He's lost in the wilderness
This world taught him not to depend on others
He couldn't trust anyone
So he turned his back on everyone
He couldn't even trust the trees
Thought the leaves would abandon him
Cursed the breeze
Because it whispered through the hollow bark
His trust issues run deep like the underground spring he drank from
An even though it was fresh
He boiled it to get rid of any contaminated mess
Chose the life of solitude
Conclude that trust was just a ruse
To paranoid
Lead him to even mistrust himself

the pain you feel
howls out within
to be articulate

and haltingly
   you start
to carve its silhouette
on people's minds

knowing that nothing's gained
unless your pain
meets with itself
in others

You called me golden
Like, perhaps, I could be a California river
And now I know that I am that swollen western stream
Scattered with pebbles of treasure
And you are the man that is sifting through me
Marveling at a beauty I cannot see:
Telling me how the sun made me sparkle,
Bragging about the curve of my body through the hills...
I know that I am that western vein because
I know I give more than I take,
I know I could never stick around for long...
I feel like you're like the others
Who held me in a colander and
Walked away with all I could give them.

As a poet I will always wonder
If my body ran under your fingertips like the Great Plains rolling under a tempest...
If the hollow echo of my breaking heart beating against your skin made you recoil in disgust?
Did the breath we share grow stale as it sat in my aching lungs?
Does the pale ghost of my lips make your neck shiver and tremble?
Where did your heart move when you held me; did it fill your stomach like it did mine?
Could the space where my hand used to lay thaw if you recollect?
Would your skin itch for the soft tracing of my fingertips again?
Do your ears strain for the sound of your name falling from my lips like leaves lifted by an autumn breeze?

As a person I will always wonder
If you even loved me.

your presence in me
my presence in you
when we tear at each other
in anger and despair
hurts terribly

signs of love and hate
collide
spawning wild words
hard feelings
dark bitterness
escalating

until I remember
that we found each other
miraculously
in this world

forgive me

I love you

predators of the soul
strike at the unexpected hour
having stalked their prey
for days and weeks and months

suddenly
the sun looks wan
and you know
they are there
waiting

when they attack
it’s almost a relief
and yet
the struggle is
for life
or death

the beast of the jungle
is very strong

it is that other side
of your core
that rears its head
in dark moments

Let's make an effort to age this sadness for 16 years
Will it hold weight then?
Will it be a tangible thing that you can hold, and hug and touch?
Will it have a taste of metallic blood or simply smell like the musty wood of forgotten time?
Let's bottle it away
Give it time to mature
And maybe one day we can both sample the fruits of this labor

grey times
roll over me
with their silencing howls

they close my mouth
cling to my thoughts
press me downward
where light is not

they love the dark
where one is like the other

no more difference

everything grey

gruesome

I can't remember you being around for my birthdays
Then again you were absent on my birth day Since the beginning you were a no show
If you wanted to be a dad that's never seen
You did it so well
If you wanted to be around
I couldn't tell
There's no wish in a well
That's could wish this well
You can't fix a broken relationship that was never there
There's no love for you that can be found
Shot dead
Then hung underground just to be sure
What I feel for you
There is no cure
Your empty promises held a lot of weight
But only a child holds on to hate
Hope you don't think your a good father
Even if you tried its to late
You were a dad but in the worst way

from the crevices of thought
have grown naked ribs of rocks
shaping into mountain cliffs
on whose peaks thick clouds are wrought

there I stand  shivering
   on drizzling heights
strain mine eyes to find some lights
so I see
     and not miss
steps that lead from the abyss

                  * *

Lips black from her excessive intake
Fingers stained yellow
From her everyday routine
She inhales chemical warfare
Exhales a toxic stream
Addicted to the nicotine
Even if her choice isn't on the shelf
Anything will do to satisfy the fein
Smoking like today's her last
In two's and three's
Her lack of knowledge makes her thinks she immune
Doesn't believe it's a disease
It already ate the color in her face
Shriveled her lungs with ease
She doesn't notice it's hard for her to breath
Creeped in the crevices of her teeth
Darkened them
Now there bleak and weak
Says she's quitting
So she buys a stock to last her weeks  
Giving up is a struggle
She's just a hopeless smoker

He liked to pretend he was a doctor
And she was his sick patient
Touched and inspected her
Forced her to be still and quiet
She didn't move
Fear kept her paralyzed
Once she said no
But he choked her and almost didn't let go
Trapped in a world where her dad touched her
But he said it was because he love her
If this was love she didn't want it
But to weak to confront it
To scared to defend it
Instead stuck in a world of unwanted love

dead bodies floating
in our oceans
from the Asian Pacific
to the Mediterranean

crumpled corpses lying
on our beaches
thousands drowned unknown

overcrowded detention centers
not unlike concentration camps
behind barbed wires
guarded by police and snarling dogs

nobody feels responsible

not  those who started wars
destroyed whole cities
made millions homeless
and into refugees

not those who take advantage
of the chaos for their own gain
abusing the names of their gods
or some ancient figurehead
to excuse their atrocities and greed

not those who live
in comfortable homes
and wish the desperate crowds
would just stay on the TV screen
and not come close

nor those who pretend
to be the guardians
of our great humanitarian heritage
but show no backbone
against nationalist fanatics

it is the shame of the world
to sit and talk and watch
and not do enough

those who turn away
the needy and homeless
could also
      quite suddenly
lose their homes

forced to rely
on the kindness of strangers