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 Aug 2018
Ameliorate
I am a tree
At least, that’s how I see myself right now
My leaves have turned green and inevitably they will fall off and I will become barren, even the trees change
But we don’t want them to
I always admired my strength, though lately I am not strong
I feel the warmth of the late spring breeze on my skin
Something I waited for all winter,
But now that it’s here it feels wrong
Everyone is in a blissful stupor
Screaming none-sense at the local bar
******* and flirting with intoxication
Drowning whatever sorrow or filling whatever void with mindless stupid things
I hate them
I hate the men brawling in the streets, after a night cocking about trying to impress females
Silence can be comfortable which is why I’m drawn to winter
Spring is a hopeful time, but how come it’s never easier each time you have to pick yourself back up?
Twenty eight and I don’t know what I’m doing
Two months, coasting through this tangible blissful ******* proud for all the wrong reasons
Maybe I never had anything
The trees sway, rustling of leaves through the breeze
I can’t imagine they enjoy when they lose their leaves, either.
 Jul 2018
Silence Screamz
Broken lines on subway walls, twisted dolls, and high noon cat calls
This is the way I see life
It is a micosm of our failed society,
with a beaten down view on stained glass, shattered on the empty church floor begging us to pray over a God that we can't see or touch.
Kneeling in front of the wooden church pews, with two bruised knees yelling out in pain our convictions into some sort of religious echo chamber of  somber and remorse
So, you want us to believe in what is real or what is not!!!
What is this so called life you speak of?
It sounds like a messed up Shakespeare tragedy
A sad tragedy that surrounds every living soul like some God forsaken circus freak dressed up ******* in a clown suit
A souless tragedy that beats down the door of our hearts then shreds it into tiny pieces, only to leave it on the ***** kitchen table to rot in front of us
Yes, that so called life
Its hard to imagine what I have seen
what I touched, or what I have felt inside
I cannot explain it in simple words, it's complicated
It's more bad than good, destitute and diluted, forgotten and then deleted
It has all become a tragic piece of me
Why? Because I live it every single day, every single minute, every single second and every single breathe
So, let that sink in. Just tragic in a way, tragically distorted mindless thoughts trapped in each one of us.
 Jul 2018
Dhia Awanis
Maybe home,
is not a place
not even a person
but instead a feeling

It is a feeling where you can finally
adapt to your society and
be comfortable to walk in your skin
without being afraid or scared anymore

And now I'm homesick
 Jul 2018
Dhia Awanis
I couldn’t help myself but longing for your existence
It felt strange to have my body wrapped and my back rubbed by someone that is not you
It felt unfamiliar not to hear you talk about the weather and the sky after you question my day
It felt odd to feel the stain of coffee left on his lips—because it ain’t the one you used to sip

I couldn’t help myself but wonder about the probability of us
Tell me that being stucked in traffic jam doesn’t make you wish you were spending it with me
Tell me that your feet don’t dance to Ella Fitzgerald and suddenly missing the tip of my toes on top of them
Tell me that when you look at her face, you don’t search even an ounce of my warmth there

I couldn't help myself but pleading for your mercy
Forgive me that I almost forget the way your laughter sounds or the way you sigh when you feel hopeless;
or the transition in your voice when you get mad but choose not to show it
or how your fingers fit the spaces between mine perfectly—and God, do I miss them
 Jul 2018
Dhia Awanis
Through the gap
between paragraphs,
I found remedy

Through the pause
between melodies,
I found serenity

Through the crack
between shattered glass,
I found wisdom

Through the space
between His fingers,
I found home
have faith in God, for every dark tunnels light awaits
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