I've got a hot date in Heaven..
Don't keep me up 'cause he'll be waiting,
He was my first love,
And maybe my last love,
.. Sometimes my worst love,
But we won't talk about that ;)

And i'm lying here while he sets us a table,
I've been to Amsterdam but never to the city of angels
All i know is i'm in love,
With my only best friend..
And it's a holiday i'll tell them,
I'll be back more 'heaven sent'..

But til then i'll just talk to the stars..

Oh would it be okay if i chose not to move on?
'Cause i believe in holding on,
And i believe you're holding on too
&All; the stars that alligned us,
Will hopefully find us..
Again,
And again..
And againnn..

I've got a hot date in Heaven..
Don't keep me here 'cause Augustus is waiting..
He was my first love
And maybe my last love
But always my favourite love
... Yeah i'll talk about that.

Someday i'll write about that.

Up until last week
when we used to see each other
accidentally in the hallways
of this second home,
we'd nod, sometimes smile,
rarely did we say a "hello"
or any other word.

This week
we saw each other
accidentally -  
or so you think, my dear -
and we hugged,
on the staircase of the third
floor and I was a stair lower than you
and you kissed my head and I rested
for two seconds on your arm and
accidentally (or so it seems,
my dear) kissed it.

Today
I looked into your eyes
and prayed to whoever is there
or is not      that one day
it won't be odd of me to whisper
in your ear, a word or two;
my own synonyms to "I love you."

Today,
after looking into your eyes,
you walked away
but all I wanted to say
was how I now understand
the "falling in love" metaphor
of Hazel Grace.

What would you say to me
If I told you that all things
have a name?

A name, created forever ago-
A name singular, secret and sacred-
A name that grants form?

What if I told you
that if you cried out
The Name of the Moon,

You could bathe at mid-day
under its dappled, failing shine-
playing partner to its light?

That if you called to the skies
you could surround yourself
with a span of azure infinity,

Paint sun-songs with hidden words,
Or caress cloud-worn creations while
floating in blue nothingness?

To think; You could merely utter
The Name of Oceans - That
vast implication; You could

Summon distant, breaking shores
for your own inspection and approval-
To satisfy the simplest curiosity?

Would you say it was a fantasy?
Something grand to ponder;
And then regretfully forget?

That to strum the chords of creation
with key-words and mere intentions,
Is a blasphemy?

But what if... What if
I spoke to you the Name of Love,
As soft as daylight-sighs ending?

Would you scoff at my audacity,
To arrogantly manipulate its meaning
by not letting it go free?

Or would you realize, and see-
That despite all that power, I can't find
the name for what you mean to me?

I am not the drizzle,
Nor the hurricane.
I am just the rain
That falls down on your cheeks.

I still remember
Her kisses laced with chap stick and wine
I remember her emerald eyes shining
In the dark
I remember her whispering
"To be continued?"
I know she had blackened lungs,
A messed up past
And a crooked heart
But I still loved her
With all of mine
I remember that question
That haunted her
"How will we ever get out
Of this labyrinth of suffering?"
I know all this
But I will never know
The last words she spoke

So much depends upon
The strength of that boy
That gangling brown haired boy
Who may be skin and bone
But somehow manages
To carry around the weight of loving me
Every day
And to have my burdens and baggage
On his back
But I'm scared that someday
His strength will fail him
And he'll be crushed
And I'll have been the undoing
Of the one person
I never wanted to see hurt

So much depends upon
The patience of that boy
That boy who is usually go go go
But for some reason slows down
And waits for me to catch up
And can always tell when something's wrong
And always cares
And listens to me complain
But I'm scared that someday
His patience will have run dry
And he'll take off running on his own
Because I held him back

So much depends upon
The blindness of that boy
Who is the smartest person I know
But was stupid enough
To fall in love with me
And I know it's selfish of me
But I wouldn't mind
If his love was unending
But I'm scared that someday
His blindness will dissolve
And he'll realize he deserves better
And the only person holding me together
Will hate me
As much as I hate myself