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cloh Jul 2019
...
Well both be gone one day
Tell me why does that scare you?
Cause it’s the only certain thing you know
In a life that can’t prepare you?
cloh Jan 2017
Out of all the billions of places in this world
You are here
You are reading these words on this page
Look around
Close your eyes
You’re aware of where you are
You’re aware of your breathing
You’re aware of every muscle moving in your body
Every sound surrounding you
Every thought in your vast, poetic mind.  
But one thought is more prevalent than the others
Beyond the whispers of your own mind’s voice
Reading the words to your soul
You can’t help but think
This all has to mean something
Perhaps I am exactly where I am meant to be
Open your eyes
Go back to seeing the world
cloh Dec 2016
Listening so soft as the chirp and they cry
Feeling so small when they take off and fly
Feeling so lonely when they're lost in the sky
You never know when
And you never know why
cloh Aug 2018
I’m not saying I like the taste of cigarettes
I just need to be reminded
To breath deeply
Please, hold my soul while I light another match
Just in case I set fire
To the part of me I never cared for
And I’ll hold yours  
So I can start believing in the world again
cloh Aug 2017
It's been raining all morning
You said you knew
Closed the windows by noon.
But 5 o clock rolled by
The sky still grey
You said the world looked brand new.

So here we are again
Same old friend
Same old truth.
Here we go once more
Better now?
better you?

Don't search in your dreams
It won't have your answers
Just a place you wish you knew.
And once in awhile
A person will come by
But that person's never you.

So here we are again
Different friend
Same old truth.
Shake me awake
So I can see
It wasn't you...
lyrics
cloh Sep 2021
The book will come in five days  
I wish had bought it five days ago
So that I could have it in my hands right now
But I am grateful that five days from now
I can say I’m glad that I bought it today
something simple
cloh Jul 2017
You look and you look
For a place to call home
You sit in your house
Yet you still feel alone
You search in the shadows
You try in the rain
But all that you find
Is still darkness and pain
You start conversations
You look for new friends
Though the seasons will change
And relationships end
So you think you'll be happy
If you go to the sea
But you get there and think
Perhaps the hills are for me
No tides, no changes
Just grass and blue sky
But you get there and realize
There's no place to hide
So you think to the one place
You haven't yet looked
You pick up a pencil
And a blank little book
You write down your story knowing
Words won't pretend
Words never change
Never leave, never end
So you write and you write
And out comes your soul
And within yourself
You find you've always been home.
cloh Dec 2016
See you soon, I'm leaving
I'll be back before dark;
Before the street lamps make the world less black
And the Sun makes its final mark.

I can't help but stare
At the dirt as I tread
This Place is too familiar
I prefer unknown terrain instead.

By every minute I forget my Home
As I get further and further away
No, I can't forget my Home
Home's my only place.

But if Home is all I have
Why do I have such an urge to leave?
The lamps must have burnt out
For my Shadow's disappearing.

The Air around is cold
If I could make it warm I would
But even if I could control It
I'm not sure if I should.

I can barely breath it in
The Air, it's toxic in my lungs
Keeping me from breaking free
Can't you see my mind is stunned?

My feet move further away
And between the Roads ahead
I turn down one I thought was right
Should have turned left instead.

Nothing looks familiar
The ground is hallow track
My lips are sorta trembling
When should I travel back?

I told you I'd be Home by dark
But I'm still focused on my shoes
I didn't know the Sun went down
'Til the world turned to blackened hues.

I’m already lost
The Sky's already black
So what's the use of calling Home
Or ever going back?
cloh Dec 2018
In the distance I heard singing
a quiet empty hymn
In the daylight I saw shadows
Nice to see you, how’ve you been  
You walk me through your garden
While I hide from you my sins
I know I said I wouldn't come back  
but here we are again

I know it barely is enough
but its everything I have
to stand here waiting patiently
for you to let me in
https://soundcloud.com/cllohhh/i-dreampt-of-heaven
cloh May 2017
I’m sorry you love me
But I’m lost in the sky
Forming reality
Behind my own two eyes
I seek a new pleasure
I’ve found a new life
I’m not here for attachments
So don't waste fragile time
You tell me I’m lost
I tell you you’re right
But I’m happier here
Inside my own mind
cloh Mar 2017
I awoke to see the world unfold
The crystal views I long to hold
To follow stars, a night calm and still
Getting lost among rich foothills

I came with you, our final dance
We walk the landscape hand in hand
Souls form to one like molding clay
With words we ruin the pure white page
cloh Dec 2016
What am I suppose to do
Search for the future
Or linger in youth
Live life in a painting
Enjoying the view
Of the mountains painted purple
And the sky painted blue

