I think I loved you most the winter your heating was broken
And we’d stay inside all morning
Pretending to complain that we couldn’t get out of bed
Our clothes becoming little islands on the floor,
Ones that we could not quite find the courage to visit

Your hand stayed glued to my hip,
Your breath warming my shoulder
Like a long drag of whiskey
That kind that had a home so far away,
In a glass bottle on top of your refrigerator.
The one that would not be opened
Until that fateful day in February,
When everything went wrong

And on that unbearable night
When you joked that you’d freeze to death if I left you
There was a long silence
Like it might be true.

Now it’s warm enough
That I show too much skin when sitting in bars
And you avoid me like the plague,
Whispering in any girl’s ear that’s near to you
Every time you see me watching out of the corner of your eye

We should have stayed inside when the ice began to melt
Because I think
When those doors opened and we finally ventured outside
The world had changed,
And so had you and I.

There are things

Hard to decrypt

I'm a fool, never seem to get any hints
Never seem to understand what she really implies

My heart tells me that some of the things she says are about me

My mind tells me I'm selfish and ******* for believing anything like that can be about me when she has him.....

She tells me she's not sure who she writes about, it just all comes out when she writes

Our past together are the only herpa times I've ever had.....

I can't help hoping you still think about me the way I do with u...

I can't stop my heart from beating when I hear you say my name.....
And I can't stop it from aching when I see u in his arms...

I want you in my arms
I want you on my lips
I want you by my side
I want you hand in mine
I
Want
You

I struggle with hearing your name.
I struggle with seeing your face on my feed.
I struggle with what happened between you and me.
I struggle with the friends i know from knowing your name and place we would hang.
I struggle with wanting you.
I struggle with the fact that we both found someone else.
I struggle with hoping its all for the best.
but most of all I struggle with the thought of you in my heart and mind that won't let me rest..

I like being by myself
There are times when I require no help,
But when it comes to trying to find someone to share life's wealth
I keep being shot down, like a ninja that ***** at stealth.

The only girls that have stood by my side and lived with my crazy hide
Are my headphones and guitars because they never judge or deride,

My guitars cry, scream, laugh, yell, and talk for me when I don't have any words
My headphones give me insight on this crazy *** world we live with.

So maybe I'm not perfect, maybe I'm a big music nerd
Maybe the notes played by an artist show me more love than an extra drunk dove

Maybe I had the perfect girl right beside me the whole time
Or rather in my pocket, whichever you find.

But while my spirit is filed to bursting my heart and flesh grow grey and bleak
Now I know what they mean when the spirit is willing but the flesh weak

I've never known the kiss of soft lips, a warm heart beating in sync with mine,
I'd give anything to experience this, that elusive feeling so divine.
It doesn't help that the majority of my friends know this to well, what is it? What can I never seem to find?

12:05 am, drunk text, honest words
fingers brush the send button
message sent reads the screen,
sweaty palms, backtracking
hit delete, no use

eyes close, deep breath
message received


1:00 am, sober thoughts
angry groan, swear words
escape your lips,
waiting, hoping, praying
hit open, no use
eyes close, deep sigh
no reply

3:16 am**, point of no return
parallel realities flash by
one good, one bad
one yes, one no
call him? no use
eyes close, almost asleep
one new text

You’re hundreds
Of miles away,
And yet,
I'm functioning
Perfectly fine.

The days without you are lonely,
The nights without you are cold,
But even though you are gone now
That burning passion will never grow old.
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night ,
Just knowing that you are gone, but it makes
Me feel better knowing that you are peacefully at Home.
Your body lays at rest now,
It's Harder than I thought,
Just knowing you are
Gone for good, and thinking it's all my fault.
Time will have to take its course now,
For There's nothing left to do.
Just always remember that I still care and that I will
Forever love you.