I woke up prepared for an interview I knew would occur
I passed the interview,
Got a good response,
The incentive of good pay,
And a promise of emails to further the process along

I told my brother
He wasn't happy for me

I'm going to tell my dad
He'll be happy for me

I'm going to tell my friend
They'll be happy for me

I wish I could tell my mom
But she's dead

But if she were alive
I know she'd be happy for me

She wakes me up deep in the night.

I understand you, she smiles
snuggling into me, her nose,
pressed cotton soft on my cheek

I have no strength, I cry
not one, for you

I love your weakness
love you for your weakness
her breath wafts into mine

and the boy stuck in his age
floats in the web
of the girl forever
forgiving.

You can
Hug me,
Kiss me,
And snuggle close to me.
18/11/2020.

Grinning wide by the riverside
two bubbly girls click shots
between them whisper confide
share the secret thoughts!

The giggly cutes they walk like dance
caught in a sunlit pause
not mind the boys stealing glance
seems not worth a cause!

Their cells follow where they go
the lens beamed right on face
one more please and then one more
frames add up happiness!

I was watching the sun go down
pretty much in a fix
light was getting dullish brown
would turn darkish by six!

The urge was great surged the will
it grabbed the whole of mind
to have a photo me standing still
with the river flowing behind!

The butterfly girls in the sun's last kiss
they readily said o yes
each of them took a shot apiece
my joy you can easily guess!

I miss you
Not just in the physical sense
In every sense of the word

Your unique way of doing things, its like watching a symphony of noise
You're either in complete harmony with it
Or consistently fighting against it

Your laugh
Oh your laugh
It fills my whole body with warmth
A sound I crave to hear

The smell of the top of your head, comforts me
Like a mothers embrace, I know I am safe

Day to day living never felt less mundane
Always helping wherever we felt we could
Exploring, guiding each other
Always finding refuge in one another

Life is not the same without you
Never will be without you
The emptiness, at times consumes me
Swallowing me whole
The crator you've left within me
Can only be filled by you

I hope
I have to hope

I am from my birth pillow.
I am from loneliness, sadness...
spaciness...
...I was always looking for something.

I am from dandelions and tall, tall grass.
The breeze sifted through the yard, and the
blades swayed in perfect synchrony.

I am from Christmas Eve at Grandpa's
house, and the low status gifts.  From
****** communication.  From stones, and Nelsons.

I am from living in fear,
and abandonment.  From,"You're like him."
And luckily from, "You weren't MEANT to fit in."

I am from the cross and communion, and then
realizing I cannot see his face in nature's mirror.
With my own reflection being distorted by the glass.

I am from Illinois, and Scandinavian blood...
From potato soup and at times, nothing.
I am from her absence, and how fast she left.

I am from burnt up, few remaining, and rare pictures.
I am from toys I once collected, now melted.  The pillow
I had now gone.

I am from the feeling I had a consumerists mark
on the world, but my impression is more.  More than
toys or things, I have who I am.  My memories.

I have my worth.