What do you want me to do
Spend a lifetime waiting
For something brand new;
Stay here where my soul rests
Or go back to you
I regret falling asleep and missing the view
If you don't have me
Will I still have you?
cloh Jul 2017
I watch the Mountains,
as if waiting for them to move.
Waiting for them to grow or shrink
Or disappear completely.
So that maybe I could have something new to ponder
other than where is the clear horizon
I've heard so much about?
I'm lost among the foothills
while the hills remind me I'm small.
Thoughts from an old Wyoming road // 7.4.17 9:03am
cloh Dec 2016
Kindly unspoken
These words breaking broken
I'll never get out of my head.
Too much devotion
And deep felt emotion
Better off to leave it unsaid.
cloh Dec 2016
we’ll converse over cheap breakfast
and lousy cups of coffee
with few spoken words
for caffeine is what keeps our minds awake
the lack of sleep is getting to me
you too?
my mind is aching to tell me
to do something productive
but i'd rather sit here in silence with you
cloh Dec 2016
Is it the air
Keeping you asleep
While I hold a cigarette up to my lips
Instead of your kiss
And write cursive on the foggy car window

Stay asleep I'm enjoying the peace
I've made love in my teenage dreams
But for now I'm fine with you just lying with me
cloh Dec 2016
Longing for love
the missing component
Perhaps you can give me some to borrow

Always trying
to live in the moment
While waiting for a better tomorrow
cloh Nov 2017
I’m losing myself
Becoming you

When you're not becoming me

Sometimes I want connection
Most times I want to be free
cloh Dec 2016
It's easy to get lost in the moment
It's easy to get lost in time
It's easy to get lost in the music
And wonder why we're so hard to find
cloh May 2017
I see your face in the moonlit sky
I can’t believe it but oh I try
To imagine a world where time stays at a standstill
You lean in closer but I move back
You can’t decipher my mind tonight
But darling if only you knew
Everything’s falling apart

You say you love me but I don’t see it
I’m hard to love and I know you believe it
Why waste your time when you know
Time will tear us apart, well
maybe thats love?
maybe thats love.
a song,actually
cloh Dec 2016
I withheld my solitude
for I did not wish to seem so easily
lost among the darkness
and the vastness of eternity

There are billions all around me
of every simple thing
stars, humans, blades of grass
but only one of me

I let myself get lonely
I let myself get lost
In the mind of one who thinks deliberately
I'm in my own palace
cloh Dec 2016
but im tired of being who i don’t want to be
living the same old empty morning
glancing in blurred reflections
to see nothing looking back at me
for all the windows they have fogged
and i'll be trapped inside until tomorrow comes along
cloh Dec 2016
the wind doesn’t twice
blow the leaves the same way
today they will dance
tomorrow they’ll sway
some will be gone
though still some will stay
but it won't be the same
as it was yesterday
cloh Jan 2017
Abruptly being brought back to this life
After hours of coming to know a new one
Leaves a strange empty void in my mind.
It plays vividly, only in the first seconds of morning
Though time replaces the metaphoric visions of fantasy
With superficial visions of reality  
And the longer time elapses,
It becomes altered to seem just a distant memory
Too long ago to remember
Too significant to forget
Before it soon disappears into the void of the subconscious.
There is a strange, empty feeling without it  
And I long for it to come back
What was once thought of as reality
Is now simply a suppressed reverie
cloh Jan 2017
You are given a chance to relive one day of your life again
With every moment feeling just as it did the first time
You can simply sit back and enjoy the day again
Or you can make something new of the moment

You think long and hard of what day in your past
Would be most necessary to relive
So a significant truth of yourself is revealed through this:
How do you make that choice?

Would you go back to enjoy and relive just that day
Or would you go back to change your whole life
cloh Dec 2016
we’re always waiting.
we’re always waiting for tomorrow or the next
we’re always waiting for high school to be over
just so we could wait for college to be over
just so we could wait until we’re married
and then we have a family.
so we have our whole life figured out?
but we never stop waiting
we wait for more money
so we can buy more expensive cars
or a bigger house
we wait for vacations off work
because we’re working too **** hard
and somewhere between all this waiting
we seem to miss time passing by
our faces show the sign of it
and kids get taller by every minute
we begin to wonder whats the point
but we wait for even that
we wait until we find the meaning
as if it takes waiting to find
yet we’ll never really find it
and so we’re never satisfied
we assume waiting will fill the emptiness
bring us joys and things we lack
but it only pushes time ahead
and leaves our souls dragging behind
and when our bones become too weak
and our bodies ache for rest
we’ll even wait for that
for the day that is our last
cloh Oct 2021
A soft soul cannot be broken
Like how a blanket cannot fall from your hands
and shatter upon impact with the ground
It only changes form

A soft soul falls and sinks into the Earth so that
the limbs intertwine with the roots of trees
Soon it's hard to tell which is which
once they become one

To be lost underneath the Earth can get lonely
But in darkness, specks of Light cast stars behind the eyes
Maybe real or imaginary
In that Light, the soul knows its source

A soft soul finds balance
Lets the trees pull their feet further under
And yet fly through the mind's galaxy
Lost in its own reality
Not looking to be found
cloh Dec 2016
We dream of pure perfection
Spend our whole lives trying to find
A happiness we know won't last
'Cause it's all in our minds

