In this bed of slumber
All I think of is the ******
What life's course left me with
Something so unseen.
Something that I need.
This place of mine is contradictory.
Full of the intended okays..
Filled with unintentional should haves..
It's something I see daily
Yet I deal with it so fragilely

Always fine,
Maybe I'm blind
One drink too many
Captain was poured short
Always fine
Maybe I'm blind
Four pills
They shake it all down
Maybe I'm blind
Maybe I'm always fine.

one of a kind
all the same
i detach like a leaf from a branch
i slowly fall with the help of gusts
however i still end up on the same destination
as the leaves that fell before me
i just had a different path
one that was windy
and happened on a rainy day

I don't want to come off depressed
However that's what this is nonetheless
I lay in bed
And I lay on couches
I think about how there's places better than this
I think about how I'm tired of the circles I've been running since April.
This is what September brings.
Thoughts of irrational things
Thoughts of harm
Definitely thoughts of death
It'd be this month that this depression overtakes me.
It'd be this month, the ninth one, to teach myself a lesson.
Depression is more than this.
It's when words make you cry
     Though I did
It's when a person's touch makes you tremble
    Which it did
It's when you're in denial
      Which I am
It's when you can't be alone for fear of self
       Here I am
       Scared to death
That's what September is.

I'll write about the girl who looked elegantly out of the beat up car's window. She has flash that has turned porcelain. She had a mind more brilliant than others. The porcelain girl has courage like her flesh version didn't. The porcelain girl is here in place of the felsh. The girl in flesh is laid elegantly under the trees she watched pass by.

she sat alone
with coffee on her breath
looking at her phone
finding the hairs
that you left two nights ago
reminding her
life doesn't have to be so lonely
even after you are realizing
that your own best friend
is someone you no longer know