Chris Park: Poems

Chris Park Mar 2016

I just keep walking
not knowing where to go
A distant future
But a past that runs so slow.
I'm lost and confused
With no one to grip
A knife in my back
A heart that's been ripped.
I live each day
With a steady breath
and a blink to follow
I never thought it'd be hard
Until my heart turned hollow .
I wanna shout out
For someone to come and save me
I'm crying and lashing
asking for a plea.
For someone to take away this dreadful pain,
That's clashing in my mind
I always thought I'd see love,
But I just ended up blind
Why is this happening to me?
What did I ever do?
It seems like sunny days are over
And all I can see is blue.
But black can't even describe my soul
My incompetent fate
I drown in tears
My soul filled with hate.
I wish i could start over
As if my life can respawn,
Or maybe it'd be better,
If I were just gone

#love #broken #pain #depressed

A Different Shade of Blue

Chris Park Jan 2017

A Different Shade of Blue

She's the girl you read about in books,
The one with a happy ending.
An intelligient mind,
With a heart that's still mending.

She's the girl you'll wish to meet,
The one that's worth trying.
A strong steady spirit,
With a perseverance that's never dying

She's the girl that's truly special
The diamond within the stones,
One who is worth listening to,
The music to your headphones.

She's the girl who will inspire
The success story no doubt,
The chapters in a book,
You'll read to your kids about.

Shes the girl that brings smiles,
Something so bright and new.
A happier life's to come ,
With this different shade of blue .

Inspired by a new friend , a warm soul , and an open heart

A Floating Anchor

Chris Park Apr 2016

A Floating Anchor

The chains wrapped around my body seem to get tighter every day.
The thriving sensation in my chest never seems to go away.
The stones attached to my feet, aim to drag me down lower.
I can't even scream for help, cause the waters getting colder.
I try to remember what it was like, to be able to breathe on my own
but the weights that are sewn into me, continuously have grown.
The shackles on my wrist feel like wet concrete in the sun
My blood flow has stopped, and the feeling is numb.
I don't know how to explain myself, when people ask me what's wrong
I just look and say nothing, with a smile to go along
but really I'm not sure, and I haven't found the right answer
I'm just tired of living and wish death would come faster
I"m slowly going under the harder I'm thinking
Trying to find a way to keep myself from slowly sinking.
My body wants to break free , but it's my mind that's not allowing
maybe it's best if i just give in, I mean I'm already drowning.

#love #broken #lonely #hate #depressed #breaking

A torn stitch, a broken needle

Chris Park Sep 2016

A torn stitch, a broken needle

I tried my best this time I really did!
To start all over and try to feel happiness again.
But just like that, life dragged me down.
Leaving me  empty and useless
For what's a king without a crown?
A new beginning that came to an end
Trying to hold in the demons,
so my heart can finally  mend.

Yet I'm just a slave of a constant depression
a body with no soul,  dripping teardrops of perfection.
I hoped for a chance but I was just given a fate,
relying on the bottle and taking the pills for a date .

I'm racing my life down,
Leaving with traces of evil
Theres no point in trying
when your left with
a stitch and a broken needle.

#depression #sorry #givingup

Drifting minds, and Falling skies

Chris Park Apr 2016

Drifting minds, and Falling skies

I always wonder how life would be,
if we were still together.
Would the words I love you mean something?
Or just be a parade of letters.
I guess I'll never know...and I'll forever have to wonder
the hardest part of letting go,
is trying to forget what you remember.

But finally I'm free!

Or at least that's what my mind wants me to feel...

Maybe I'll feel free, when the devil takes up my deal.

When you let go, why is the pain caged in like nightfall, and not release like the sun rays up above?

Maybe that's the reason why they call it,

falling in love...

Kudos to those who get the title

#love #broken #pain #depressed #empty #letgo

Give up, it's Over

Chris Park Mar 2016

Give up, it's Over

Another sleepless night.

The voices in my head never seem to stop.

The screams and the yells are a continuous wall that I just can't  seem to break through.

My body feels like it's trapped in  a cement cage.
A feeling so dark and confused, it's seems no bullet or pill can bring sweet pleasure to what's left of my empty soul.

