All I ever wanted was for mommy to say she loved her little boy. To say "I'm proud of you". To look at me without shame. All I ever lived for was to prove my worth to her. To have her recognize me, to say "I love you". To hug me so the demons flee. All I ever longed for, was for a mother. To hold me and say " Don't worry, everything will be OK". Instead, all I've ever received was cold 'love'. I received lonely birthdays, followed by insults and comparison of my younger blood. All I ever received was beatings and rage. The bottle claimed her just as the blade claimed me. All I received was isolation. All I feel now is rage. Rage to her, rage to the world for abandoning me. Rage to my friends for having love, hating then secretly because they're not alone in the middle of a crowd. All I feel is apathy, an indifference to a life that's been unkind to me. I didn't ask to be the monster, so why do they complain when I show all I know? I am just a simple product of society's rejects. All I ever dreamed for, all I ever prayed for, all I ever hoped for, was just to not be alone. But that's all I got, it's all I know.

They all went and they passed.
They were my blessings,
lessons
saviors
and my downfalls too.
They gave me
calmness and happiness,
before putting me straight in
the eye of the hurricane.
They gave me a lot to remember,
those who came before you.
They were a lot of things,
but there's one thing
they never were.

And now, you are my heart,
my soul,
my peace,
a part of my dreams.
You are my laughter
and my tears.
You are the songs that I sing
and the words that I bleed.
You are my weakness
and my greatest strength.
But the most important thing
that you are,
that no one ever was before -

You are my home.