We live in mist and cloud
searching for warmth and mirth.

The mist fades, the clouds falter.

We each stand on a peak.
I see her glimmering smile
it banishes doubt and worry.

Who knew a smile could
be
so mollifying
so
filling, yet distant?

I look below
to the treacherous
valley.
I shiver at thought
but
omens cannot purchase
my hope.
I march forward.

Across the chasm
of maybe so
and
perhaps not
I fight the tide of
blistering denial, of
mourning and loss
but as I near,
her smile loses its bearings
it slackens and crumbles
smeared in shadow
it dies slowly
so does
my
odyssey...

Without her sunlit smile
to light the way
through treacherous valley
and darkening day
I wait, in wonder
of my eager
stupidity,
and waste away
in ravenous dismay
for her smile does fade
in the nearing
when will I learn that I
can never get
close for comfort.

they say that i'll get over him
but when they say that they aren't thinking about the same things as me

about how he moved on inside of two weeks after we broke up
and how i had loved him unconditionally for the past 9 months of my life
or how he knows my secrets and i know his and that's what trust is, right?

he wasn't mine
and i think i believed that he was for too long
and now it's turned into a habit

You'll be okay.
Lay down, tuck yourself in my waves.
Close your eyes, my budding flower, let yourself dream.
Your colours will paint the coral reefs,
Your breathing will rock the fish
back and forth in this blanket,
nestling next to you.
You'll be okay.

You're like remembering how to breathe.
Not the choking gasp when you crawl up from water or the panting hiss that comes when the panic lets go.
You're the steadying of your breath as you fall asleep.
You're midday coffee and candles just lit and the lilt of a laugh that catches in your throat when you're so happy it feels like you'll break
Seeing the stars through the smog and looking down at mountains from the window of a plane
you're the cold of the ocean and warmth of a bed on the mornings you wake an hour before the alarm and the quiet of a snowstorm in the middle of the night
You're every word I know, but I can't find a way to string them together to explain how it feels when I wake up feeling your heartbeat.