Get out
Get out of my life
Put your anger somewhere else
Not here not now
Don’t blame me for things I haven’t done
Or what I don’t meant to do
Get out of my life, befor I’m poisoned
Dying every minute thanks to you





No,
come back

It was always natural for him
To smell like cigarettes
Even though I was pretty sure
That he had never touched one directly
In all his years of living and lusting.
But who am I to judge,
The local Laura Palmer
Who thinks with ambition
That she has the world by the entrails?
Sweat dripping, anger sipping
Wine out of her clavicle cavity,
She and I are a beast,
A torrential force to be reckoned with
Though I cower.
So bravely, so tenderly,
I cower so as not to ruin
The pleading ferocity
Of cigarette boy,
His hand pressed
Firmly against the curve of my hip.

Cigarette boy pulled me from my cowering the other night,
Took his own hand off my hip
And whispered to me
That I was as big as I wanted to be
And I could over power the earth
With my love and care.

These are the things I love him to say
Between the drags I take off him.

I know you think about it
Every day
I wish that I could chase your
Demons away
But who would I be
Enamored of?
Your shadow is
The one I love

The things you try to  
Sublimate
I find very easy
To relate
Your shadow self
Has such a hold
Over your heart
And both our souls

I loved you, at first,
more than anything.
Nothing else mattered,
If I could be by your side,
I would’ve protected you from a n y t h i n g.

The feeling of
your lips touching mine.
Cold and dull,
is it wrong that I still miss them?

Your eyes drifted to others,
never straying to mine,
never filled with the same spark.
Why won't you look at me?

You would say it,
those three words and I could only listen
as you say it to the others.
Not to me. Never to me.
They always got your love,
and warm smiles,
while you gave me your screams of
"You should be happy. Why aren't you happy?"

My orders:
never to be near you,
holding hands was forbidden,  
we did not know each other, not publicly.
They would get the wrong idea.
“She's just a friend,” You would say.
Forcing me into a corner, chained,
As your collar (pleaseithurtsithurts) leaves me
b r e a t h l e s s.

It was all a game, wasn't it?
Of how fast I could love you (whatwasithinking),
of how much I could bleed (Goditwaseverywhere)
of how long before I couldn’t take it (saveme,please,anyone)
You were the king,
and I, your faithful pawn,
Just another piece on your board.

Your touches, never warm, never tender
What an artist you were,
Always defacing your canvas with your brushes,
Aren’t you talented?
Is this what love is?
Take it back, please,
I don't want this anymore.  
I just wanna forget (getitoutgetitout).

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me, no one ever does.”

Despite the screaming in my head,
The tears in my eyes
"I'm fine..."
Is what I said
"I'll be there in a few minutes..."
Then I put down the phone
And ran into the street
My suicide
"An accident" they'll say
The perfect plan.

The average person lies four times a day,
The most common lie is
"I'm fine"

I nvisible
'
M arred
F ucked
I nsecure
N uerotic
E mpty