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 Jun 2015
Pax
Would it be okay if I say, I’ve had enough of your presence in my life?
You’re too much of everything I hate
of all the things, you annoy me.
I wish you were gone and would fade away like you never existed.
But still you were there reminding me
of all the wrong things,
The bad memories,
The irritating personalities,
                   The foolish behaviors,
                                   The selfish self,
                                            and lastly
                                   The sad and gloomy
                                          State of mind.

I did something to hide you,
I can simply toss you aside,
Put a mask on your face,
        Do a charade
              Making you aware that you don’t exist,
              and a complete cover-up of make belief.
I’ve done everything possible I can to coat or erase your every existence
But then I realized you’re a part of me
That can never be erased
A reflection of me
The reality of me
You can never be without me   and    I can never be without you
because
all in all
you’re
me
.
"i wrote this when i was really down with myself
i always blame myself."

- that's what i said way back when I wrote this last July 2012. Now I've grown to understand myself better, accepting the things that I needed to embrace and just live the way I wanted without hate in my system. Yes, I guess the hate is still there, it doesn't fade easily, we always have our insecurity, sometimes it helps us stay grounded on our feet, but most of the time it hinders us in doing something good for us. I am glad that I found comfort, creativity, acceptance & understanding in poetry without it, I'll be exploding in every path I take...  Thank you for reading my friends.
 Jun 2015
Pax

I’m strong enough not to let you see me fall apart
So I hide my cries between my sighs.

I’m strong enough to stand alone against the cold landscape
So I hide my sadness between fake faces.

I crave, I starve, I wonder
And get lost in the process.
Then end up getting back to where I started.

How far will I stay strong?
How far will I carry along this dying song?
When will I ever belong?
......

..
.

I always talk on how poetry is an embark journey of mine. But more often I came back with recurring questions. I can say “I’m strong enough” but for how long, how far long will I go, or how much more I can take… big sighs…
 Jun 2015
Lauren Leal
There is a war in my heart
When did this start?
I feel like I'm caving in
to myself from within

Such a heavy weight on my chest
Can someone take a little and leave me the rest?
But there is no one in sight
Just me outside and alone on this starry night.

This pain is getting the best of me
fading away of what I used to be
I can feel the raging war
My heart grows fierce even more

I fall to my knees gripping my heart
It throbs about to burst apart
I sqeeze my eyes shut to the pain
Feel the water run down my face from the rain

Then I hear someone close by
I look up and begin to cry
For who I see in front of me
Is the couple we were meant to be

I wander to where I was last
I sit
I read
Your name, the dates on the stone in different contrast

There is a War in my heart
I pray it will be the last
To a friend.

— The End —