The world can be a bitter place
Too much time is spent inside
But if these walls can be escaped
You'll see there's better joy to find

The dim lit world in evening air
Could easily be missed
We let the warm sun slip away
Another day that wasn't lived

It doesn't have to be like this
We don't have to be so blind
Every wonder living has to offer
Should be what we aim to find

We dream of pure perfection
But that world ceases to exist  
Yet there's a sort of grace in every flaw
Look past perfect and you'll find bliss
cloh Dec 2016
Staring wide eyed in the city
Like I've never been alive before
With you following close behind
Like your afraid I'll fall over
The edge of sanity, I'll go crazy
With a new found love for hope
And leave you back there in the dark in the cloudy days

There's no room for your pestering body
Begging me to stay
I'll be fine in the in the dim lit night
Where I can’t see your face
Take the train on home I'll stay; I found my new place
Lost in the streets of a simple place
Where no one knows my name
cloh Dec 2016
Hello, Life
So this is you
A broken world
An unclear view
Trapping me
Behind boundaries of time
Wondering if
I'm on the right side
One side's where You are
The other is free
So am I killing time
Or is time killing me
cloh Sep 2021
I am happy that time flies
Cause then I can think of time as the bird
I watch from my balcony
Stopping by here and there
to say hello
Then taking flight
to remind me he doesn't belong to me
I know we can be friends
when I hear him chirp as I sit inside
As if he's telling me to come sit with him
But he is not a tangible creature
and would take flight once again
If I ever tried to reach for him
cloh Dec 2016
The world was brand new then
I walked it thinking it might be
The last time I’d ever walk again.
Here I am once more
Same ideas, different setting
Same soul, different body
Seeing if I could change
Escape the same old fate
But I’ve been here quite awhile
Meeting ones I used to know
For the first time
Feeling like we’ve met before
Meeting ones who walk
Like how I used to
When everything was new
Naive as the first spring flower
Plucked for being the only beautiful thing
After a dark, cold winter

I am tired now
Tired of seeing the same thing
Happen over and over again
The world never changes
Never gets better
Never learns from past mistakes
And I just keep on dying
And waking up in a similar life
As if my existence is merely a dream,
The reoccurring kind.
I know theres something else out there
But He’ll never let me reach it
I'll just keep on failing
Keeping everything the same
Unless in order to move on
I have to be the change
cloh Feb 2017
Today the world was painted a lovely shade of gray
I could have sat in the rain and watched it all day
As the strange, fickle hues of gray sky changed
But life doesn’t allow me to live that way.
cloh Sep 2019
It's poetry
When you look at me
and I can't help but wish
forever I can stay

When time stands still
maybe I'll find peace
But tomorrow has no patience for today
9.21.2019
cloh Mar 2018
Would you believe me if I told you
the world is on my shoulders
She cries for me late at night
So I stay awake to hold Her

I never meant to live like this
but I’m always glad I do
Because it puts the weight on me
And takes it all off you

But as I hold you in my hands
The world feels so light
That’s when I finally understand  
Why I continue to fight
cloh May 2020
Peace is the boredom I take for granted
I let hours pass through a blank wall
while whispers of guilt dance in my mind
I'm not asking for more time
I'm asking for something to do
Because in the midst of vacancy
It still isn't enough
cloh Feb 2017
The light leaking in from the stars whisper midnight
Only a flickering candle keeps time
Where but a dim lit room would suffice?
Muttering dreams to an empty white page.

The kind flame descends; with your spirit in hand,
you paint the image of a life to come
But the world seems to change so fast
Your hesitant brush can't keep up.

So you search in the shadows for a constant in time
And your eyes become fixed on a vase
Dehydrated flowers weaving fingers together
Like a garden of youth to suffuse empty space.
cloh Nov 2017
Anxiously
Awaiting for what, I never know
Tried to find myself
But there are places I'll never go
Thought I made my way out
But I found my way back in
Gilded days I'm living
Swear to God I never win

And I spent all last night
Staring into my own eyes
Trying to find who I am  
I stay asleep all day
Hoping my dreams will give away
A person, a place, a plan
cloh Jul 2018
Sometimes I wish
I could fit everything I own
In a suitcase and go
Where
I don’t know
Not to get away
Just to prove to myself
I belong to everything
And better yet to see
Nothing belongs to me
6/20/2018
cloh Dec 2016
don’t listen to the walls around us
they’re never really right
just the sad truth and broken words
of those who can’t stay quiet

enclosing us with every breath
but for us no place to breath
were forced to take in every word
and think what they believe
cloh May 2017
Please let me know before I fall in love
With any more broken memories;
Are you going to change?
Because I’m tired of looking back
And missing how things used to be.
cloh Jul 2018
would you miss the hours
if you never felt them go
would you miss the flowers
if you never saw them grow
would you miss the drink
if you never took a sip
would you miss life
if you never learned to live
6/7/2018

— The End —