How do you love, when your heart is unattached ?
The pieces are missing , and the center is cracked .

How do you love , when you want to give up?
When your mind says okay,
But everything else is  ****** .

I guess the best way to love, Is to just let go,
Let the pain take over,
And give the devil, your soul ...

#broken #pain #depressed #dismay

Pull The Trigger

Chris Park Apr 2016

Pull The Trigger

Put a bullet in my skull, maybe two or three.

I'm  tired of all the excuses  and lies, that you made me believe.

I wish you were out of my life already, but I also wish we just met.
but why do you keep giving me hope we'd be together again, then dropping me like a finished cigarette.

I try my best not to look at a text, that comes from your  name.
Cause ever since you've left me, I can't read them the same.

I just want to let you go,
and forget all we had
and whatever could've been.
I mean,  why do you always ask me what could've been
when you were the one who broke us apart to begin.

I just can't take much longer of your fake innocence and lies
I just wish you'd let me be
everyone keeps thinking I'm the wrong one, but you're the one they don't bother to see.

Yet I never cared what others thought, and never will I ever,
cause they don't know what it feels like, to lose what you thought you'd have forever.

Because forever and always, was what we always said after our I love you's.
but now your happy with another guy, while I'm lost singing the blues.
I wish you'd get out of my head so I can finally be free.

Better yet,
just put a bullet in my skull, maybe two or three.

#love #broken #depressed #heartbroken #angry #upset

Stop the rain

Chris Park May 2016

Stop the rain

I have to imagine these thoughts of us being back together,
but its never the same .
You are already happy again with someone else,
But why can't I change?
It seems so unfair how easy it is for you to let go and not me ,
I just wish I'd never met you
then my heart wouldn't be melting.
I just wish I could forget you
and let you go and close the chapter to our book,
But every photo of you brings back the memories we once had, and all the times they were all took.
But I just wanna forget them now,
Cause it feels like I'm the only one in pain.
I just wanna forget us now,
Cuz I no longer want it to rain .

#love #broken #sad #hate #depressed

To The Moon And Back

Chris Park Mar 2016

To The Moon And Back

I shot for the moon for you , and only landed among the horizon of space.

I promised that I'd be there for you when you come back .
But it aches.
The pain of losing you into a black hole.
A distance and a galaxy far away from you,
feels never endless ,
and nevertheless,
hardened by the earth's atmospheric pressure trapping me into a haze of emotions.

We take our lives for advantage,
We take each other's hand for warmth .
Yet,
All we can do is wait .
Wait in the suffering ,
of unforeseen futures,
taunted by others ,
neglected by more . ...

We never cared ,
Our love meant more than the words of pessimist and judgers ,
We walked hand in hand with each new war that came to us the next hour .
Yet you were always there for me ,
Your hand in mine.
Mine in yours .
As it will be when you come back ,
Forever and always
Through depths of space ,
and the distant future .
Landing me, among the stars .

#love #pain

Truly wish you the best

Chris Park Jan 2019

Truly wish you the best

We went from talking everyday to strangers.
From goodmorning texts to a forever goodbye.
I cant even say I miss you, because I dont know if I do.
I wasted my time and emotion, and it's what I hate.
A habit that never seems to end.
I just cant seem to find the right one.
Maybe it's me that is lost

Washed up

Chris Park Dec 2020

Washed up

There's a storm inside me
Where my heartbeat crashes like the thunder across my chest , with the water from my eyelids pouring as the rain comes to take over. It’s the lightning thats scattering throughout my mind as if Zeus is condemned with a constant rage.
Where the wind takes over my fingertips to write these imperfect letters on cold open page.

it's hard to explain how is it that I miss you
when I've never really had you in the first place
and you wouldn't understand
you see
your heart has long forgotten about feelings like these.

still

I hear your voice calling my name
I see you before my eyes
even in my dreams I write about you , where I’m still lost in the time.
and in my waking hours
your smile brings raindrops in my coffee
and tears on the shirt I wear
because once you said that you liked it;

spring brings tulips at my doorstep
but it's hard to feel their perfume
to let their scent in my broken lungs;

people tell me that all I have to do
is breathe

but it's hard to breathe without crying.

— The End —