moment I was supposed to.
Sigh.
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