Sitting here in the dark
Afraid to go to the park

I might burn like a vampire
I feel like a wild wire

I'm alone in this cruel world
No one to hold on to make life easier in this twisted whorl

I'm scared I'll die alone
But really does it matter the demons say they will never leave me because their bad to the bone

Children grown and gone
I'm left all alone

I hate that the demons inside has taken over my body and soul
Coming in one by one threw the keyhole

I guess the demon stole the key that I had hidden
Where no one could see in the kitchen

The key holds my soul intact
Now I'm left with a key hole open for the demons to be let in whenever they want to attack

They come and go with out fear
While I lay here in tears

I wish I'd made another key
Then I could lock the door to my soul for keeps and be set free

The demons have captured my soul
Turning my soul into captivity in the black hole

I want to break free
But it's not in me

For this demon is to strong
I've lost all hope in beating this demon for now I'll play along

I'll lay here a bit longer to build up my strength
For maybe one day I'll beat this demon who lives with me day and night driving me insane

I am not me like what you want me to be
        I am here like you always wanted me to be
How could I ever be me, the me I want to be

I’m tired of you, tired of crying in the dark.
pretending at the park
                - watching people talk with voices that barks
I feared it will spark an awful reaction stark
So I build an ark -
Sailed away into far,
                      far - dream land
where prejudice & judgment is not in our hands
but in the all caring higher being's commands.

Then again reality is never like that,
So I hide, I stumble, and I fall
     into the gray solace of my patience
The higher being cares, yet you need choices
to stay strong - fight and survived
                        until blessings comes along
                                and heal the dying soulful song.

© 2013

I woke late this morning from too much "fun" last night
Yes, I was back down "L" street perched on my bench
I tried to wear colours, but they didn't show through the dark
And I put a clasp in my hair
I thought I looked a little less than dead
The cherry trees in the make-shift "park" are starting to blossom
I feel bad for them because they're stuck planted there
Perhaps this is why they weep
I thought of sharing my paper bag whiskey gift
But no
So I shared my tears instead

I dreamed of two men
cold as ice in dark hats
handcuffing a woman
before tossing her in the back
of a black barred truck
with stars on the sides
and a To Protect and Serve
bumper sticker stuck like
a punchline and a baby girl
and young boy were crying
standing behind the yellow lines
but two has never been
a number that adds up to
nothing because it's only legal
to pass one at a time in these
dark days of executive orders
you fear because you know
it's all the evidence they need
to make you disappear.

Those days are still around
Right there in the eyes
Small pieces of scripture
Spiritual desperation
Down all those long years gone
Gleaming
Needing
Seething
Spitting teeth and grieving
And a child still cries
In all the bleakest nights
Within the shell of an adult
Still cries, still cries
Still prays for someone kind
To stop the shaking
And wipe away the tears
To fill the belly
To count the injuries
And fill in the forms
But nothing ever -
Somehow never -
Helps

                By Phil Roberts

It's the coward way out, it's a mind set. It's not that we aren't strong it's everything around us has come against us. The light in our eyes and heart has faded into a small glimmer from time to time. A once smiling, giggling, worry free kid is now frowned upon for thoughts that aren't "normal". It's not normal because the situation doesn't happen to all of us, that does not make sense. We are all snowflakes made the same but so very different, we acknowledge that we don't look the same, why can't we acknowledge we all do not think the same.

I need a bleach bath in some boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize

Im ***** from the inside out
Tainted
Painted
Alienated

Whiskey won't drown it out
If I'm supposed to whisper,
Hell, I'll shout

I've got problems, honey
I'm the goodbye girl
Not a taboo saved from my actions
I deal in nightmares
Whole, not fractions

Acid, can't touch my rust

I need a bleach bath in boiling water
Scrub me down with brillo and lye
Degerm,
Sanitize